33M, living at home - Is it even worth trying?

[Anonymous]

I feel like the world is passing me by, I'm getting older, and I feel like I'm missing out. I'm 33M living at home with parents so I can afford to pay off debt. I work full time, have benefits, take care of my own appointments, and pay all of my own bills. I don’t pay rent. I need to get it out of the way up front - I don’t have what I would consider a great reason for being still at home, at my age. I’m not here taking care of a sick or elderly parent, both of my parents are in good health and work themselves. I’m here more out of a necessity because I made a series of bad financial decisions that just cascaded into a really bad financial situation.

My parents are amazing and are willing to let me crash here rent free as long as I am actively working the problem (paying off debt) and handle all of my own personal bills. Living at home is not an ideal situation but it is a financially smart move for me at the moment as I’m paying off debt. However, it has done a number on my self-esteem and pride, as I know that I should be out on my own by now. It's only made worse by the condition of no rent that I have to be back home by 11pm.

I ended up massing a large amount of debt totaling up over 70k (including personal loans, credit cards, student loans, and car) and became pinned down under the weight of the debt. I’d estimate that I’m about 18 months away (could be as little as 12 or as much as 24, depending on a couple of variables) from being able out from under all of it including the student loans and car note. Then I’m moving out.

My dad wants me to go to nursing school after my debt is gone to obtain a better paying job with more job security, but that would be another two years and I don't think I can stand living at home and being alone until 37. I have lived away from home before - five years at college, four of them in dorms and the fifth in an apartment.

Is it even worth trying or should I just keep my head down and keep grinding until I can move out?

[Vegasrunner]

Great post, and it's unfortunate about the situation your in, but you're doing the right thing. You need to understand that you're a man and once you get on your feet there will be plenty of women available. I have a buddy who was in a similar situation as you. He was in massive debt from medical school in his 30's, and lived with his parents. Now in his 40's he's a ER Dr and literally has a new 20 something yro girl every week. Just hang in there, your value only goes up as you age provided you do the work.

[Zack-Bann]

Use it


I moved out at 22 and just 5 years later I’m realizing that I’ve spent a fortune in rent


All that money without the rent would have changed my life


Use the opportunity to build a business.
Invest the money you would otherwise be spending on rent


You can eventually move out to a house you bought/built


I wish I had that privilege

[Anonymous]

Well go bankrupt on the debts you can so you can speed up moving on to your next steps. It's not going to do anyone any good for you to just keep paying into infinity. You can even go bankrupt on the student loans if you can show extreme hardship, which you clearly can. Bankruptcy is provided for in the Constitution. Just do it. At least talk to a bankruptcy lawyer and have them walk you through the process.

[DryGermanGuy]

He is clearly not under any hardship if he lives rentfree and anticipates to pay of his debts in two years or less.

[MzAsh]

You’re lucky. A lot of people are in your position but they still have rent to pay. Your parents aren’t going to be around forever. You need to learn good skill sets now, while you have an advantage. And don’t limit yourself to just nursing school. It takes a unicorn type of person to stick with nursing long term and maintain happiness.

[Avicenna]

Think long term and do what’s best for yourself in the long run. You can still date even living at home.

[Abbycado]

Worth trying what?

[Anonymous]

Not worth it

You have no hope

[Anonymous]

Worth trying what?

[guyinterested]

Have you considered filing bankruptcy?