Do you prefer to date someone super similar to you, or are you a firm believer in "opposites attract"?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think it’s different for everyone… and I think it depends on what aspect we’re talking about…


I think that there has to be both a lot of the time. There definitely needs to be a joint that both enjoy (or at least one pretends to enjoy) with a cousin, he did DnD tournaments with the guys. Someone brings a cute friend because she wants to learn… and they meet and start dating. Now, whether she saw him or met him somehow and pretended like she wanted to learn in order to see him more, no one is saying.


I don’t really have much experience long term with different types of relationships to know what really works for me. Though I would make an educated guess that I’d need someone who could respect my weirdness even if she didn’t do things that way herself… someone who appreciated my talents - someone who wouldn’t constantly put me down for liking the things I like… being cool with me having inspiration at 3 am and working late or knowing how to help with my quirks or make things better by knowing what’s really going on in that brain of mine. I think there WOULD have to be at least one major thing that we had in common (let’s say like a hobby) where we could both spend lots of quality time. But I don’t think we’d have to come across as a perfect match in almost every way to succeed in a relationship.

[Stevepro68]

Humans are hardly emotionally, psychologically or physical contiguous. The idea that someone is an opposite or similar is a mental judgement call on the observers part. for example my girlfriend is a short Asian Latina mix ESL, speaks 8 languages retired SW. She is lactose intolerant and has little education background. I am 20 years older, over 6 foot whitest white guy you ever want to meet. I speak English and understand some Spanish. I am graduate educated medical professional. She is up late and I am up early. She hates crowds and I love going out. She is constantly cold I sleep with window open in February... But.. We are 2 divorced people with 18 year old kids. We love watching movies, has exactly the same sense of humor. We love trying out new foods, we talk endlessly for hours and lose time. We are exactly matched for sexual energy and the need for alone time. We share many similar thoughts about love, sex, politics and family. We both love the fact that we just can't get away with lying to each other so we just get to tell the truth even when it's bad. We are both very accepting and non judgmental.

So my point is the similarities or differences are subjective for most couples. A better way to think about it is what qualities are deal makers or deal breakers for your relationships? in my opinion

[DishLady]

Some core aspects should be similar, but it’s nice to have someone a little different than you are. For instance, someone with the same values is essential but one of you may have a bit more boisterous humor (or sarcastic streak) from the other.

[Caroline91]

For me foundational beliefs need to be the same or very similar. After that, it’s differences that keep things interesting. We learn a lot from each other and try things out that we might not otherwise.

[Summeroflove]

As for me personally verses what I think overall. Without getting too personal about myself in sone cases opposites attract can complement one another a introvert and a extrovert for instance can in some cases make a great couple and bring the other side of someone out.

In other cases such as major political differences or religious a lot of times that’s never going to work. Now a relationship is different for every person and couple. So what may work for one person may work for another and vice versa where what may not work for someone works for someone else.

A lot of people push too hard whst they’re wanting and what works for them.

[HawkPerception]

I'm a strong believer that compatibility doesn't exist without similarities. The more similarities in terms of views, interests, sense of humor, goals aligning, sexual chemistry, etc, the better. The more differences there are, the more likely there is to be conflict and have an unsuccessful relationship.

[Finchie40]

The more similar the better , it’s better to be with someone that actually enjoys a lot of the same things you enjoy so you both don’t get bored of each other

[michalpl00]

Both in a way these are non negotiables.
She has to be the opposite of me. I want her to be feminine, submissive and soft and gentle.


But out morals and views must be the same. I will never date a party girl again. I believe that’s for single people. Respect is impossible for me. Another example guy friends. If I will not have any other girls in my life because I believe its respectful and right to do. She can't have other men in her life. This is non negotiable. My mom is not a hoe both my parents are loyal. So i would never have a girl friend out side of the relationship. Maybe at work. But not in private life. My response is no sorry I have a girlfriend. I want my girlfriend to say the same. Sorry I have a boyfriend. I don’t want to hear. He is just a friend, like a brother to me, he is gay. Idc. My view of loyalty respectful behavior. Goes both ways. Because i don’t need validation and attention from other girls. I got called controlling and insecure. But i am a secure man that is willing to risk the relationship to adress my needs and open up. I don’t want control. Hangout with anyone you want. Do what you want when you want. But within the realm of respect. Guys out of the picture. If they are I will look for a woman who shares these values.

[exitseven]

I married somebody who is so similar to me that it is almost hard to believe ans so far so good.

I dated somebody who was very unlike me and I think that was the attraction. It was fun at first but soon it was turning into a train wreck

[GallopAcrossEurope]

My girlfriend is very much like me - similar on habits and hobbies because it makes it easier for both of us to understand each other, as well as doing something that we both like which helps us bond. It's been three years and I only love her more so it's definitely been working out for us.

[Makeushiver]

There is nothing emotional physical or psychological that can describe what people like in someone else. People on here frequently ask about size of body, height, tits, eyes and it's not building a Chevy. It's a person all of whom have idiosyncrasies. I swoon over attractive slender redheaded women with green eyes but I'm sure there are plenty that I couldn't stand being around despite having my favorite characteristics

[LazerBean]

The more similar your interests, goals, and beliefs the better. My husband and I pretty much enjoy and agree on everything, which makes everything extremely fun and easy.

Of course, for problematic people that would not be true.

[Kingofkings1992]

Agreeing on everything is impossible, unless you’re not human

[LazerBean]

True, that's why I said "pretty much"

[KostasKouvalis]

We definitely need to be similar in terms of interests and values otherwise we won't get along and it will be boring. But opposite in terms of personality. I'm very bossy and have a short temper, so if I date someone like me, we will definitely clash and have problems. I've also come realize that I need someone with an opposite lifestyle. I'm book smart, but I lack independence and street smarts. I've learned from experience that if you try to date someone the same, you will get nowhere.

[MannMitAntworten]

I have never really been involved with someone “super similar” to me. I have been involved with some where we shared ‘some’ similarities. Those were the longer lasting more successful relationships. There isn’t anyone around who is super similar to me in my region to consider. I live in the land of artsy hippy lesbians which already make the options very limited even with the complete opposites.

[Iron_Man]

I want a girl that keeps her word when she makes a promise she backs it up not empty promises. I want a girl that shares my same religious believes and is a good strong character like me and loyal and faithful strong willed. As far as opposites attract that’s fine for Looks but if she’s got a strong, kind-heart like me and is trustworthy than she’s a keeper

[beenherebefore]

In my case opposites attract do not work. I prefer if we have similar beliefs and a calm personality. I'm such an introvert I couldn't date someone who's the life of the party or the main character I could not keep up.

[Razp_Sorbet]

I think it's important to have some similar interests so you can bond over things and enjoy things together but it's also really important to be able to have your own thing and be able to have a hobby away from your partner.

[serious]

Although I never want to date. However, to answer your question hypothetically I would certainly go for a woman who is super similar to me as I believe that is best for compatibility.

[Apple1996]

I prefer complete opposites. It's works out better that way so we can both teach each other new things and keep the relationship interesting. Being too alike is boring

[Screenwriter]

I think people should be complementary. I don't want someone exactly like myself. Differences make the world go round!

[Anonymous]

I prefer opposite to me but complimentary. Having same goal following same path together but helping each other complimenting each other's weakness by their own strength. And that's how we get more stronger together.

[RageBabe]

Similarly, it works out better long-term, in my experience; thankfully, my partner and I are very similar.

[RavVid]

You need to have some basics that are the same:- morals ethics and life vision but after thatyou can be opposites

[Bricealan]

My current love interest is hand-in-glove with me but for her religious conviction. I have very little "Faith"

[NicholasRedone]

Super similar 😋😛 yet feminine. And female. And sweeter and kinder 😁🎩 and submissive where as im dominant lol

[Sluttt]

I like similar hobby and food choices. I think i like familier face too. I watch movies and holliwood faces are familier. It took a while to adjust blue eyes but i dont mind. Some radical differences are surprising but doable.

[Anonymous]

What? Someone super short, fiery, ginger with a temper?

No I need someone that compliments my strengths and compensates for my many weaknesses like my husband does.

[LiamS95]

I'm here waiting for you

[Opinion Owner]

@LiamS95 it's still not acceptable to be Canadian in social situations despite the great strides Canadians like Justin Bieber have made.

[sawno]

Super similar, the more we have in common the better. Opposites doesn't work.

[Flower7]

I like people who are similar to me. I don’t think that having things in common is ever a bad thing

[FreyaRed]

Emotionally similar, psychologically different

[DancingQueen16]

Someone similar because me and my partner are really similar we like a lot of the same things

[itsannalee]

The person who can complete me, not the same as me. Because i am not perfect, and luckily i got 1.

[Crankor]

Some similarities but it may not be very interesting if they were too much alike. I don't feel it's as distinguished to say either opposite or the same.. just depends on what appeals to you

[Babygirl_S]

Opposites don’t attract in my case. I stay away from those who aren’t compatible with me. For example, if he’s a man slut I am actually not interested

[slatyb]

Similar in values, enough in common that we have something to talk about.

[BDRick]

That's a common misnomer that opposites attract; rather, they repel.

So naturally you see what my answer is, similarity wins (every time)

[ProbablyClueless]

In my own life, opposites have attracted far more often than strong similarities.

[Pudsmucker]

I've dated and married a person a direct opposite of me. We keep each other in check. It makes life quite interesting also.

[Anonymous]

Opposites do not attract. People who say that are lying to themselves because they want it to work out. They're forcing a square peg into a round hole.

[DCVsMarvel2]

You shouldn't be a carbon copy, but, you shouldn't also be so different that you're fighting constantly. I would rather be single, than miserable

[Simslover92]

Someone similar to me.

[Likes2drive]

From experience. I think it works better if they are similar to, you

[Catailian94]

Mostly, similarities, some differences cause arguments might be each other throats.

[LiamS95]

I like to explore other personalities. Dm me do I can e pore you

[LiamJHayden]

As long as she is fun and brings peace I do not care.

[jahaims]

It's moronic to have a partner you don't have things in common with

[Anonymous]

I would never date someone who is similar to me, because I'm submissive, I like dominant girls.

[dragoblack]

I prefer dating someone i vibe with, which are crafters and nerds.

[Anonymous]

I’ve noticed most women date up. They hear from social media that the world owes them everything and they don’t have to have anything bought to the table.

[chocolatetwopointo]

similar, thats why ill never find one, bc im too scared to talk to strangers

[Panthero80]

Maybe opposite interests, but you need similar values.

[Godihateyou]

I hate me. I wouldn't be caught dead with anyone even remotely like me.

[Professor-college]

I would prefer to date someone who is similar but it's likely different and certain aspects

[Adrian2025]

There is no fixed rule, it can be both for me.

[alice55]

I think similar is better in the long run

[Hellfireandcandy]

I need the opposite I'm too controlling lol

[BonzoInBitburg]

Opposite but with similar goals

[4ngelic]

i prefer someone similar

[thegreenyogi]

I'd be happy to date both honestly.

[MikeTheBartender]

I've never met a woman similar to me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Mentally the same.

[Babebytheshore85]

Similar but still independent of me

[Massageman]

Surely there MUST be a happy medium - - - - - -

[WonderingManII]

Some similarities are needed.