People who have struggled with dating, how do you know if its a you thing (something about you isn't all that), compared to it just being bad luck?

[Anonymous]

[Summeroflove]

Struggling with dating can be completely normal even for someone who is attractive inside and out. Because finding the right person can be a struggle. Dealing with the dark personalities. Dealing with great people who just aren’t compatible. Being cheated on. Being used.

Finding someone who you genuinely enjoy spending time with

[AviatorTom]

You don't know that and never will. If you want to date, keep at it. You will eventually succeed.

Many people fail at dating because they set their standards too high. Remember that we are all human, no one is perfect.

[DishLady]

You need to do regular self assessments and continually work to improve yourself regardless of your dating status…


You’ll know it’s not a “you thing” if you know how to evaluate yourself in a clear, fair light.

[DishLady]

Sometimes it’s not so much a trait you have but the fact that you pick a date bc of ONE appealing trait without evaluating the date more thoroughly for compatibility with you.

[Kelley1]

The reasons are high or unrealistic standards, or else, it is better not to date than to date someone who is available.

[Avicenna]

I'd imagine it's a mix of factors

[Anonymous]

It's hard to say. I've struggled. But I can say not all of it is me (though often I'm made to feel like it IS entirely my fault). Not all of it is women. I have a life that's no longer conducive to dating.

I'm also in an area and culture that would never be interested in a guy like me. And they're rude around here, if you're not someone they can "use." they have little interest in putting much effort into caring about you at all. Kindess just feels like "Ok, I'm being paid to be kind" or "it's expected of me to be kind, so I'll pretend..." or "Hey, I might get a "friend" who I can butter up and I'll have him around for when I move in a month, then I can go back to ignoring him..." It rarely feels genuine.

I'd like to move out of state, maybe that would make things a little better... but I don't know if I can any time soon, and I don't know if that's just a US thing all over, so when I move, I'll have the same problems... or if it's something where I live (like so many months of winter weather makes them generally angry people or something...)

[Anonymous]

That's easy. There are 4 billion women on the planet. It's statistically impossible to be a YOU thing with every one of them. Either you're choosing the wrong women. Your effort is wrong. Possibly a mixture of the two. Or your sample size just isn't big enough.

Also let me just say, throw away bad experiences before 25. Young GIRLS have prince charming syndrome. And to a lot of YOUNG girls how you look can matter more than what you say. As girls grow into women most grow out of that. But there will be a percentage of women that will always be regressed in this area.

[Zack-Bann]

Easy:
You can only be unlucky so many times


If you’re consistently failing then there’s a missing piece.
You need to revamp your looks
And improve your charisma and social skills


It’s a never ending process


But once you begin to work on it the process becomes more and more fun

[Nikki1989]

It doesn't usually mean something is fundamentally “wrong” with you, but rather there might be patterns or areas for personal growth that are hindering your dating success.

[lightbulb27]

all that matters is you. either work on yourself or make changes. other people are finding people.

[Anonymous]

Ask. If a date isn't working out and she seems kind enough, ask for blunt honesty on things you need to work on. It will hurt but it will help make you better for the woman you are looking for.

[Pohjolan]

Well first of all where do you draw the line between you and luck?

Like you didn't get to choose your genetics but they are part you.