Do you believe that you should be financially stable when you date?

Question

contentious · Accepted Answer

You're at were you're at. Either women are going to be OK with that or there not. If you're trying to build yourself up to some imaginary standard you think women will be happy with, then you're playing yourself. Women are never happy. So don't go chancing pipe dreams. If you have your shit together in your own mind, that doesn't mean your shit will be together once she enters your life. Something like 85% of consumer spending is done by women. This means women are spending men's money considering women as a group earn 20% less than men due to their reduced hours and responsibility. They earn 44% of the money in a household on average, but spend 85% of it. That means she is spending 73.2% of your income. So unless you have your shit together on 26.8% of your income, then she's going to put you in debt. She's going to make you financially unstable. You will end up with mortgages, home equity loans, car loans, credit card debt, and so on if you ever get serious with her. Just work toward what you want your life to be, and the women that are OK with whatever that happens to be, will be the ones that will stick around for a while, but if they do stick around then expect to become financially unstable and stressed out until you kick the bucket from cancer or heart disease.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

I feel that the most sensible amongst us would want to be financially stable at the point of dating but this assumes an understanding of what it means as well as being at a stage in life that your in direct control of your own financial dependency.

There is however a great proportion of people that may likely never be considered financially stable , so are we then saying these should also be destined to be undateable?

What obout theconsideration that love and being loved could be perceived to be multiple times more valuable than monetary wealth or present income?

Surely in union we come together and stay together “for better or for worse” , wouldn’t that be a contradiction in terms if we only date those that are financially viable?

Being a romantic , financial viability or attaining financial stability before dating doesn’t fit with my values. Who a person is in their heart , and what they then have to offer at an emotional level has significantly more value to me and I would happily share my finances in return.

ChristianMaeTorres · Accepted Answer

Depends. Not every time I date, do I expect it to last. If your dating to marry then I mean it would be better that one of you is stable and I mean stable enough and okay with or wants to be the bread winner and bring home the bacon and cook it. Not all men are the same or desire the same qualities in a woman. Its a case by case type of thing in my opinion. If your dating just to see what your options are then that's different or just to get out there and have some fun. I'm not dating expecting it to be forever every time I date so I don't have those kinds of set in stone standards because I just am looking for something fun, I'll take it serious but not have expectations for the future. Gotta see what is out there for me before I were to have those kinds of expectations. My long term expectations are different than my short term expectations. Short term is fun and intense and fire chemistry, long term is probably more based in realistic and responsible expectations and potential for that long run.

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

Date? No.
Move in together? Yes.

When there aren't shared bills then one person's financial habits shouldn't impact the other person. While obviously more money usually afford more activities/luxuries, it doesn't really affect whether or not quality time is spent getting to know each other.

When two people are deciding to move in together, then yes they should both be financially stable or have reached a set agreement on the roles that each will play (example: provider/homemaker etc.) The only exception to moving in together might be if the rent is otherwise free (aka a couple is moving from a relatives basement while they are becoming financially stable or finishing school). In this case, the shared bills are minimal and are similar to the dating phase rather than the real costs of being independent adults.

HawkPerception · Answer

I don't believe love should be based on material possession. Imagine you have incredible compatibility/chemistry with someone, but then you pass them up because they're not financially stable. Why the hell would you do that? That's a dumb move.

Money is a human made concept. It was never needed for love. It has brainwashed the majority into thinking it is needed to be with someone though.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Absolutely not. Especially as a man, it’s impossible to tell if a woman likes you or what you provide. It makes sense to only date when you’re broke, or date as if you are broke. Weed out those gold diggers.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It helps, but it is not essential.  I had no money when I met my husband, and he didn't have a job, but we worked on it and we are both now doing very well.

Lliam · Answer

Fuck no. I was dating in high school when I still lived with my parents.
I was 16 when I got together with my first girlfriend. I had a part time job and a car, that was it.
I wasn't financially stable until I was around 28 years old, about a year and a half after getting a high-paying career job. But by then, I had already had four, long-term girlfriends. It's not like I was planning to get married just because I had girlfriends.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Yes. It's pretty hard to date without money and time. And the other person probably has expectations. No job and no money probably on their wish list for a long term relationship partner. Why would it be? Hence why successful people who demonstrate ambition will always do better than flat broke people working hourly wage jobs in retail. Don't like that reality? It doesn't matter. The world is not gonna conform to your needs. You're gonna have to make some changes in yourself. Or not.

Texasgal95 · Answer

I mean, I think you should be financially stable before you even get in a relationship because if you’re not financially stable, it’s gonna make a lot of things hard and if you’re considering marriage, you wanna be financially stable to be responsible with your money and do those adult things that you need to do Like have your own place and what not

NicholasRedone · Answer

@extraterrestrial1999 yeah I think it's so crappy when people date and they can't even afford to - like folks ought to have a job, a car, a house (or a apartment of their own) to come back to lol 😆 😄 like it just looks so "povo" otherwise 'poverty, slang for poor"

RavVid · Answer

I think it depends on age. At 18 you can't be expected to have a lot of money. At 28 you could be expected to have a good job and to have accumulated some wealth.

In Cleopatra's day girls were married at first menses but men had to wait till they could afford to support a family. I think that aspect will always play out.

Anonymous · Answer

i don't think you need to be financially stale when you date.

Plenty of broke women date and marry broke men.

But if you are trying to go for an educated woman with a decent career, there is almost no chance she would want you.

date on your own level, you would have fewer problems.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Until I can Take care of myself I have no business getting involved with someone who can. ONS, friends with benefits, NSA & situation ships are fine

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Yeah, I want to be in good standing before I actually start looking again.

MrChinaski · Answer

I think it is irresponsible to have children if you aren't financially stable. You can date anyone, any time regardless of your financial situation.

WhitneySnow · Answer

It really helps but I get if you’re broke and you fall in love and they feel the same way. Just harder to deal with the practical stuff if neither of you has any money.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

If I believed that my youth would have been much more boring lol

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

if ur broke, the only thing you should be focusing on is urself and ur economy, not on getting laid

exitseven · Answer

No, but if you are not, don;t expect too much success.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know why you'd WANT to date if you weren't financially stable yet. I mean I get wanting to date. But it probably shouldn't be your focus at that point.

Staximus · Answer

Financially stable enough to buy a woman dinner and still be able to pay rent

LiamJHayden · Answer

I've never not been so I have no frame of reference.

jahaims · Answer

There are always outliers but it is a good rule of tumb

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

Yes, I do You can't date, with no money

SolitarySolace · Answer

Love isn’t and should never be a transaction…

Anonymous · Answer

Real love can work in different ways.

Anonymous · Answer

No girl will ever date a poor boy

WonderingManII · Answer

Ideally yes.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Yes.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely

Do you believe that you should be financially stable when you date?

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Do you believe that you should be financially stable when you date?

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