Confused 10 years later after my first love?

[Anonymous]

Back in 8th grade, my first love moved into my school district, and that’s when we met. From the day we met, we instantly clicked—we talked constantly through FaceTime, Snapchat, and texting. That was 10 years ago. We never officially dated, but everyone around us always thought we were together. It was more like a thing we had on and off—not in a toxic way, it just never fully worked out, and honestly, I’m not even sure why. After graduating high school, we did sleep together a few times, but still never defined anything. I think we were both too young and maybe afraid to hurt each other since we didn’t have relationship experience. Now, 10 years later, after graduating college, he still texts me first to hang out and snaps me all the time. We’ve even been sharing our locations with each other for a decade. When we’re both home visiting, he always makes the first move to hang out, compliments me, and introduces me to his new friends. I really enjoy being around him—our chemistry is still there, and the comfort between us feels effortless. But lately, I’ve been feeling confused. I don’t think this is just a hookup thing—sometimes we hang out without hooking up at all. Our families love each other, and everything seems to line up… except we’ve never actually labeled what we are. That didn’t bother me when we were younger, but now that we’re adults, I’m starting to feel like I need clarity. Should I bring this up next time we hang out in person? Like, just ask him what we’re doing and where this is going? Or should I just keep going with the flow? I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it, but I also don’t want to keep hanging on if it’s not leading anywhere. Any thoughts? or similar experiences? Or advise for what I should do next about this relationship?

[Alex-Snow]

U bring up some good points. U both are at points in ur life where one starts to look at career issues, maybe marriage/kids etc. I think it would be good to sit down with him IRL and ask each other what u both want out of the relationship. Is the sex with him any good and hookups still might be fun for a while?

[Asker]

Yes exactly what I was thinking I will ask irl, just nervous lol I have always had weird commitment issues and if nothing with him I’m fine with a friendship. The sex is really good honestly the best I’ve ever had in my life lol I don’t know if bc we have had such a deep emotional connection for so long or didn't have sex until we were adults and just really had that built up tension. But I would also be fine w a hookup at this point😂 j bc honestly I’m horny asf but I hate admitting it and I don’t want to text him for a hookup and solidify it being just a hookup bc maybe I do want something In the future still so I don’t want to make it too easy for him. But we always said and literally said the last time we seen each other that we’ll get married someday just when we’re both ready and I’m not ready for marriage at this point but I’m ready for a relationship that leads too it. But I need to get this off my chest I’m just so nervous.

[Alex-Snow]

Good for you and good plan. I'm glad to hear that you have had some great sex with him and have shared some great orgasms. I am assuming he is your age also and likes to have sex as much as any younger guy. Message me if u ever want to chat more about it or want a guys perspective

[Asker]

Aw thanks I am glad the sex is good too that’s a massive long term check mark for me. & Yes we are the same age 23, but thank you for your help! I will message you if I need advice again ! Are you going to school for psychology? lol bc I needed this ! Tyty :)

[Alex-Snow]

I'm in pre med at the moment and still a horny soon to be 20 yr old. Pls stay in touch!!!