What is it about truly nice guys that makes them unappealing to girls or is that really just a myth that girls love bad boys?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

From my own personal experiences with girls’ most of them like a nice guy, but a not so nice guy , meaning he doesn’t constantly kiss her ass , when a guy constantly kisses her ass , that’s a turn off to her for the most part , basically he isn’t a challenge to her , Most girls’ like a guy that she can look up to , not down to. Most girls’ I have dated liked that I was nice to her. but also liked that I didn’t tolerate her shit when she would argue or complain about something and she liked that I didn’t always try to fix her problems. When she was upset about something , but she liked that i listened to her , instead of trying to fix her and make it all better. Girls’ like to hear it’s going to be ok from her man , instead of oh baby let me make things all better for you. To her he sounds like a wimp. Most girls’ like being independent and like being with a guy that is independent as well , that listens to her but doesn’t try to fix her. I can’t tell you how many times a girl has argued with me and complained about things that were out of my control , I would just say , I’m sorry that is happening to you , or I’m sorry you are dealing with that nonsense , but shit happens etc. she would get upset about my comment. and walk away from me , but when she realized it wasn’t my responsibility to resolve her issues. she would eventually jump into my arms and apologize for her behavior. and most times she would want me to have sex with her as well, so it usually turns out that way lol I understand girls’ to a certain extent , but to completely understand a girl is impossible lol Most girls’ that I been with loved that I didn’t chase her , she liked being the chaser instead

silvermoon84 · Accepted Answer

Are you talking about actual genuinely nice guys who are just a little socially awkward or are you talking about the trademark “nice guys” who think women owe them something because they do something “nice” for us?

If it’s the latter, yes it’s a turn off, because you think those guys actually care about you but they really care more about dating, fucking or getting attention from you than they actually care about you. They also tend to be controlling. If you mean the former though, I don’t find them unappealing just a little socially awkward. Some of them come across as creepy and over excited but I think that’s because they don’t think “maybe she found it odd when you stuck your whole face right up into hers to get a glimpse of her eye color” and of course nobody tells them it’s odd and creepy, so they keep doing it because they really don’t know

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

The ‘nice’ guys I disliked were the ones who said they were nice but weren’t actually nice. They might buy you things, take you places or help you in some way but expect something in return. That’s not kindness, that’s an exchange lol. If you do something nice/kind it should be for the sake of not what you might get out of it.

Otherwise some genuinely good guys might be doormats. It’s a fantastic quality to be a good person, a lot of women like that myself included, but you need to have a backbone too. Have boundaries. Don’t let everyone walk all over you.

ohsheeT · Answer

You have 3 or 4 different types of guys.

And only a smart girl knows this

You have bad boys. That grew up with out a dad but had man guys in his life and got pick on all the time he hates women. Because he hate his mom we're going out with so many different guys allowing him to get beat up or picked on

Good girls love this type of guy because he's not afraid of anything the sad part is that she won't know he's a women hatter until it's to late
She wanted him because something happen to her when she was younger. And she wants to be protected.. But she's the one that ends up taking thefault p***For whatever happened with his mother and him

Then you have the quiet guy who doesn't say much. Nice guy but doesn't let to many people in he's good in every way and doesn't let anybody else see anything else

But what girls don't know? Is this guy's more of a bad a**Bad boy because he can take care of business with his girlfriend. His wife show her love respect and also a protector and can do anything else? Everything else the girls walked past him because they don't know that part of him

Then you just have the nice guy. That just likes to kiss a** be helpful.
And that's the guy that's girls. Don't really care for too much because that's all you can do.

The second guy looks like the third guy but it's completely different and nobody will know that until he gets pushed into a corner or.
He sees somebody getting picked on that can not protect themselves
But he stays quiet until it's time not to be quiet

There's a lot of girls that miss out on those guys

Summeroflove · Answer

Let’s say truly nice guys not the fake ones…. Bad women frankly those women are doing those men a favor because it’s better to be alone forever then with a woman whose after that. Trust me…. These women and those bad men get what they deserve later in life.

Are all women bad? The answer is no. Not being attracted to someone doesn’t equate to hating then as a human being. They just aren’t the right one.

Let me tell you something…. After these women have been used up. They want to settle down with a good man, who provides, who protects, who bails her out of all her bad life choices, and then go cheat on him with those same shitbag men. It’s NOT worth it men.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Only women can truly answer this question but I think there is some truth to it for a couple of reasons... Some Nice Guys aren't actually nice. Women have learned through experience that needy men who will do anything to please a woman aren't being nice because they are good men. They are actually creepy guys hoping to ingratiate themselves in return for sex or love. When that doesn't happen they can sometimes react like psychopaths. These "nice guys" are scary as hell". Women say they like to be pursued, right. And that's probably generally true. But women will also absolutely lose their mind over a guy they can't figure out who holds them at a distance and doesn't give them the time of day. Their curiosity triggers their compulsive behavior and they will do some crazy shit to pursue a guy who is both handsome (to them) and mysterious. Not knowing is a woman's Kryptonite.  I think they are more attracted to a guy they have to work for than a guy who doesn't require any effort at all. The inherent assumption is that these aloof "bad boys" are higher value than the guys who beg for a woman's attention.  The bad boy also generally isn't asking for anything from the woman. There's no implied request for sex or anything else. Where women get burned with "bad boys", who aren't actually all that bad most of the time, is that these guys get approached by women all the time. They have a lot of options. They really don't want anything from most women. They're just cruising through life having a good time.

diegomirandadom · Answer

Elas Tem Sim A Maior Chave Do Sucesso No Amor Verdadeiro 1A CORÍNTIOS 13:4-5 Fala Pra Ser Humildes No Amor! E Amar Incondicionalmente Sem Nem 1 Interesse! Ou É Isso Ou Vão Ficar Sozinhas Fato! Isaías4:1 e 13:12 se cumprindo Nunca vimos 2 a 10 moças com cara paralítico, doente e sem grana? O ou “beta, mediano, feio”? Na visão promíscua imunda preconceituosa? Má, superficial, cínica, oportunista, egoísta, imediatistas, sendo mau exemplo, pedra de tropeço, e provocando auto destruiçõés próprias e coletivas contra incontáveis vidas. Prova de Isaías 4:1, 13:12, 3:12 tá se cumprindo sobre quase todas elas. Toda promiscuidade advém de maldades, preconceitos, exclusões, superficialidades, cinismos, oportunismos, soberbas, covardias, interesses, egoísmos, imediatismos, podridões, pedras de tropeço, auto destruições próprias e coletivas contra incontáveis vidas.

Fora quê ser 1 cara hipotético ou 1 moça hipotética promíscuo (a)? É fácil? Só por 1 dia? Uma noite ou alguns dias? Quero vê ter a capacidade no Amor verdadeiro decente com respeitoso temente A DEUS? Segurar 1 relacionamento com Total Amor? Total Respeito? Total Fidelidade? Total Lealdade? Total Decência? Total Companheirismo, total compreensão? Total empenho e dedicação entre ambos? Pelos próximos 30? 40 anos? Por que abaixo de seguir a JESUS CRISTO, o segundo maior conselho que alerto pro máximo de rapazes e homens é: Se vocês tem saúde ou condições de sair do Bostil? Saiam! Porque o Brasil não é país pra gente decente, honesta, batalhadora, trabalhadora, que quer vencer pelos meios honestos. A própria polícia e a “justiça” aqui no Bostil é obrigada a defender bandidos, traficantes, pedófilos, estrupad*res, golpistas, caloteiros (as), oportunistas, corruptos (as), enganadores (as), charlatões até da “fé” e etc. Isaías 4:1, 13:12, 3:12 (3:1-12) se cumprindo sobre quase todas elas. #RealLife #RealBible #BadWorld

KBird · Answer

Growing up, and still to this day, I find bad boys enticing. One of the subjects that came up between my psychologist and I over the years was my taste in men. I would often date a nice-guy after being with a bad-boy, but it always felt like there was something missing. My psychologist made me aware that when growing up I wanted to be with someone who challenged me (and not in the right ways). I loved the chase. If I could get the bad-boy, then somehow in my mind, I had won. It was like being on a rollercoaster. I read this article that described exactly that, stating “It’s like being on an emotional roller coaster—you’re strapped in and ready to go.” This captures both the thrill and the unpredictability of dating someone with unstable, intense emotional patterns. It was like a drug. I found that I had red coloured glasses on during these relationships and was confusing "butterflies" with a "flight" reaction aka my intuition kicking in.

RavVid · Answer

A gal pal said to me "We like nice guys but don't respect them".

In one of the innumerable videos on dating icks, a girl said I ate from his plate and he didn't put me in my place - so no second date.

It is vital that a girl respects a man but the inverse just isn't true. A girl could be a complete air head and it wouldn't matter to me if her other attributes were good.

In fact there are very few people I respect and they have to be better than I am at a skill I respect. Of course skills I respect are masculine in nature because I'm a man.

I think there are evolutionary reasons for women's need to respect a man. They have always been more in a man's hand.

Women still say, without reserve, they want to feel safe with and protected by their man. They see nice guys as less capable in this respect and hence whilst they might like them, don't have respect and won't love them.

chihiro_21 · Answer

I think about this a lot. Because I briefly dated a guy who I described as “too nice” but I don’t think being nice was the problem. The problem was that being nice was his only personality trait. He made me feel cute, but not desired. He gave me little gifts and pats on the head, but he didn’t give me butterflies or a feeling of attraction. I think for me personally, I’m a shy girl, I want a guy to take the lead. I still want a nice kind man, but also a man who ain’t afraid to be assertive. Just because you’re nice doesn’t mean you can’t be assertive and masculine. Again the problem is the guys who are too nice and timid. I would also never go for a “bad boy” or someone who’s too nonchalant or rude or disrespects me.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I think a lot of woman are afraid of being seen with a guy who others might perceive as weak. And it leads to them "testing" the guy until it confirms their bias.

Personally, the moment I feel like a woman is shit testing me she goes into a completely different category. Like she'll probably never know anything truthful about me.

I have to be able to view us as friends, otherwise it will turn into some weird constant power dynamic which is exactly what a relationship is supposed to be about escaping.

Ask105 · Answer

I grew up in violence and fighting etc organizations once i embraced being Christian and changing my life a guy i can get violent extremely quick to doing a life sentence but i don't let women see that or i dont treat them like that maybe back in the day a little but its funny these women don’t know its a unnatural persona we take on smh. i show them love of Jesus now and these women really think DM and abuse is game or normal when i was around it as a child also wtf girls. when they go left i go right

Zack-Bann · Answer

It’s the lack of “challenge” that kills the spark
And the lack of boundaries that kills respect

There’s a difference between a nice guy and a good man, even though they sound similar

A nice guy is supplicating, he’s like a mirror, he will reflect back whatever you put in front of it.
His one purpose? Getting you to fall for him

A good man has character, boundaries, his own personality and his own world
And if he likes you he will invite you to step into that world
It will keep you on your toes, teach you new things, show you genuine demonstrations of affection with no expectation

It doesn’t necessarily need to be a “bad boy”
But bad boys tend to be good at this as well hence why they succeed in dating

Nice guys finish last not because women are evil. But because they put themselves last with their actions and behaviors

aceleon · Answer

it is reality, and it has both a psychological and evolutional basis.

psychological: he already gaves everything he has, there is no emotional reaction to be taken from, girls no matter what they say wants having emotional reactions bad or good is irrevelant, anger, fear or sadness is more emotionally situmilating than contentness.

evolutional: they are providers, they lack the dark triad qualities that gives the impression of being strong, females wants strong males to have babies from so their offsprings will be strong too, dark triad traids gives the impression of being strong even if not true for some cases, if you lack them you don't look strong even if you are and impressions is the halfway of every encounter.

aaron13547 · Answer

I think the problem with being nice is that like you said that shit gets old. I've been the nice guy before and it gets you taken for granted. Same as how we doom scroll on our phone and see funny things but the more we see the more it takes to make us laugh. Nice gets boring. I nice guy can be charming and confident and everything good but it still gets old cause there is never a surprise. Women want to be surprised. If you give anyone nothing but good the good becomes normal but throw some bad in there and shit stays interesting. Balance is key there's times to be good and a time to be bad. Intentions matter more then good and bad a lot of the time in this world it's about knowing that.

HighValue · Answer

The majority of women want drama and problems to deal with. If the man is good to them, loyal, honest, etc. they often find him boring. Also, if the man is too good to her, many women end up cheating, even if they have been together for years.

The majority of women frequently make bad decisions in life repeatedly so don't expect them to choose someone they would be happy with, expect them to choose someone they find "exciting," and by exciting, I mean will have plenty of problems to deal with.

Anonymous · Answer

I will say in my life speaking on my experience, it’s true. A lot of women I tried to date weren’t interested because I wasn’t exciting, I wasn’t dangerous, I was too nice, etc, etc. Now that I’m in my 40s, stable, well off financially, a lot of those women I was interested in are still single or single mothers. I’ve had a few try to talk to me again, but it was just a hello, how you been, cool ok I’m out. Me sing I wanted nothing to do w them. I think too a lot of women have been through some trauma w a man so they don’t see a nice man as something normal. If he’s too nice she’s wondering what does he want. This doesn’t feel right. This isn’t like all my past relationships. I think around my early 30s I kind of went off the rails, got drunk a lot, got into a lot of fights, cussed people out, had a DUI. I treated a lot of women like shit, but somehow it got me more ass then any other time in my life.

CherryLove007 · Answer

Love no

Some psychologists believe that women prefer bad boys because it allows them to fuel their inner longing for rebellion and position themselves in a new way.

This is especially true for teenage girls who are trying to free themselves of an innocent image and blossom into an adult.

Truly nice guys are not unappealing. It is a subset of girls/women that like the chance to be a part of excitement that they never experienced.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel like nice guys be it truly nice or no... It's become more of a stereotype rather than am actual attribute of a person yk.

Now everyone assumes nice guys are not confident, geeky, probably your average joe, but they'll be loyal to you.

And people asumme bad guys are hot, confident but players at heart and will break your heart.

It's all just made up stereotypes that became popular.

Truth is most people in general will be looking for a partner that's compatible with them yk.

Someone that gets you, respects you, that you feel comfortable with and attracted to, has similar values, makes you smile, is gentle and kind but also knows how to be assertive, takes accountability, knows how to prioritise things and also knows how to be serious when it matters and loyal to their partner and goals.

Pohjolan · Answer

Some people confuse hard to get with high value.

Also peer selection pressure. A fuckboy is demonstrably desired by many women so women assume that he is high value.

The dark power of atrocity. Psychopaths were often able to eliminate competition during the stone age.

Few things increase a man's desirability among women as much as being ousted as a serial killer rapist.

That said a nice guy can be successful among women like take Jocko Willink for a example but despite of being nice.

Not because of it.

Anonymous · Answer

They have zero sex appeal. That’s the problem. No confidence, no manly energy, low testo vibes, no charisma, usually ko style, no nothing except being ”nice”. That gets them in the friendzone. Women do want men who are nice and emotionally intelligent BUT he ALSO have to be manly, confident, charming. There has to be a spark.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Nice guys generally prefer peace, respect, good things. The whole bad-boy thing is related to chaos. Women need chaos or they get bored. That's why nice guys are always friend zoned or cheated on, but never the love of her life. That love of her life is in jail or dumped her and she's hung up on him still. Assholes will always win at everything over nice guys.

SixFootSexy · Answer

Women want a little drama and a challenge. Dominance. Excitement. Purely "Nice guys" just don't give them either of those things.

FreyaRed · Answer

Making everything correctly according to school books isn't charismatic and sign of confidence.. Some guys don't understand that. Especially if they have to say no but they say yes because suggestion of the etiquette says yes is the right thing.
Some guys don't understand girl's egocentric way of thinking and the fact that assertiveness has more value than being always correct

sage2021 · Answer

I feel more protected by the bad boy type than the nice guys 👦 because my personal experience being with nice guys I am the one doing the protection not them.
I don't mean every nice guy is like that but there are many who aren't the greatest protectors. There are nice guys that will step up to the plate and protect those they love and protect.
Luckily I did get to experience one man who was very nice and my great protector and that was my late boyfriend.
R. I. P.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Typically the bad boy has certain characteristics that women like. Such as confidence and not being scared to stand for what they believe in. A nice guy is someone who has no strong stance on anything, they lack confidence and they don't stand up for themselves. Its not about being nice or bad it's usually about the traits that these people give off.

NoDecision · Answer

Well from what I have read, there are a lot of women who fall for bad guys and wind up abused, mistreated, and sometimes dead. Frankly, I don't get the appeal. Give me a nice guy every time over some lame bad boy.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

That's not just a woman thing; that's a people thing. A lot people straight up do NOT appreciate kindness that they haven't directly asked for.

You have to make people work for the kindness and favors you do them. That's a lesson I've had to learn several times throughout life. Don't do anything for anyone that hasn't actually asked you for.

McSteamy · Answer

It's simple. No human care much about things they earn easily. Women get more attention than men. So it's obvious that they prefer manly guys over nice guys. Options are plenty for them. Turn the tables and you will see men ignore nice women as well. It's not gender based. It's all about how many options we have to chose and we pick the best.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Nice guys are cool for my sister. But nice guys always finish last. They’re too Polite and nice sweet about everything. Me I’m a bad boy. I don’t give a fuck but I’m definitely gonna show her a good fun time that’s for sure because I’m gonna have myself a good time but at the same time if she don’t like what I’m giving and showing her can go fuck herself..

stayorgo · Answer

I don't know, but I don't care to a point. What a great question. I would assume it's probugly a little bit of both. But unfortunately it's probably more towards girls wanting the bad boys
. But i'm sure the numbers are pretty high for girls who don't care or not looking

Anonymous · Answer

Her toxicity. There is probably not much if anything wrong with him. But she is not attracted to quality men because she was likely raised in toxicity and it is what is "normal" to her. I always tell guys when these types of women dismiss you, be grateful. She did you a solid. It may not seem like it at the time, but she did.

slatyb · Answer

Women love truly nice guys who genuinely care for others, but have boundaries. They don't love manipulative "nice guys" who think that doing favors unasked will get them laid.

dwreborn · Answer

I think ya girls when young seek that bad boy image but older women prob like to be loved respected know that they are safe that the guy has good morals

Nikki1989 · Answer

That is a total myth, and any women on here that say otherwise are almost always men posting under a pink account. That has been a common thing on here for years.

DonaldDarko · Answer

Girls like men for what they can do, your character matters less than if you can save them or provide for them. They will go with Hitler if he's available.

Anonymous · Answer

some of the most promiscuous men ever were bad boys

the better question is, why wouldn't any guy want to be a bad boy? is following the rules that society has laid out for you really the way they want to live their life?

WhitneySnow · Answer

Girls don’t like fake nice guys. Truly nice guys are really rare and most of them have partners (whom they don’t cheat on even if tempted).

Twalli · Answer

Bad boys are exciting. Nice guys are safe. Girls don't want a safe person until they're ready to settle down. There's no excitement in safety. Nice guys finish last because girls only look at them when they're ready to get married.

msc545 · Answer

Women like seemingly "tough guys" who they think can somehow "protect" them. This works until someone with a weapon attempts to abduct them or whatever. We no long live in the stone age.

Viola_456 · Answer

I believe thats only a thing with young or immature girls

Flower7 · Answer

I think it’s because they are usually not attractive.

exitseven · Answer

There is a difference between "nice guys" and guys who let people push them around.

SoccerPlayer99 · Answer

Because women can walk all over them. They don't take responsibility for themselves or their relationship. A lot of women want a man who will take ownership so that she doesn't have to.

jshm2 · Answer

Girls are stupid, and vapid at the best of times.

qwerty2469 · Answer

Its not a myth. Nice guys are weak. A woman will let a nice hlguy take care of her financially amd she will talk his ear off, but she will cheat on him constantly with bad boys, assholes, and psychopaths.

RHK36 · Answer

Nice guys will hold you accountable more than the bad guys. Women are allergic to acting accordingly, it's not rocket science.

LiamJHayden · Answer

If the guy is genuinely nice but boring, a lot of women will be disinterested because of the latter.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Nice guys have no boundaries. They are willing to suffer disrespectful behavior and humiliation and no one respects a person that doesn't respect themselves.

Nemesis2k7 · Answer

Total myth. Girls want a guy they can use. Aka the “nice guy” whilst she is banging the loser, the “bad guy” the one who will treat her poorly. Girls today have zero clue.

Anonymous · Answer

Truly nice guys are too passive and lack the dominant traits girls want - so it's no myth that girls are attracted to bad boys.

es20490446e · Answer

That they don't lead the interaction. They follow the lead and vibe of the woman.

Anonymous · Answer

Dominant girls like nice guys, because they are submissive.  However, most girls are not dominant (unfortunately).  That's why guys like me can't find a girlfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

5 "pink" responses and an asker and half are obvious men lol

jahaims · Answer

If someone is too immature they aren't attracted to mature qualities

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

The issue isn’t a dude being an actual nice guy. Its more about the dude being a simp or a pushover

Hotboy_booblover · Answer

Bad boys have high testosterone that makes them bad. Good guys are softer and may not be appealing to a lot of girls.

Anonymous · Answer

If the guy is too nice they feel like he's a push over. If the guy is tough they love them more

Meatballs · Answer

I wonder the same thing as you do Why🤔

Anonymous · Answer

Are you a man in a pink account?

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Nice guys? You mean simps, right?

Slim57 · Answer

Too boring I guess

What is it about truly nice guys that makes them unappealing to girls or is that really just a myth that girls love bad boys?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What is it about truly nice guys that makes them unappealing to girls or is that really just a myth that girls love bad boys?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.