Is it just a myth that girls don't like good guys?

Question

People say that girls don't like good guys or nice guys, and that it's the bad guy that always gets the chance. But then again if you ask a girl what type of a guy she'd like, many girls tend to say "Someone kind, caring, and funny", and that doesn't sound like the bad guy. It's confusing.

So is the "girls don't like good guys" thing just a myth rather than a fact, or is it vice versa?

Is it just a myth that girls dont like good guys?

ArztSchlachthof · Accepted Answer

It's kinda simple, actually.

Girls want to have fun, thus they want "a bad guy", since "bad guys" are usually those who care mostly about entertainment and "messing with girls". "Good guys", nice ones, usually don't prioritise entertainment and fun. Instead, they care about their self-development, their friends, their career and future et cetera. Also, "nice guys" can appear needy if they are too mindful and helpful. That is, apparently, not attractive.

This is a rather social problem, I'm afraid. People do not value "nice" individuals. Instead, they mock or ignore them. In fact, being mindful, helpful, nice or sacrificial is seen as a "weakness" that others can use.

For example - a girl that I know about chose a boy that "stolen" her phone and put his number inside. That's certainly not what "a nice guy" would have done.

Also - if you question a girl about this, try asking her prior how many "nice guys" she is aware of in her life and how many did she reject. She will probably say something like "none", in which case she is either not aware of them (another problem nice guys have - they are not "loud" enough) or really had no "luck" in life, or something like "a lot" and she apparently hasn't found them attractive enough.

Just a quick question - why do you think all those divorces happen? Can it be, perhaps, somehow related?

That's coming out of my experience - if you are different, sure. However, this is an observation that I cannot prove to you since I haven't really taken notes on it during my life ;)

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Most girls like a little bit of both , if a guy is too nice she won’t be interested if he is too bad she won’t be interested , she needs a little of both to keep her on her toes , Most girls love the game of chase and trying to figure them out completey is impossible , so as a guy best thing to do is let them know you are interested but not for to long if she doesn’t come chasing you back then you are best to move on , if she does come chasing you accept it for a little then start acting like you you need some space let her know you have a life over worshipping her , she more than likely will be on her knees wanting you more , When a guy constantly chases a girl she gets turned off , she likes a guy to play hard to get Girl’s brains race a 1000 things at once so by giving her space and letting her brain catch up she will come to you when ready but if you are constantly on her space she will lose interest , Ypu kind of have to make it seem like you are ok without her without coming off as an asshole , Girl’s are attracted to confidence and status where guys are attracted to her beauty and personality , Again bro it isn’t easy but if you want to keep a girl that’s the shit we got to do to keep her standing by us , if not she will be looking elsewhere

Seinna · Accepted Answer

I like decent, good-hearted people. Being good takes courage in our world, it's not easy.

Why would I be with someone who's a dick? Why would I be with someone who is a dick and just pretends to be good?

The "good/nice guy" archetype often has nothing to do with actually being good.

Sometimes it's an euphemism for being timid and lacking confidence combined with resorting to manipulation to get what they want because they otherwise lack the qualities that attract women. Sometimes the so called good guys just pretend to be good because they want something in return and show their true face when they don't get it... because they put the effort to act "nice", they feel entitled to it.

So in other words I like people who are good despite the world being bad because it's their nature and not pretending to be nice to avoid open conflict because that's the easiest way for them to get by.

Luminair3 · Accepted Answer

Girls like bad guys mostly when they are young. That's because they look for thrill and adventure. But later usually they get tired of the guy because despite the thrill you find out such guys to be assh0les. Usually you can't turn such guys into a good guy. Girls of course like good guys. A good guy and nice guy are two types, nice guys are the type of guys you see in GAG who are being nice to you and then ask for a boob picture because they think they deserve it. Good guys are different from them.

coachTanthony · Answer

-----------Here's what it's all about kids.

Women like the bad boys and want them to be good guys. Problem is... you will never find a "Bad Boy" that wants to ever be that "good guy" they claim to want... because that would defeat the purpose of why they are attracted to them in the first place.

~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

Browneye57 · Answer

You're confuzzled man. Girls like 'good guys', but they also like edgy guys, alpha men, leaders, guys that are actually going someplace and being someone. They like power, money, and good looks. And they want to be entertained. If you're not all that then get busy and do the work.

There's a difference between 'nice', and 'kind'. It would do you well to study the difference. Girls see through 'nice' - you'll say and do ANYTHING to get in her panties.
Kind is a strong man - he doesn't play nicey-nice, he's on his mission, he's working toward his life goals and aspirations. And he's polite, kind, it doesn't mean he's an asshole. And no, you don't treat girls like shit, but you don't put them on a pedestal either. Their respect is EARNED, it's not an entitlement.

I recommend you read at least the first two years' blogs by Rollo here:
www.therationalmale.com

He does a good job of explaining why women act like they do, why they do what they do, and what man's place is in the dating game. Everything you've ever been told by women in your life, your mom, sisters, teachers, aunts, etc. is a giant lie. Yes, it's all false.

Anonymous · Answer

I can’t talk for other women but me? Can bad guys stay the fv (k away from me. I have NO time for a guy like that.
I want a good guy. A guy that’s kind hearted, friendly, loving, he listens, he’s supportive, he speaks so kindly to you and to others, respectful, I’m general has good morals and values.

I was seeing a guy, J, who was this incredibly attractive guy, into bodybuilding, he’s tall, bad boy kinda guy. Had a terrible attitude, extremely close minded, spoke rudely, always left me feeling unsettled, unsure of where we stood, controlling and judgmental, yes he gave me a good time and blah blah blah but boy I ended that real quick after I realised he was NOT it.

Met a guy, k, have had a thing for nearly two years, he’s incredibly sweet, kind hearted, the whole thing with him so so relaxed and calm. He’s my height, bald, not a bodybuilder (he’s slim with a slight chub coming along), not that any of that matters, just stating how when you go for those hot bad guy types, you get nowhere and you realise there’s more to it than the brief fun and looks.

I’ve fallen head over heels for this good guy, this kind man. So glad I never wasted my time on previous guys. Even with this super sweet guy now things get so exciting and fun and the more I fall in love the better things seem to get. Actually, things get better every single day!

Anonymous · Answer

Girls want someone they’re afraid of basically. That’s what makes them hot in the pants and they’ll do anything to keep them around. The only reason they talk about nice guys is because they want that alpha guy to nice enough to stay with them.

Also birth control plays a huge role in this. When women are ovulating they want a those traditional alpha guys that we all are familiar with. But birth control basically tricks the female body into thinking it’s pregnant, so girls will tend to go for more beta males so as to assure someone to take care of them and the kid.

The feminist movement to make men more caring is the direct result of this. It’s basically a way to sift through guys so they can get the alpha genetic material and the consistency of the beta male.

If you’re a guy, just think, think a bit. You’re already a nice guy. You believe in high moral ideals and want to treat everyone with respect. The feminist megaphone yells “be nicer” or more in touch with your emotions, yet you can’t pinpoint any time where you were mean intentionally for some sadistic pleasure, or have a complete lack of empathy that you can’t possibly relate to others where every social interaction is a manipulative opportunity for you. Yet they say that with such ferocity that some guys start to think this might be true. You don’t have to feel guilty, you don’t have to repent, you’re nice already.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s a myth. A lot of the so called nice guys, that appear nice are actually not that nice. The problem is that a lot of psychos are not self aware at all and see themselves as being “a nice guy”. What does that even mean to be a nice guy? The opposite of a bad guy? I think people have taken this narrative from romantic movies where there’s always a super bad guy and a super nice guy. My ex was a nice guy according to him, and I thought so as well, he had the qualities of a so called nice guy but he wasn’t nice at all. He didn’t respect my boundaries, no wasn’t always a no when it came to consent. And he was psychologically abusive. My latest ex would appear as a so called bad guy. Got looks, style, goes gym, a typical mans man but was a good guy, softie and overall nice guy. The women that go for men that don’t treat them well often have unresolved trauma that has causes them to have an insecure attachment style. But no man or woman wants to be treated bad. As humans we are attracted to confident people, and if you as a man see a confident man as a “bad guy” then please go work on yourself.

Alyssa11 · Answer

Definitely just a myth. I’ve never liked or dated a mean guy. The shitty side only started coming out later after they got comfortable lol. But every guy I’ve dated was super kind to me at first and i would never date a different kind of guy. Im way too sensitive to be dealing with that.

SamA_nold · Answer

Girls like guys who are nice and respectful, however, that is not the same as a "nice guy". That refers to guys who think that just because they are nice to a girl or are friendly with one, that they are entitled to sex or a relationship. They overstep boundaries without regards for the other person, and can grow violently aggressive when turned down.

djmzes · Answer

It depends on the person wisdom, age and personality and maturity.
For a teenager, she does not know the difference between fake and not, nor caring now about the consequences.

For a grownup women, she know the difference and know the consequences and can see which is fake and not.

At thr end, There are two groups:
1. That make the myth true
2. That make the myth false.

Choice is yours to see in what group you which to belong.
Whatever you choose, you will lose something but gain something else.

little_rose · Answer

My boyfriend (I say boyfriend but we're not really dating and I absolutely HATE the word lover) is a good guy. He's super considerate, caring, sweet and honest and I adore him. He obviously has a dark side to him but he overtly shows it and shows that he can control the 'bad' in him and that's a good sign to me. It reassures me.

To be completely honest, I wouldn't like a too nice guy because my thinking is that an overly 'nice' person on the surface certainly has a hidden dark side. And I don't like people like that. I can feel when people are hiding something bad and it's a truly horrible feeling.

For obvious reasons, I would also not like an absolute bad guy lol

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

most women in the millennial and most likely zoomer generation are a lost cause. They’ve been corrupted by feminist and leftist ideals and haven’t figured out that virtually no men will tolerate that mindset in a serious relationship. These women truly believe that a relationship is all about them and treat men as an accessory like a purse or shoes. The men that will tolerate these women have no respect for women at all; they’re the guys at the bar that knock up a bunch of chicks under a fake name then skip town. In general women have lost all value and virtually all of millennial women will end up alone having raised kids by themselves that refuse to interact with them once they’re old enough to move out. I feel bad for the lives ahead of millennial women, because it’s the same life they’re trying to give most men now.

USMC-Crossroads · Answer

It's quite simple; Confidence. Too much confidence - you're an asshole / jerk / wife-beater. Too little confidence - you're a pussy / bitch / weak little boy.
Most 'nice' guys are that way because they're wusses - a common problem in these days of "All men are evil." The best way to be, I've found, is the way they told us in Marine Corps Boot Camp; Be capable of raw, brutal, extreme rage and violence... but keep your sword sheathed. Think of a old West hero, who will only draw his gun when he must.
Still, there are a lot of damaged girls out there with unresolved father-issues, who will absolutely look for men that will treat them like shit, (my sister, for example), and stay with them while being abused.
Nice guys; Be kind, not weak!

TheorionMage · Answer

It has been MY personal experience that as soon as my adolescent paramours found THEIR PARENTS APPROVED of our dating borne of my overt manners... begun my being viewed as "too white bread" and 'tame' to advertise the girl's desire to espouse her rebellion and self expression. If I wasn't concupiscently pawing her like some ravening Predator, then I was too boring. She was looking for me to provide her 'life experience' yet unwilling to signal she was at least passively interested exploring her physical capacities.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

The problem lies in the vocabulary. "Good guy" can mean basically anything, or nothing at all, depending who you ask. "Nice guy" is similarly vague, but also loaded with negative connotations, as many equate "nice guy" with "simps", "incels", etc.

What women tend to find attractive in men are traits like competence, strength, confidence, and any demonstrations that he is a good protector. Then there's also virility, sexual confidence, and overall attractiveness to consider.

None of which is exclusive to either "good" or "bad" guys. Just as there are competent and strong willed good guys, so to are there incompetent and weak bad guys, and vice versa, and everything in between.

incubuskatz · Answer

The truth is there is NO good men on this earth. Even back in the day according to Mark 10:18 and Luke 18:19, Jesus says, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.” so us humans aren't very good no matter what anyone says and those girls that try and put a man into a worldly standard category of "bad" or "good" so all in all regarding the topic.. we all have bad nature in us, and those good guys aren't really all that good just to afraid to get what they want fear.

JDavid25 · Answer

Women like good guys.. Women who were raised right and are great themselves.. Girls like bad boys.. I've literally seen some girls talk about how they want a dangerous guy, or a thug.. Those girls usually have problems of their own they never fixed.. They end up getting abused because they gravitate towards a type of guy that's not good.. So it's not exactly a myth but it is spread around a bit too much to a lot of women..

Anonymous · Answer

You'll never *not* get a girl just because you're a good guy. An attractive guy doesn't become unattractive just because he's nice.

The reason you (general "you", not necessarily you specifically) can't get a girl is that there's something else about you that women don't find attractive. Maybe it's even that your personality isn't as great as you think, which is likely the case if you feel the need to pin your lack of sexual success down to how great you are, instead of analyzing how you could improve yourself.

bobalife · Answer

Definitely a myth! Lol. I would love to meet a good guy and that's desirable in most cases for women :) A bad guy is just a red flag, and I'm tire of them esp the ones who pretends to be a good guy at the beginning.

LoveIsFake · Answer

Bottom line is this, women will always say one thing but want something else. Simply women love the idea of having a good guy but actually don't want it to happen which is why they always reject them because at the end they want this bad boy. Then when they decide it's time to settle down they complain that there's no good guys left or they disappeared. The problem is they were to late to settle down. By the time they choose to settle down and find a good guy all those guys have already found a girl to settle with that's much younger. That's why there's so many old single woman, they were simply to late. I got of topic but anyways I think for the most part most girls don't but there's a few that do.

SheerKiss3 · Answer

Its somehow true. But not completely. We like guys that may be strong and rude but not with us. Its just like we like protective guys so if he got that bad boy look we assume he is strong and protective. But not the kind of man who will be abusive. I like sweet guys but not the ones who show his sweet cute side to everyone. So about the question i think its somwhere in the middle.

crazy8000 · Answer

Depends on many things.

Good and bad is relative concept.

What many calls bad boy do attract emotional immatur female mind and repels what many consider good guy.

( That's the oversimplified short version )

I say.

Don't even bother with those female's.
They aren't worth wasting our life on.
They rarely have any quality to bring to the table even if they seams to have it.
Their physical beauti fades faster than you realize and they doesn't have any bargain chip. and when it comes to it, it wasn't a bargain chip to start with when the rest of the package is missing.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

People who say this are usually guys that have been rejected. They say "but I'm a nice guy" nice isn't enough... You're saying that you're the bare minimum. That's not interesting. Being nice shouldn't be your whole personality. Then these so called nice guys are usually the ones to turn around and say "oh you're ugly anyway" when you turn them down.

ElenaFrogger552 · Answer

The thing is, guys who usually go around saying they're "good guys," usually aren't. They narcissistic and think they're nice guys, when they're actually not, and just want to use the girl to fulfill their romantic and sexual needs.

Actual good guys... let's not confuse them with pushover guys who let the girl ALWAYS take charge REGARDLESS of context, but actual good guys, with basic respect for human beings in general... girls, including myself, like those.

red_knight · Answer

Girls say what they feel and do the opposite, everyone does.

We all want to have as much fun as we want till we're bored of it or ready to settle down.
Good guys are not the top of the list coz they're not as thrilling and fun as the choices the girls go for.
Instead good guys get the girls wo are broken or done with wild fun phase. 😂 😂 😂

When you're nice you become the friend/brother like/reserve for the time she has no choice left.

Ohh nooo I spilled trade secrets.. Come at me 😂

ChiTown33 · Answer

No it's not a myth but you need to understand the way women look at it.
Technically women do like good guys. But they have to check all their other boxes first. In other words a good guy is just a bland colorless BORING guy to a woman if he's not all the other things she wants. A woman would rather be with a serial killer than a " nice guy". I know it's f***ed up but it's just the way her mind works.

Paul09 · Answer

I know! It makes zero sense! You'd think a grown ass adult would know what they want. Bad boys dont give a sh*t , so they will always have more chances with women. While being a nice guy, you can get taken advantage of for a free meal. Many of us nice guys can be very bad when needed. Give some nicer guts a chance, you might he suprised of what's it's like to be treated as a equal.

dmgstarfleet · Answer

It’s a myth. Watch what people do, not what they say. Women always say they want a good guy but they freindzone nice guys and throw their bush at the Chad type assholes. I’ll get grief from them for this post but both you and they know that it’s true.

Drooogie4 · Answer

100% a myth.

EVERYONE wants someone who is kind to them.

Most self-proclaimed "nice guys ", though, are not especially nice. It kinda screams victim playing.

Nobody has rejected you for being nice I PROMISE.

45Fstraight · Answer

I love the good guys. Too what extent are we talking about though? Won't drive 5 mph over the speed limit? Won't kill a spider?

I love the men that are kind and polite and chivalrous and love their moms.

Anonymous · Answer

Women always say that they want 'The Good Guy' but if you watch their actions they always chase the 'chad' or 'tyrone' until they decide they want to settle then they look for a guy that is 'good enough', though now guys are getting wise to what's going on and are no longer there when the women start looking for the guy that is 'good enough'.

natured · Answer

According to me you people watch too many movies, define a bad guy? Also define a good guy? How bad is bad and how good is actually good? Is a relationship supposed to be perfect?
I prefer guys that are confident and that are stable, that's all... i don't give a rats fart about BAD GOOD bllablla because this fiasco is just in the movies.

MCheetah · Answer

Many girls aren't attracted to good guys, but WANT good guys, if that makes sense. Ideally, these girls want to tame a wild bad boy and make him good. Some girls CLAIM they want a good guy, but rarely go after them. Not until they're in their mid 30s, at least.

YOLOIFIC · Answer

Stereotypes are truisms, something people accept as true despite having no objective evidence to support it.

Most are either completely false, or most false with a small amount of truth

It’s safe to assume that anything making broad assumptions about an entire gender, race, nationality, or other group of people is false.

pragmatik · Answer

Most young girls will spend their time with someone fun. And not only fun while going out to the movies but also fun in bed. A guy who seems to have a lot of experience with girls is likely to be picked up instead of a shy guy. Sure, those guys ar a scarce resource. Some girls won't be able to pick one of those and will default to whatever is next.
When girls start dating guys for long term relationships and building up a family they will start looking for more stable guys. Which often times is not an attribute on the former kind of guys. So shy guys get more lucky around this stage.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

I think these so called bad guys appear fun and promising at first, at first they might seem compatible, but not for long.
Some women might just be looking for the thrill.

The point is most of the good guys these women might find later on won't be very comfortable with such a wife or girlfriend

WTFWhyMe · Answer

Major myth. Each woman has her own "type" and honestly bangers and bikers and felons, aka bad boys? Major turn off for me. Hard working, preferably educated and no real record? That's MY type. Ijs

cth96190 · Answer

Ignore everything that a woman says about what type of man she wants.
Instead, watch for whom she opens her legs.
Until they are about 30 years old, the vast majority of females get the tingles for sociopathic bad boys. Decent young men who want to love a woman are considered to be ‘boring’.
Hence, when one refers to younger females, it is accurate to say that, as a collective, women are not interested in good men.
Ignore the words, pay attention to actions.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Girls dont like "bad" guys. They like guys with confidence. Guys who are sure of themselves. Guys who aren't afraid. So naturally the so called bad guy is much more appealing.

A "nice" guy who sits around, doesn't have any passions in life and can only stare at women because he doesn't have the balls to talk to them, isn't going to attract them.

pink_and_inlove · Answer

Yes it is a myth I’m with a good guy right now that’s goofy nerdy and sweet and he’s the most amazing person that I've ever met. Be with someone that accepts you for you

DellBell · Answer

I like a good guy with a bad side in the bedroom such a turn on!

Somegirl408 · Answer

good girls like good guys and bad girls like bad guys

Eelephant · Answer

I'm sure some prefer them, but being a "bad guy" is definitely a major turn off to me. All girls aren't created equal so I'm sure you will come across many with different preferences.

Ninjazzed · Answer

I love actual good guys. Actual good guys who enjoy my company and offer to do sweet gestures out of pure kindness.. not just in hopes that it leads to sex. Those other “good guys” are just miserable simps.

m33lad · Answer

Girls do like nice guys. But when they’re past their 30’s and have went through the jerks.

And maybe she has 2/3 kids.
Her body is destroyed, and usually not always they’re fat or out of shape. They’re ready for Mr nice guy.

Didn’t you ever watch Forrest Gump?

MindTalker · Answer

It's not correct girls doesn't like good guy, but it's true a good guy never try to please or force any women for her company. This is why because the man think if he do so, the woman think he is a bad one. So it is mostly correct good men, or women lost their loved ones miserably.

Commander_Red · Answer

The whole "Girls don't like nice guys" is a stupid myth by asshole men who pretend that they are nice so they can get laid and then make it seem like it's the girl's fault because she wasn't interested.

Cutie0059 · Answer

Just be a lovely, thoughtful, and loyal dude who wears a leather jacket lol

tupacs_only_wife · Answer

It is a myth. The only reason why some girls only date bad boys is because they believe that they may find more thrills and adventure from bad boys.

dudeinohio · Answer

Women love the adventure a bad boy brings
They'll tolerate being mistreated.

Sometimes, they see the light and finally look for a decent guy. Usually, they have to go through the shit guys first, though.

Tonita91996 · Answer

At this point I dont care because people dont know what they want to do but act like a relationship is going to fulfilled them. That is why i have a relationship to myself to avoid all the confusion and headaches that comes to relationships. I rather be alone than stress about people who are confused about what they want themselves.

iamsafespace · Answer

It’s a twisted statement. Personally, I don’t like pushovers, yes-men, doormats, etc. But good guys? (“Good” meaning decent, respectful, considerate, thoughtful, etc. ) Gotta be a real dumbie to let one slip through my fingers.

BareNecessary · Answer

It's confidence, intelligence, and a matched sex drive and personality. All that and a balance of genuinity and being beneficiary to her in general. Should go both ways. But with certain qualities so scarce people give into just some good dick. That's the vibe I keep getting anyway. I never ask my partners these questions in order to keep the confident look up and look like I know what I'm doing

kidvid80 · Answer

i like good guys but i think majority do like the bad boys, not all of us though!

lovelyleo · Answer

Woman like good guys. That is certainly not a myth.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

My boyfriend is the fucking NICEST guy I've ever been with, but i always go for the good guys. My ex was an awesomely nice guy, so was my ex husband. It's a preference, that's for sure.

Miah02 · Answer

So the myth actually is that all girls don't.  But just like any subject. You will find some that do, some that don't and some that are impartial

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Of course women like good guys. It's just that the men who so often call themselves "nice guys" are not actually nice

DrAdams · Answer

Girls love a good guy, not a person however who's unafraid to disagree with them.

Chthou95 · Answer

50/50. There are women that do like good guys but you do have a lot of women that chase after bad guys. And im talking guys that break the law or have a criminal record and are just all around shitty people. So again it's split

adamjanovic · Answer

Yes, it’s a myth. You know what’s a lot sexier than a bad boy? A grown man who’s got his shit together and treats women with respect.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I only and only want a good man and so do all my friends. Dumb women don’t want good men.

Is it just a myth that girls don't like good guys?

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