I’m a bit afraid admitting that I feel very behind the rest of my peers when it comes to relationships/dating. I actually recently got asked out on my first ever date so I’m really excited about that, I admitted to them that it was the first time I had ever been asked out on a date and they were surprised by my answer which kinda left me feeling ashamed. Don’t most people start dating around my age, I didn’t think I was that much of a late bloomer but now I’m second guessing?
There was another time similar happened when the guy that serves me and mom frequently when we go out to eat breakfast had asked me if I had a boyfriend a few days after valentines and I said no and he was also surprised when I said that which was even more embarrassing even tho I know he probably didn’t mean it in any type of negative way. I’m more of a reserved person so I have a difficult time making friends let alone talking to guys?
I kinda lucked out with finding the guy I’m talking to now lol - we met online, both had common interested, started talking, realized we both live about an hour away from eachother and he asked me out on a date !
Would you judge someone negatively for being inexperienced?
Hi. I don't think we've ever interacted, but I've definitely seen you around. I know nothing about you, aside from the fact that you're a fairly reserved person, and you seem nice (as far as I can tell).
I am happy to hear that you have yourself your first date! That's exciting (sincerely).
I think you have misinterpreted why he was surprised that it was your first date. First of all, you're not a late bloomer.
Some people start dating before your age, many don't. Some people start considerably later. You are not a late bloomer for not having any experience. You're just about regular (as you suspected).
It is not a problem at all to have no experience. No guy is going to think anything less about you because of this.
You have totally misinterpreted the two surprised reactions at finding out you didn't have a boyfriend, and that this was your first date.
You are assuming that a guy is surprised in a bad way.
Quite the opposite.
The guy who asked if you had a boyfriend, was surprised that you didn't... simply because it seemed surprising that a girl like you, wouldn't have been 'snapped-up' by some guy or another.
It's a compliment. It's surprised because he assumes guys would be asking you out all the time. It's a surprise that such a catch would still be single and (presumably) a available.
Same thing with the guy you're talking to.
He asked you out because he is attracted to you (looks and personality). He is surprised that nobody before him, has seen you the way he does. That makes sense. If you like someone, you think they're great. So he's wondering: "how has nobody else asked this great girl out on a date before now?"
None of it is bad surprise. Again, it's a compliment. He is surprised you haven't had more attention paid to you by other guys.
He feels nothing negative about your lack of experience. At all.
You don't need to worry about the lack of experience thing at all. I know you may feel ill-equipped to navigate all of this because it's all brand new. You are more equipped than you think.
The thing to keep in mind, is that this guy is every bit as nervous and excited about this as you are. He is just as worried about making a good impression on you. Don't worry about the experience thing. Trust your instincts, and you'll be great.
I hope you have a great time on your date, and that things work out.
Congratulations. Be safe in the knowledge you are not alone. Go on it with a curious and inquisitive mindset but also pay close attention to the way they treat you and what the intent is behind their words. A good person will treat you gently and respectfully without pushing boundaries too far.
Would I judge inexperience? No, but i would hope they were also curious and inquisitive. That they have reservations and boundaries they may be afraid to breach. My wife was like this when we first met and I was humbled and honoured to be the one who earned her trust enough to make what is now a 21 years relationship.
You’re only 19. Wait until you’re 30 or so. It’s normal or rather common outside the promiscuous countries of the world to be inexperienced at that age. Nothing too rare. Many are virgins at that age. America makes it look like a big deal because kids as young as 13 are having multiple relationships and lots of sex instead of focusing on studies and maturing in life. The primary goal is looking good and getting sex. In my country, it’s INCREDIBLY COMMON even today to find a virgin until the age of 22-23. It’s not some “rare treasure”
The truth? It depends on how old we're talking about. Men will always value girls with less experience. However, when you get to the age of 30+, it could start signalling a few things...
1) You're too picky with your choices and think too highly of yourself, never letting any guy get physically close with you. At that point, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.
2) Your parents were extremely strict with you growing up, and never let you date. They condemned it and now you have a negative outlook on dating.
3) You're not very attractive in some form or way, whether it's physically or personality-wise.
4) You're scared to get close with someone and have intimacy
None of those options are really attractive and that's why if you don't have ANY experience at 30+ years old, it starts to become a little suspicious.
You're 19 though. You're very young and you do not have that issue.
I would definitely not judge someone for being inexperienced. My first relationship was as a freshman in college. My circumstances are slightly different than most, but still all the same.
You have nothing at all to be Embarrassed about is actually a beautiful thing if someone is judging you. They don't know youn be you. Believe me your oerfect
Not usually, but it somewhat depends on why she's inexperienced.
I judge women way more for being experienced but still somehow having these braindead or clueless responses to situations with men, like they haven't gone through the situation before.
Like, if you've had a 5-year relationship before and you're still totally caught off guard when I don't immediately respond to your text in the middle of the work day... I'm sorry, but I have to judge you just a little bit for that.
I wouldn't judge you negatively as a person at all. But I'm not willing to put up with an inexperienced woman for a long time now unless she's willing to throw herself into getting some experience. I'm just not gonna hold your hand and tell you it's all right while you waste 5 years of my life with indecision. Been there done that. Never again.
You know , i heard this stated another way I know a guy through my ex girlfriend, I know he's fucked anything he could hold still, , but he turned down a blind date with a friend who's drop dead gorgeous, works , owns her home, because her body count was too high.,... wait for it, body count 6 age 34, I welcome experienced people I don't get the double standard. so any of you sluts out there get rejected, let me know, I'll send you a plane tocket
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Anonymous
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Only in a positive way, and it's nothing to be ashamed about. People expressing surprise you don't have a partner is just an indication that they think you're a catch!
I have fond memories of an inexperienced woman in her late 20s, from a lifetime ago. I shouldn't have let her go.
Nah, you're only 19, I doubt anybody is looking negative at your lack of experience.. Maybe it could be that you look a certain way and that that could be the reason they are so surprised..
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