Is it true that most guys will date a single mom with 1 child but once you go more than that it's a no?

[Anonymous]

[SteveSmith1985]

Interesting. I was just telling a single mother with one kid that finding someone wasn't going to be as hard as she thought...(like just a second ago).

I think, it's going to depend on a whole bunch of factors. I think it's a matter of... two step kids seems like a more daunting ordeal than the idea of one (which is already going to take the right kind of guy).

It's not a matter of "one kid fine two nope."

It's a matter of... being increasingly more difficult to find a man as the potential responsibility that come with the children you already have increases.

In other words, yes, I think it'll be harder for you, than the other single mother I just wrote to.

But certainly not impossible. You just need to find the right guy. There may be a pool of guys which is a bit smaller than the one for a woman with only 1 kid.

It's so individualized. Different guys will have super different views on step parenting or dating a woman with kids. Some do exactly that, and are newly put-together families and happy. Some guys get frothing-at-the-mouth angry about the very idea of dating a woman with a kid (s).

It depends on the age of the kids for some guys. Others not so much.

This is not a question anyone can answer on behalf of "guys" because it's not a thing that guys all have in common. It's extremely varied. You just need the right guy. I don't know where exactly. But he's out there. You are not the first woman with two kids looking for love.

Now if you're not thinking long-term, but just dating more for fun. I think this'll make less of a difference. I've been assuming your thinking "dating with the hopes of eventually having him co-parent my kids"

[Avicenna]

well, obviously the more she has, the less likely she will find someone willing to have a serious relationship with her. Even having one kid makes most men not interested.

[Asker]

If you don't mind me asking why does one kid make most men not interested?

[Avicenna]

There are many reasons. Off the top of my head:

1) The guy isn't really a part of the family and is often treated like an interloper
2) Single moms have lots of psychological issues stemming from the failure of whatever relationships they have had with their kid (s)' father (s).
3) Single moms are more prone to financial difficulties, and most expect the guys they date to take care of them and their kids
4) Lots of chaos in such families, chaos that wouldn't be there if the woman were childless
5) Taking care of someone else's kid (s), especially without parental authority, is a lot of work and a very thankless task
6) If she already has one or more kids, she's much more likely not to want to have more kids with her new guy (or be able to afford it)

[Asker]

1) situations matter. Obviously he won't be the number 1 priority but that could be a positive as well
2) can you elaborate on what psychological issues?
3) that is more of an outdated ideology. A lot of single mothers are doing well for themselves. Some are even doing better than men.
4) every situation isn't like that
5) that is a valid point but an understanding has to be reached before being in a serious relationship
6) I agree if you don't want to have more kids it's unfair to the guy you date. You're better off dating a single father

[Avicenna]

While you can find some single mothers who are doing well financially, children living in poverty is primarily due to single-parent households.

www.stlouisfed.org/.../single-mothers-slim-financial-cushions

"Many single mothers have very low levels of financial reserves. For example, about a third would not have been able to handle a $400 emergency expense in 2019. This is problematic because savings, even in the form of small cash balances, are critical to withstanding financial crises."

Obviously when you have kids, you have expenses you don't have as a childless person, especially childcare, which is ridiculously expensive in the US.

No one who has known any single moms is unaware of the difficulties and often chaotic lives most of them lead. And having financial difficulties causes additional problems.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5932102/

www.gov-relations.com/.../

malque.pub/ojs/index.php/mr/article/view/2649

[Blunky]

I just don't date single mothers period, based on personal experiences. Majority of the ones I've met have horrible entitlement mentalities. I've met some that were fun to be with, but there's just always that air of some kind of drama happening that I would rather not partake in, especially over a child that isn't mine.

I know lots of guys that are fine with it though. Hell, I have several friends who married women with 3 kids.

[Miristheiss]

I would hope no simp man would settle for a woman whose already reproduced with some other guy.

Only single dads (divorced or widowers).

Why would any single man with no kids go after some woman who has already been knocked up by some player guy and now has a kids

[Games_]

Dating as a single mom is going to be disqualify you from a lot of quality men


Men aren’t that interested in raising another man’s child, unless he lacks options

[Asker]

Are you speaking about men your age or older men as well?

[Games_]

This is all men. Men do not want to raise another man’s child if he has the option for better

I know you want to circumvent this, but you know it deep down as well

Can you do good as a single mom?
Maybe you can, but it’s going to be difficult than when you didn’t have a kid

This is why we tell women to BE SELECTIVE with their partners

[Asker]

I actually don't know it because I see guys date single mothers all the time. Single mothers often date or remarry after becoming a single mother.

[Games_]

You are SEEING guys but like I said are these guys that YOU would date if you had all choosing power.

I told you that when men have a option, they don’t want to raise another man’s child

Those men most likely don’t get much attention from the opposite gender

A man is going to cater another man’s child and spend his money on that child, while the child probably doesn’t respect that man. WHILE also he has to endure you being in contact with your ex

Why would any man in his right mind sign up for that if he doesn’t have to?

[Games_]

I get it, you want to cope. It’s natural you don’t want to make this situation of yours a dooming situation. But I’m giving u the real

You are trying to mention these minor exceptions to the rules, when I told u why this happens

If you’re looking for low quality men like the guy who’s ugly that you would friendzone, but he has money. Then yeah you can find a man

But if u want the guy you use to crush on with the fit body , who has money, who is just masculine, he isn’t going to pick a single mom to settle down with since he has all choosing power

U keep saying u see single moms with these men, but they are literally the men you wouldn’t look twice at

[Asker]

I'm not trying to cope. In fact I've seen single moms upgrade after leaving their baby daddy. They find guys with better qualities and more money.

[Games_]

How exactly do you know it’s an upgrade? DID u ask them?

And you are coping, because you know it’s harder as a single mom

Which is why you even made this post in the first place

Lady it’s REALLY REALLY simple but your tryna over complicate it

You CAN FIND a man as a single mom but it’s going to be harder because a lot of quality attractive men with choosing power will disqualify you for having a kid

I don't know how else you want me to tell you, at this point you are now being disingenuous

I told you there’s hope but u will have a hard time

Ur acting like a girl is gonna have attractive fit bodies millionaires all over her, just because she has a kid

[Shiprex]

I dated an old school crush who had 2 kids 15 years after we left school and that was nice although it only lasted a year almost. So I don't think it's impossible.

[Nikki1989]

Most real men who have their shit together will. Insecure types won't.

[Hellraiser1984]

No. I'm fine with it. As long as she doesn't have say 3-4+ and expect more with me.

[jahaims]

Only desperate simps take the leftovers.

[MasterKS]

Single moms are easy!

[Asker]

Not all of them

[MasterKS]

@asker in my experience most of them.

[MasterKS]

@asker are you a single mom?

[dudeinohio]

Not necessarily