Do I just continue to work and go home no matter what or how good it seems?

[Anonymous]

She used the proximity method at first I come in before everyone waiting to clock in so it’s barely anyone around. She stands on the side near me then moves really close touching facing me with her arms crossed looking forward didn’t mind just nervous in my head. As I always say I can control myself I can’t control them I would like to talk to her but hey I already got lead on once. Maybe more of the same and don’t shit were you eat but not an excuse just because people try to interact especially of the opposite sex doesn’t mean I have to. I understand it doesn’t make it ok just because they are trying to interact with me it’s been cool couple months. At this new job I’ve been cool with the guys dont really see alott of drama I only talk to girls if I’m assigned to work with them or have to. Other than that I stay away from them but do I just keep my distance away or speak tell her I’m not interested if that’s the case I can just ignore her even tho I am.

[ManOnFire]

So it sounds like you're saying this girl is into you but you're not really interested (your details are a little funny), and if that's the case then it's okay. You are not required to like someone, and definitely not anyone on your job. And you are actually doing the right thing by interacting with your girl co-workers yet keeping a certain distance, that's the smart way. Many times these girls will flip the script anyway and decide to go running to leadership and complain about you when they're ready. At the end of the day, they are just co-workers. Some might be really nice people, but most times better not to get in a relationship with them.

[Asker]

Actually was thinking about it I’d give it a shot she’s pretty but like you said most times things change. I literally seen a guy getting yelled at outside work while talking with another co worker so I guess I can keep it cool. Hasn’t really been to much drama or gossip but it’s work Ithat will always happen I just don’t see or hear to much of it so I don’t notice.

[ManOnFire]

Yeah. Great that she's pretty, but there are lots of other pretty girls elsewhere. And yes, even what you do with co-workers outside of work can still get back to management and cause you problems. That's why I stopped going to the bar my own at the end of the week.

[Asker]

Yeah just not worth it and plus it could just be a move to trick me into getting rejected. I know it’s many other guys that are way more attractive than me so I’ll just stay in my lane until I get out and hopefully find someone else. Not worth the embarrassment and loosing your income over especially women who aren’t even interested in me specifically.

[ManOnFire]

"plus it could just be a move to trick me into getting rejected"
- This is absolutely correct. But is largely the case with the young girls. They are already on ego trips so they would do exactly that, yeah.

Sorry this is going to be a bit long, but let me tell you a little secret - assuming you don't know it already: I don't know if I'd say most, but a LOT of women in the workplace flirt with dudes or discreetly act like they like them, when they're really just hoping a dude will do things for them. And many of these females already have boyfriends/husbands at home. And many of them also are looking for sex because they're not getting it in their own relationships, or they just want it because it's available from guys on the job they think are good looking, and they know most times their bfs/husbands aren't going to find out.

THEN, when these women are done with you, they'll flip the script and change up on you, or even decide they're going to complain. I've seen women being okay with a guy touching them or talking fresh until they're ready to take it to HR, women who were sleeping with married managers until they were ready to escalate that too, and other messed up cases.

We are trained to believe that women are largely the victims when something goes to management or HR, but in many, many of these situations, they are actually also at fault but nothing happens to them because the systems are set up to protect them even when they're wrong. I've seen it a lot. I've worked retail jobs, warehouse, and corporate and it all goes the same way. Lots of sex, lots of dating, and chicks doing what you noted. So yes, you're being smart by staying neutral.

[Asker]

Sad part about today is they do the same outside of work just leading guys on for no reason. funny how even women I haven’t talked to at all at work try to avoid walking next to me in the hall way in passing. And just because I didn’t take the bait maybe could have been genuine I don't know I never spoke a word to them you see this is what I mean when I say I can only control myself not everyone else. Regardless of what I do they still will talk but it’s just my job to ignore them and being a guy who still hasn’t had anyone at 25 just even more frustrating. Thinking maybe I could meet people at work school nope and outside not any better but work I fully understand it’s not worth your money. Sad thing is any place you go it’s the same thing majority of the time I just happen to be fool enough to think at work or school were they do it on the regular. I do feel left out because I see many other guys talking to them and some maybe not romantic some gay guys maybe. But it is what it is I got future plans when I leave this place I could probably find one then maybe.

[ManOnFire]

"funny how even women I haven’t talked to at all at work try to avoid walking next to me in the hall way in passing. And just because I didn’t take the bait maybe could have been genuine I don't know I never spoke a word to them"
- I have seen exactly what you're talking about. They are baiting you, yes. These girls already decide they want to be messy and adversarial for no reason at all, and they're literally just waiting and hoping for you to give them a reason to dislike you or say you did something even if all you did was just say hello.

And if you've never even spoken to them and they're trying to avoid you, there's a good chance there's some made-up gossip she heard about you and is going out of her way to show that she dislikes you without ever having gotten to know you whatsoever. This is the evil of gossip but even more the evil of these girls. They are one of the most wicked demographics in our modern world, sad to say. And they behave this way because they know other people fear them and men desperately want to protect them, so they know they'll get away with what they do.

The other guys you see talking to them might be what these girls consider socially acceptable dudes or better looking both physically and socially. Or some are just good at talking game. Don't sweat it though, you are avoiding madness. Those girls are showing you exactly who they are, and I'm sure they're not really the kinds you want to go far with.

[Asker]

Tired of the simp shit it really does give them power and sad asf to say it’s grown ass men still doing it. But I’m just going to stear clear of them and make it a priority to move myself from the situation if they come around. I’m at the point in my life I’m tired of this and even some guys are weird asf on jobs also so can’t even talk to some of them. But at least I don’t have to worry about looking my job we as men can control ourselves and understand we can’t risk our job on drama. We can not like each other and move on only time it’s a problem if one person can’t control their emotions and it’s a fight. Make it even better we can go down the road around the corner from work and handle it come back like nothing ever happened. Maybe get shot thinking the other person is willing to fight or not but regardless of the fact its not happening at work.

[ManOnFire]

All that is true. And yes, guys are some of the biggest trouble makers at work - for other guys. All it takes is one jealous dude to act like a bitch and he'll cause you trouble like one too.

[Asker]

I learned my lesson tho regardless of how much they try to make it seem like they are interested. No they don’t find me attractive no they don’t want anything to do with me just to play games and reject me. I used to feel bad about walking away making it obvious I didn’t want to be around them after getting rejected once at my old job. But it was the best thing for me feeling alone excluded but made a little money at the end of the day so I guess that’s the price I had to pay. I think I’m just going to not even look there way anymore just avoid them ask to work with someone else sucks but whatever I’ll be ok.

[Avicenna]

Doesn’t sound like she’s worth your time

[Asker]

And just for clarity it was a different one who lead me on but I’m assuming you got it already thanks for the tip appreciate it.

[Avicenna]

No problem!

[SueShe]

It is fine not to speak to those people if you don't have to. Obviously, you will have to interact with them on a professional basis but that's it. No need to be personal with anyone if you don't want it. There is no obligation to fraternise with anybody.

You may be seen as cold and distant but that should not impact the work climate. That way, you save yourself from the drama but you may also feel excluded.

[Asker]

Don’t feel excluded because I talk to few guys work with regularly been cool for these months. I’ve been working so it’s been no drama and I hope it stays that way everything’s been smooth so far tho.

[Nikki1989]

If she continues to be persistent, then it might be time for a brief, polite, and direct conversation. Your peace of mind and professional reputation are more important than avoiding a few moments of potential awkwardness.

[Asker]

I’ve seen her before couple times but I guess I didn’t notice to much she was around with a friend and I thought nothing of it but I guess I’ll keep it friendly don’t know what is going on with her yet.

[In_Trance]

Lame

[Asker]

I’ll take that as a yes