Is it cheating if I downloaded a dating app and immediately deleted it?

[Anonymous]

Updates

1 y

I confided in people online for help on Reddit because I was being abused. I wasn’t sexually or romantically interested in anyone. But someone asked me a sexual question and I stupidly answered them. Is that cheating?

[777GgG]

First, I'd like to say I'm sorry about the abuse, no one deserves that. I hoping you found the help and courage you needed!

Now. You didn't match with or message anyone. You didn't kiss, touch, or acknowledge anyone. You didn't cheat.

I will say though if my partner downloaded the app I would want to know why. I'd want to know is there's something we need discuss or to work on.

Also answering a question isn't really cheating either unless the question was "can I take you out" and you said yes and actually did it.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Asker]

Don’t you think swiping is cheating? Although I’m pretty sure I just created the profile, thought about it a minute or two then deleted it.

[PeachyPie93]

Well considering you are for some reason trying to look outside of your relationship you are on a bad track. You haven't cheated yet, but you seem to be wanting to or planning on it happening. Just because your relationship is shit doesn't mean you have to run to other men to feel better. Especially if you are just trying to get out of a completely shit one rn. Wait it out, learn to deal with yourself alone, and get some counselling so you don't jump into the arms of the first guy to give you attention. Since that is usually how abusive relationships begin in the first place and clearly you like abusive guys.. :/

[Asker]

Excuse me I don’t like abusive guys and you haven’t been abused apparently or felt trapped. I left him. I wanted to make it work cuz I hadn’t found a relationship in a long time and I’m older. I would never cheat. Never have. It was a weak moment and for the record, I downloaded that right after I told him it was over yet I still lived with him.

[Asker]

I had never been in abusive relationship before and will never again stay in one if it happens.

[PeachyPie93]

He is abusive but you still live with him? That doesn't add up..
I only been mentally abused because I would never actually date a guy who physically abused me. But yes I have felt trapped at times, but I learned no one is really trapped we just put ourselves in cages of our own doing, we can actually leave at any time, yet make excuses that we can't. Stop trying to get male attention and pity because that isn't what you need rn.. You need to learn to love yourself first before you will ever find real love.

[Asker]

He didn’t physically abuse me. It was verbal and I felt trapped cuz my family didn’t want me to come home, had nowhere to go cuz I didn’t have any extra money to move out. We you are being manipulated hard enough it is hard to leave because of the trauma bond.

[Asker]

I’m not looking for male attention. You’re so unempathetic. I wasn't looking for male attention cuz I knew it wss wrong and deleted it. I’m not like that. People need support when they are being abused. It’s not about pity. Damn!

[Asker]

No one needs to tell me not to seek help when I was abused. I don’t need your advice anymore. I left him. It’s over.

[PeachyPie93]

So then why ask stupid questions? If you are broken up how is it cheating? You are just looking for attention and pity because "Awww I got abused" No one actually cares, that's life, learn to deal on your own and look for actual friends not on dating apps lol.

[Asker]

No it still felt like cheating to me because I still lived with him. I am not looking for pity and don’t need it. I feel guilty cuz I’m not a cheater. That’s what the post was about. Sorry you have no idea who you’re talking to. You’re a troll.

[Asker]

For the record a lot of people have been here for me and have cared. But you’re just not a kind person. Go mess with someone else.

[Asker]

I hope you find Jesus.

[PeachyPie93]

You do know there are plenty of places that support woman in need and abuse victims.. You don't have to stay with him just because your family won't help you. Also cheating is only physical or emotional you can't cheat if you don't have a person you tried to cheat with.. unless you were actually talking to someone else, but again you said you broke up with your guy, so it's not cheating. So no need for the question lol.

[Asker]

Some people still call that cheating to simply have the app so I wanted to ask. Everyone has a different definition. It was guilt okay.

[Asker]

I have learned from it. I will seek support in the right places now.

[SteveSmith1985]

No. It is not. I'm harder on cheating than anyone you'll ever meet. This isn't cheating. Absolutely not. I'm just unclear whether the person you're with is a new relationship. Or the one that's abusive. I really hope you're ok.

🙂

[Asker]

Thank you I’m not with anyone and I left him

[Asker]

Can I message you it won’t let me? Can you message me?

[SteveSmith1985]

I think you have to follow me first. Then I can message you. I'd be happy to chat🙂

[Asker]

I followed you and it won’t let me

[Finchie40]

No it’s only cheating if you physically and emotionally acted on it and tried keeping it a secret from your partner. So you were just curious so not that big of a deal unless your partner thinks other wise

[DishLady]

You didn't browse/use it or make a profile? Then no. You used it in some way (even casually) then you're at least emotionally cheating.

[Asker]

I downloaded it and deleted it. I don’t think I even swiped.

[Asker]

I made a pofile then deleted it right after making it

[DishLady]

"Downloaded and deleted" is different than "made a profile and deleted it."

[Asker]

This was also after I told him it’s over but still lives with him. I think to emotionally cheat you have to at least be talking to someone but I could be wrong.

[DishLady]

"Intent to cheat" is part of cheating.

[Asker]

But didn’t cheat. I was in abusive relationship and couldn’t think straight anymore. Never cheated before in any relationship.

[Asker]

Just thinking about something isn’t the same thing as acting on it. Just thinking of other people isn’t emotional cheating.

[DishLady]

Look... say/do what you want. You're going to defend your own actions with whatever you want. I'm responding to the question "Is it cheating if I downloaded a dating app and immediately deleted it?" YES IT IS.

You want to now split hairs, that's up to you. Don't download ANYTHING unless you're not WITH the guy and not IN his home. Don't download ANYTHING unless you ARE 100% SINGLE.

You don't agree? Fine... you do you. But then don't ask the question either.

[AviatorTom]

Cheating is whatever you, or someone you know, calls it. I wouldn't call what you did cheating.

[emmie12]

i do not think you cheated and here is why for me its hard for like one person ussually i end up with 5 crushes at once and yes ik that sounds crazy but you can easily like a lot of people but what makes us mature and seperates cheaters from non cheaters is that we have restraint and cheaters dont

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

And for fuck's sake Grow Up and try starting acting your age. smh

[HelpfulWoman]

eh, unless the app has a friend finder section, then to me it would be classed as cheating as you're knowingly putting in effort to download and set up a profile on a dating app.

[HelpfulWoman]

your responses and such read as troll though.

[BadApple69]

No. Curiosity is not cheating. Cheating is cheating and just today. I was writing about emotional cheating, which means no physical just emotional. that too can be considered cheating by some.

[MemeSupreme]

people usually consider using them cheating bc most of the time they'd only download it for cheating

if they never found out and you did nothing wrong then it's not cheating

[MemeSupreme]

so you're fine

[MannMitAntworten]

I read you downloaded the app after exclaiming your relationship is over to him. No, it is not cheating.

[Asker]

Yes but I had told him that many times and kept living with him and dating him again so he prolly didn’t believe it was over until I moved out.

[Asker]

Can I message you?

[MannMitAntworten]

Yes you may.

[Asker]

It won’t let me you will have to message me

[MannMitAntworten]

You will have to follow me first might be why. Try that.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Reddit isn't a dating app
Talking about abuse isn't cheating.
Answering questions about your sexuality isn't cheating.

[Asker]

Thanks!!

[Asker]

And Reddit isn’t a date app no but I actually downloaded one and deleted it.

[Asker]

I have left him though since that.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Good :) you shouldn't put up with abuse

[Spencer10]

No thats not cheating. But you have to ask yourself why you downloaded it in the first place.

[Asker]

I was mad and told him it’s over and did it right after but was still living with him. He was very abusive and I was mentally checking out. I have left him though.

[Spencer10]

Well then that does not sound like cheating at all... sounds like its over anyway.

[Asker]

I talked to people online about the abuse and wanted advice and shared details. I also stupidly answered a sexual question when I should have shut that down. I had no romantic or sexual interest. Is that cheating?

[alice55]

Not cheating but not good behavior either this time you deleted it but another one? Will you keep it 20 min?

[Nikki1989]

It wasn't cheating, but you were on the road to it.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't call it cheating but it definitely says something is very broken in your relationship. Because you were thinking about it. Thinking about it enough to take action.

[Asker]

I was mentally abused and checking out. Never have cheated before and did things out of character.

[fish5505_87]

You're thinking about cheating, just break up, or go to couple's therapy! Or, hope to get away with it?

[Asker]

I did break up. He was very abusive and I did things not character of me at all.

[fish5505_87]

Good, move on and enjoy your life, you probably are a great person with a lot to offer! Cheers!

[Asker]

Thank you!

[fish5505_87]

Of course (Your Welcome) seems to be what everyone younger than me is saying now!

[Asker]

Saying what?

[fish5505_87]

Of course, instead of Your welcome, lol

[glennos89]

It's not cheating but something is wrong if you are interested in downloading a dating app

[Anonymous]

No. If you’re being abused, reaching out for help is not cheating. In fact, you should get away from them as soon as you can.

[RedInnocent69]

No, but it does suggest you’re conflicted about/in your relationship

[Asker]

I got out. He was abusive.

[RedInnocent69]

You made the right choice then. Don’t feel guilty about it

[kaucky1]

Not at all but obviously you not even satisfied or not even happy🙃😬🤨

[Asker]

I’m doing better I’m getting the help and assurance I need. Thanks!

[Asker]

And I left him.

[nicfire171]

It’s on the cusp of cheating and it shows there’s the potential of cheating. Why did you download it

[Asker]

Because I was mentally abused in the relationship and very weak and checking out. I have never cheated before.

[nicfire171]

Oh okay. Did you break it off?

[Asker]

Yes I did

[nicfire171]

Good. I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m happy you got out of that situation

[Asker]

Thank you

[nicfire171]

No problem

[Asker]

I confided in people on Reddit and sought help. I wasn’t looking to meet anyone. No romantic or sexual interest. However, I mistakenly answered a sexual question about myself. Is that cheating? I just was not in the right state of mind.

[nicfire171]

I don’t think so. You weren’t looking to get anything like that out of it

[Asker]

Thank you. You have helped me.

[nicfire171]

I’m glad. You can dm me if you have any more questions

[Asker]

It says you don’t take DMs

[nicfire171]

Weird. You can follow me then I’ll message you

[Asker]

I followed you

[Account]

Right on the verge of it.

[StevenMcGarrett]

No, because you are being abused. Trying to escape does not make you a bad person.

[lorenzomichael]

If you’re not married, it’s all good. But cheating is only cheating if you get caught remember that.

[wkhan_87]

Only answering a question is not a cheating i think.

[Sleephazard]

Were you working towards it?
It wasn't cheating, but it's not a good sign.

[molonski2]

Quite obviously NO.

[Asker]

I created a profile though. But then deleted it.

[chrissykerdock]

no it's not you made it

[elizamichale1]

Are u really serious?

[Asker]

Yes people are saying the intent is there so yes

[elizamichale1]

Oh come onnn... anyone saying that n telling u its cheating is crazzyyyyy

[Asker]

Thank you. And I wouldn’t have followed through with anything or contacted anyone. I felt guilty for simply downloading it after an argument in which I told him it was over yet I still lived with him.

[elizamichale1]

All I can say is... you are just a sweet sweeeeet sweeeeet angel honey n plzzzzzz dont feel any guilt u haven't done anything wrong

[Asker]

Thank you so much

[elizamichale1]

Have fun honey n dont worry about it okk

[Asker]

Okay I’ll try

[elizamichale1]

😊😊

[Mrtcn01]

it is not but it is an attempting to cheat

[Becky93]

If it become emotional and your hiding it.

[FreyaRed]

No...

[Agape93]

No but almost

[DrPepper12]

No. Not at all

[jahaims]

Yeah

[Osborne775]

No its not

[Lilly1979]

If you act on it.

[Rohaan2020]

Nope

[Anonymous]

No it's not.