What exactly is currently wrong with the dating scene in your opinion?

Question

McLlovin · Accepted Answer

Most women, not all; are selfish. I blame social media and simp culture (some men). Women over value themselves to the point their standards is completely ridiculous. This has happened because of the fake mask people wear while posting on social media about their “good life” (fake) and the men that drool over the women that post thirst traps for attention.

Nothing wrong with having standards, but be realistic. For example Having a gazillion dollars as a financial goal tomorrow isn’t realistic. But thats how it feels when the typical woman talks about her dating standards. Have your standards just please be with in reason.

Because of this atmosphere men have went on the defensive and we typically treat dating as a business deal. Women have killed the gentleman mindset, chivalry is dead, and rightfully so, but its sad.

The new thing now is 50/50 because a lot of women take advantage of your kindness and just want a free meal. I've heard of women in China that call up friends, and family members while on a date with a man to find out what they want to eat so they can bring it to them after they have the man pay. Truly terrible situations worse than this. Some men dont want to get married because of fear of divorce because some women end up filing for divorce years later just because they are bored. Look at Stephen Curry situation, his wife is acting like Jada Picket right now even though she has everything, and guess who her best friend is…. Jada Picket.. Can you guess where Stephen Curry’s marriage is headed?

It seems the 2 genders have become adversaries. One trying to out maneuver the other. In the west there is no such thing as love.. its what can you get.

the solution is that everyone must put the other person’s happiness before themselves. If to people who are dating is seeking the other person’s happiness, this will all turn around. But it won't because women don't want to build and men are trying to protect themselves by any means necessary

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Where do I begin?

Dating competition used to be just one other guy named George a city away trying to fight for the same girl you are at most. Now, because of the internet, social media, and dating apps, every guy is in competition with each other. If a girl uses social media or dating apps, she gets tons of attention. It fuels her ego and she develops shiny object syndrome. Because people are so accessible, she never wants to settle down. It's not just women that have this issue. Men have it too, but they don't get anywhere as much attention as women do and because of that, it primarily affects women.

People give up on love so easily nowadays. As soon as one little bump in the relationship happens, they lose all their picture perfect ideals, and would rather move on to try and find "perfect", rather than stick it through and work to fix the problem or compromise.

The dating market is like job interviews. Everyone is just a piece of paper to each other. It feels like a cold world.

And women... at least in the west, are extremely entitled, narcissistic, and misandrist. A good number of them are unapproachable. They chose the bear. Men listened.

FictionalCharacter · Accepted Answer

I cannot speak all women or men. Only me, as a woman experiencing with online dating.

First of all, I have never in my life have met someone on a dating app and went on a date with them. My experience has always been “hi, how are you?” In the messages, along with men sending crude jokes, half naked pics and ghosting.

As I have gotten older and now I’m in my mid thirties. I have been more independent and in survival mode to be able to afford the lifestyle I want for myself. That often times, I do want a relationship and have sent standards on what I’m looking for in a man. Along with boundaries, that I will not accept crude rude behavior.

Yes, if my standards are creating slim pickings on men matching on what I want. Then fine, I’ll own that. My safety and sanity matters first, than me settling down on a random person and we both suffer and regret our decisions of being in a relationship.

I also see a relationship as a HUGE RESPONSIBILITY of taking care another person and loving them.

Amy_Mi · Accepted Answer

People treat connection like content, quick to consume, quicker to discard.

Everyone wants “chemistry,” but few know how to build consistency.

We crave depth, yet scroll for attention.

We talk about loyalty, but keep options “just in case.”

The problem isn’t lack of love, it’s lack of emotional accountability.

Dating today often feels like people chasing validation instead of partnership.

And until honesty becomes trendier than games, the scene will stay broken.

ohsheeT · Answer

Sometime. I have to ask what is right with it

It's like a meat market
There are so many new titles out there and rules and sound like know one is happy any more
What ever happen meeting some one explore experience laugh and do something spontaneous . And see where it goes from there

I really dont know because I dont use them I have a few different friend on there I feel like I'm 18 again every time one of my friend goes on a date they think they need to tell me everything they did or want to do.

I always stop them and say do you realize that you could be telling everything you and wife did on the first date lol

AviatorTom · Answer

Historically, the goal of dating is to find a mate, someone you can spend (most of) the rest of your life with, settle down and raise a family, or at least be with if you decide not to have kids.

TBH, I don't know what the goal of dating is in today's society, and that's probably what's wrong with it. People don't know what's expected of them.

Finchie40 · Answer

Selfishness , most people have high expectations and if the person they are dating doesn’t match those expectations, they move on to the next , or they weigh their options and string people along

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I didn't have any unusual problems when I was dating (before 2021.)

HighValue · Answer

It is mostly moral incompatibility. Many more women from gen X and millennials have far worse morals, and many men have far better morals than early gen X and Boomer men did. It flipped, but even more extreme in the opposite directions than in the past so there is now much more incompatibility. Gen z women seem about 50/50 for good morals and very bad morals from what I have seen.

The majority of women that are currently 29+ are very immoral and unfit for a successful, happy, long term relationship. (past of promiscuity, has kids from others, drug use, heavy alcohol use, looks ugly from tattoos, nose rings, and 100 + pounds overweight, very unfair to men when in a relationship, extremely selfish/greedy, etc.) The majority of early gen X men are unfit for a relationship due to their past (drugs, promiscuity, has kids from others, emotionally unavailable, etc.) And many of the millennial men are physically weak, did/still do drugs, drink alcohol frequently, are addicted to porn (they are where most of the simps come from that pay for OF, etc.) they are emotionally immature, etc.)

Anonymous · Answer

The price.
Men are expected to pay for not only himself, but his lady which if the date fails or countless numerous dates in a given time frame with different women he will feel like he wasted his money, wasted his time, and is an emotional burden.

Women are going on dates trying to find the right guy to raise a kid with, however always end up not satisfied with the experience. If a dude ghosts them without rhyme or reason, they take it out on themselves believing to be caused by them. They question their time, sanity, looks, and personality falling into a depressed state.

You would meet another human naturally and grasp upon them based on common interests / desires out of life. Now because of big corporate entities and their hold on dating apps / social media as a whole, the human experience is behind a “paywall” of sorts. Dating apps are ruining the human experience of finding a romantic partner, the dating apps are hookup sites more than anything else and that is all it will be.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I think people have this idea of who they want and if the other person doesn't fit the bill they move on.

The concept of getting to know someone is lost because we think we can know someone in a couple weeks of hanging out which is really stupid.

The guys make it worse by overly catering to what they think women want.

Women make it worse by being emotionally shallow.

And you end up with a situation where nobody has any substance to show anyone because everyone's got too much pride to be vulnerable in a meaningful way.

Angelo75 · Answer

Well the most basic thing is that people nowadays got poisoned with the idea that falling in love and relationship/marriage is about what you can "GET" out of a relation.
So they go in just thinking about themselves in the first place.

The formula is supposed to be about wanting to make the other person happy MORE than wanting to make yourself happy. If both parties are focussing on putting the necessities of their partner BEFORE their own, they would automatically fall deeper and deeper in love.

But the crude reality is that nowadays people are mostly selfishly looking at what they can GET out of a relationship. So even when one person gets in a relationship thinking about what he/she can GIVE, there is a big chance that other person will only be focussing selfishly on his/herself. So it will be a one-sided relationship.
And what happens then? The one that used to have the correct attitude of giving will feel stupid and also become selfish.

MLGbreezy · Answer

Honestly I think woman don’t know how to take any accountability for their actions anymore they always divert or shift the blame slowly or majority on men.

And I think a lot of guys are a bit hypocritical and unrealistic in what they want in woman.

I’m so sick of hearing the word traditional being throwing around it’s such a freakin buzz word. Ya forget the way things used to work traditional wasn’t all that great either which is why we got to this point but we’ve gone so far left that the genders literary hate each other now and it’s fucking weird.

Then theirs that percentage that are for sure closeted gays. Especially a lot of you woman who don’t wanna admit it, I think we need a middle ground.

But a lot of people are both so stuck in the there idealistic and unrealistic imaginary world of what the opposite gender has to be to be desirable that we miss out on the reality.

bunnyboo24 · Answer

Too many options for women. I will have my profile up for 5 h and I get 100+likes and im average looking.. its crazy. I think men should be more selective and less pushy and women shouldn't just give themselves away (sex) as soon as they meet someone.

AgentG111 · Answer

Too many AI fake profiles and spam bots from nations like China and India.
Need a deal that says I'm a blank looking for a blank then make it flat out what you do or don't want in checks boxes.
Marriage / sex / one night stand / dumb ass who's fooled by a pretty face and gets roped into a life long commitment to some crazy female who's an absolute horrible human.
Religious needs/ political concerns / need to have a blood and mental health test and results and then review fingerprints and background and a VD check or clear as well

4ngelic · Answer

hookup culture dominating, dating apps becoming the default way to meet people, inflated standards on both sides, mainstream toxic content about the opposite gender (the manosphere/redpill for young men & radical feminism/wokism for young women)

Flowersareawsome22 · Answer

Millennials guys are mommas boy. It's better to stay single then married to a momma's boy when mom comes included in the package. I learn my lesson. Trust me it's best to stay single that means no headache no stressing out over a dude who can't wear his big boy pants.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Not enough shame for breaking up

Divorce parties are sometimes bigger than weddings

People will support and encourage a split as soon as anything goes wrong

It’s too volatile.

Used to be commitment meant something

And cheaters were branded as such and excommunicated.

It sounds primitive but it used to work

RavVid · Answer

I think it is confused as to purpose very badly. Is it just to have a fun time sexually or is it to form short term relationships or long term relationships?

People seem to want both but they are inconsistent with each other. With divorce rates at current levels long term is impossible and not to be entered into.

Seems to me inconsistent contradictory objectives is the major fundamental issue with dating.

FirePhoenixZ · Answer

Too many people chase attention, not connection. They want the thrill of being desired, not the responsibility of truly desiring someone back. Dating isn’t broken, people’s intentions are.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Wrong? in my opinion it's best time in history of the world for dating. There's a million options and you can easily reach out and generate leads. The stigma of woman not wanting to have sex on 1st 2nd date is removed. Not sure what people are complaining about but TBH since Covid dating has been pretty perfect.

Pohjolan · Answer

AI profiles, scammers and catfishes would be the biggest issues.

Dating apps and sites have to make a profit while men seeking a mate traditionally is socially discouraged.

A lot of western women don't take care of themselves reducing the attractive dating pool.

msc545 · Answer

Who in their right mind wants to spend time with a person who can:Wreck your life
Get you thrown in prison
Make you lose your job
Make you lose all your friends
Do all sorts of bad things to you just because they can
No matter what they say about you, no matter how false it is, they will be believed. The hell with that.

aceleon · Answer

too much people, too easy to reach, something that takes too much gives almost nothing in return.

if something is too many it losts it's value since it is very easy to replace.

and most relationships takes more than what they give.

CherryLove007 · Answer

A large lack of human empathy.  The dating scene is terrible because so many in the dating scene shouldn't be dating and apps are flooded with them. That's what I read and observe here.

Anonymous · Answer

Unrealistic expectations from women (see sprinkle sprinkle) and hookup culture on both sides.

Additionally women who are average at best (a 4 or 5) seeing them selves as perfect 10's and feeling like they deserve the top 1% of men, when they are only worthy of the lower 50%.

Unycorn · Answer

People think they can always find someone who is better than the actual partner. They are not patient. Dont want to work but a relationship is always work

MJVillarama · Answer

Everyone’s chasing validation instead of connection , Shoutout to Jared Laurence for that insight 💯

Anonymous · Answer

I think that it comes down to change.

Most Men simply don't get the opportunities or the tools to change and Women don't feel that they need to change and that's created the current dating world we are in where most Women keep dating the same types of Confident Guys and not finding the type of Guys that they truly desire and the majority of Men getting ignored by Women simply because they are not Confident enough.

jJanSmit · Answer

People are trying to get 'likes' in stead of showing interest in each other. That requires attention and investment of time and energy. And that's what's missing from the more and more digital generations. Call me old fashioned

Anonymous · Answer

It’s wrong in my opinion that people are being called racist if they say they are not particularly interested in dating a person from a certain race.

jshm2 · Answer

Nothing. It's is exactly what people deserve. They put in shit, but expect only "the best".

Anonymous · Answer

the heterosexual tradition of men asking women on a date has not translated well to online dating because women receive lots of messages and men do not therefore it does not work well for men

Alex-Snow · Answer

It seems like more of it is going toward dating apps. I'm only 20 but have usually been able to get dates etc. by getting to know a girl and talking IRL.

RHK36 · Answer

Men are fed up with with what they allowed and women are at an all time high of delusion based on their words and actions. People are more divided than ever because most people are just selfish jerks.

genericname85 · Answer

i only know the dating scene for the ages i'm dating and in that part of the dating scene, what's wrong with it is that there's few compelling options.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

People are skipping or avoiding the dating process altogether and just jumping straight to sex. But that doesn't solve anything. It just makes the situation worse.

beenherebefore · Answer

Poor values, lack of accountability, unrealistic expectations and the list goes on.

thegreenyogi · Answer

In my humble opinion it's the reasons why people choose to date.

mysteriousNicholas · Answer

More humility and more humble.  That's what's really needed 🌹

Quigly · Answer

Nobody dates to find Mr Right. They simply hookup with someone for a lifestyle.  The Government doesn't make money on love, it makes money on lifestyle. So That is what's sold to people

tzdc21 · Answer

You have just opened Pandora's box here with this question lol.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

People are looking to hook up, not looking for a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

I think what AviatorTom said is spot on, and will add that men and women do not respect or appreciate each other, and don't value marriage and family anymore.

kaucky1 · Answer

Just chaos nobody cares about others and the way others are treated just not right that's why there has to be some kind of protection

Ironco · Answer

Men just giving up on love. Women only wanting the top 1% of men only. Neither is right or wrong, just the way society is today.

DishLady · Answer

People make shallow choices.

LiamJHayden · Answer

For me? Nothing. In general? Too many timid guys and women with absurd expectations.

Anonymous · Answer

Extremism is the culprit. For example modern day feminism and “red pill” men are the problem. Each side encourages their side to hate the other side.

HighSchoolCustodian · Answer

They probably use to talking through Social Media. And it's for posting online. From what I’ve notice.

Jltakk · Answer

Gamification. Too many arbitrary rules for what's basically monkey brain biology.

Celticwolf78 · Answer

Everything is done with stupid dating app's that's why

Anonymous · Answer

People became fake and opportunitist because of the internet

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Everyone is selfish

chrissykerdock · Answer

guys are too afraid of commitment

Nikki1989 · Answer

Humanity.

Anonymous · Answer

I live in Ireland, here women are horrible to men and all foreigners say this.

Unap0logetic_ · Answer

The wrong ones seem to be dating.

DallasSteve · Answer

In a word, feminists.

exitseven · Answer

everyone has unrealistic expecttions.

JSmuve · Answer

A short supply of quality women

yulbsari · Answer

Lying liars... and their lies!

YesIWouldLikeFries · Answer

Women are entitled and too masculine.

Crankor · Answer

Unrealistic expectations

What exactly is currently wrong with the dating scene in your opinion?

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Everyone, What do you think is wrong with todays dating scene?

What exactly is currently wrong with the dating scene in your opinion?

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