Dating

Is he actually busy with work, trying to let me down easy, or playing games?

I’ve been seeing this guy for about two months. Around the one-month mark, he brought up that he thought I was acting jealous and said he didn’t see things working out long-term. It felt completely out of the blue—we were literally just making plans that day when he said it. He mentioned that some of the questions I’d ask him, like whether he was still out or if he’d gone into the office, reminded him of an ex who was very jealous and with whom things ended badly.


He tends to see things in very black-and-white terms. Still, we talked it through, cleared up the miscommunication, and moved past it. I was definitely hurt that he tried to end things so abruptly, but I really liked him—and I know I can sometimes come across the wrong way—so I wanted to give it another chance.


Just the other day, he planned this really nice dinner. Honestly, I thought he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. After dinner, we went for a walk, and he opened up about how he’d just found out he’d missed two big things at work and was falling behind. He’s an associate lawyer at a big firm, and the job is extremely demanding. He said he’ll likely be working 10-hour + days, six days a week, for the next few months—plus, he has a nearly two-hour commute each day. He said he had just made the decision that day.


I told him I’d be willing to work around his schedule, that he could crash at my place when he’s tired (I live near his office), but he didn’t seem open to that. Instead, he said he really likes me and that we can see each other again when he moves closer or when things settle down at work.


Now I’m left wondering if he’s being honest. We had a great connection—at least from my perspective—but this hot-and-cold behavior feels confusing. It could be genuine—right person, wrong time—or it could be him letting me down easy or playing games. Is right person, wrong time, a real thing? I’d really appreciate a third-party perspective.

Is he actually busy with work, trying to let me down easy, or playing games?
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