Everyone, What do you think is wrong with todays dating scene?

Question

RomanticRealist · Accepted Answer

I don't think dating is overall worse than past generations, but we do have our challenges for sure. I'm glad to have grown up as a millennial when it comes to dating, as I couldn't do the even more overt sexist and conservative traditional norms of past generations. Not my thing.

I think for millennials (and Gen Z most likely) our problems are:

- Paradox of choice. I think the options seem endless on dating apps, so sometimes we focus on seeking perfection instead of deepening how we look at relationships and addressing any issues within ourselves. It's probably easier than ever to be extremely picky, which is both good and bad in some ways.

- That our first impressions are often based on a profile, which can be very different from the actual experience when you actual talk to and see that man (or woman). Guys who seem nice and chill at first, you talk and text/message and get excited and then meet them or even have one phone call and it's like, ohhhhhh - absolutely not. The negative traits that you can more easily pick up when actually having an in-person conversation with someone are temporarily hidden by the screen. This can lead to trying to screen out guys even more, unfortunately, perhaps making the first issue above worse sometimes.

- I think apps need to be better at helping you filter out people who don't share political beliefs. This is an age of heightened awareness of our division and an emboldened far right. I had/have no interest whatsoever. I would say I'm leftist and that still wouldn't stop them from messaging me and I'd have to find out after talking for a while what their beliefs were. I legit had at least one Trumper trying to date me and I have that I'm a socialist feminist on my profile. And I made it clear that I wasn't trying to hook up. To be fair, that would happen sometimes in person too. My old roommate was really into me and he was a moderate/conservative. He said he doesn't like when people are too far to the left when we were first getting to know each other. I then told I'm I'm all the way on the left and need my commie babe. He said, "I could be communist." What? Men kill me, I swear lol

I had to make sure I asked early on in messaging someone about their beliefs.

- I think certain personality types are especially isolated in the age where online messaging and social media can be your main way of socializing with people. It doesn't mean most people do that. When I go out to meetup groups, social situations, out to the park, etc. - people are everywhere. However, I do think things may be especially hard for people who aren't very extroverted and confident. And even we struggle with it sometimes. It's easy to rely on that as your connection with the world and that does impact dating and connections that could be made. This probably has affected social skills.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I will use Chinese new years celebrations as an example - I hate watching it cause it looks fake - their words are pre planned, their facial expressions are fake, the clothes are uncomfortable, their jokes are vain and do not disclose how they actually feel or think. A lot of men turn dates into procedures and impersonal processes and not emotionally intimate exchanges between caring and interested people and a lot of women under estimate the sacrifices guys make to impress them and they waste their money. My ex best friend was a shining example of a good connection - we talked on the phone for over 6 hours a week but we never spent more than $5.00 a week on each other. We would go swimming at the recreation facility for $2.00 a week and we would eat patties at the deli next door for $2.00 a week. We never met at restaurants and we never cooked for each other unless it was a special holiday. But we loved each other more than family members love each other and we were best friends for almost 19 years.

Spiritofn · Accepted Answer

I failed this... I shot my shit with a girl in grade 1 she wasn't interested..

Whole elementary school didn't talk to women after.. had 1 stupid relationship that same girl gr.1 came interested, but she was no longer in my class and I didn't give a Fok, real dumb lol. Come jr. high had a stupid relationship that I wasn't Interested in. Grade 10 had a sex marathon with my first real considered relationship I wasn't interested in her either but w/e let it flow. Failed that cheated on her with my best friends X... I moved towns and ya somehow that happened. I want to kill myself somedayys still because of it.. & then again got in a relationship after I didn't want to be in. That was my last relationship I was In. Besides off and on current relationship which I didn't want to be in either but at least she makes me the happiest in the world when she's acting right.

Basically I would push it to bad match making life isn't easy you have to push for raw carnal nature but at the same time be tender as the beast can be..

"In my next life" just gonna teachh my kid to follow his instincts as strong as he can while I give him her the proper balance of whayever I can provide. I want a daughter but I'm sure. I would be. 60x more prepared. for. a male. &. I wanted. A male first for. Years and years and. Years. I've wanted kids & felt ready since 18-19 years of age. But I had a hard time admitting it.

JSmuve · Accepted Answer

Women have too many options on social media/apps and men have too few, which leads to narcissism/simp culture and distorted dating perceptions

People tend to treat others like disposable objects and have little respect for other’s feelings and time

There’s a lack of effort and communication, and an expectation that men should do all of the heavy lifting, which makes it appear like women aren’t interested

Women don’t put much effort into appearing approachable, which shuts lots of men out of the dating market

There’s a pervasive shaming culture towards men which feminizes them while the female empowerment movement has only made women more masculine in attitude

We’re out of touch with what the other gender wants and society’s push towards encouraging independence has made us selfish where we only want temporary companionship before moving onto the next person

There's a lack of trust between the genders... everyone's always suspicious of the other's motives and assumes the worst

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Young people have grown up communicating through cell phones and texts instead of talking to each other and many of them are lacking in basic social skills. They are so afraid of each other that they don't call it "dating" because that would be an expression of caring, and that leaves you vulnerable; instead they call it "hanging out" and, if it doesn't work out, they send a text to break up and say to themselves, "No big deal! It's not like we were actually dating!"

pupluv45 · Answer

1. men sleep around too much. they expect women to put out by a certain date.

2. people lack social skills. back then , people used to have very good conversational skills. nowadays, if you take a look around. it is only older folks 45+ that have social skills. most people younger than that dont have it.

3. having smart phones, internet gives us the excuse not to strike up conversations with neighbors or go out into our community to meet others. how often do you stay home and just watch tv or go surf the net instead of walk around in your community to strike up a conversation with your neighbors? how often had you seen people bury their heads into their phones so they can avoid small talk in the elevator? now people wonder why they are still single at an older age. because you never get to know new people!!!

4. expectations are too high. when relationships are optional rather than a necessity to survival. this makes very fragile relationships. The convienience of leaving whenever you want, makes the relationship very easy breakable.

Gibbons44 · Answer

That instead of finding our best matching, or consentually building a life as-desired, we fall for the 'whoever grabs first, by coercion or cheating especially, wins' attitude.

There is too much of the globally tiny minority of blue eyed whites _having_ to make our girls make available to all others but not to ourselves, else we are 'racist' - instead of each matching to their closer IQ level and body characteristics and simply being good neighbours.

In turn, the blue eyed people effectively going extinct has hugely negative consequnces to finance, share markets, housing etc - it is an active reversal of Europe from enlightment into the dark middle ages. You can guess that, if that goes on, the prices of everything will skyrocket and governance as a concept will disappear, the world will go to tribalism, oppression and, most probably, continued warfare - until the blue eyed, the only ones eho can see the full spectrum of colours, can breed (and freely breathe) again.

Political 'correctness' will have you believe that it is better to stay on the course if economic collapse than to maintain freedom of expression and freedom of association (as well as the freedom to not associate with people one has no interest in nor the time for). That political correctness is anti-demicratic and anti-civil, it is absolutist oppresive, dictatorial.

RavVid · Answer

I think it is the pre-dating scene that is the problem.

In the past there was more social infrastructure for guys and girls to meet and decide if they liked each other. I'm thinking of local dances prior to the 60's. Probably nostalgia for a time long past on my part. If you go to a club it is a fairly hostile environment. One club in Australia has put in 'pink police' and you can get thrown out if you say hello and the girl doesn't like it. Or a girl catches your eye and you look at her.

Probably the girls are more reasonable than the club is but I have been regarded as a rapist at saying hello.

I like to go partner dancing venues. You can ask any girl for a dance and she'll say yes. In fact the only time a girl did say no, she chased after me and explained she had just refused a guy who was a bit touchy and of course she'd love to dance with me.

A great deal of difference...

catiecatie · Answer

I’ve honestly wondered that myself. I’m on dating apps and it seems like we can talk, but can’t get past the talking phase or if we do end up seeing each other either the guy doesn’t make a move or I get ghosted. Some times the guys can come off as a little desperate to me as well. Like back off and let me have some space. It’s easier to meet someone, but what happened to actually going out and having to meet someone somewhere and shoot your shot? Can we go back to those days? I mean that would be so much easier then just talking and then nothing comes out of it. Or if you see someone and you know that you two would work out then it’s like a waiting game. At this point I’m just tempted to add my crush on Facebook, he comes up as a friend suggestion, and he is also on the dating apps. I don't know what is being said about me at my old job, but it would be nice if we could just end this madness, as we have a lot in common.

Weapon77 · Answer

The short answer is we don't actually court each other anymore, and we are too obsessed with being in relationships to take our time and get good ones. We move on too quickly from ended relationships because we just HAVE to have someone, instead of waiting a few months or so to find a GOOD one. Too muvh fucking before we actually know how we feel about people too. I don't think like 90% of girls know that they if their body count is over 30 they've statistically probably fucked a murderer. That's a terrifying thought.

Gen_Z_Rando · Answer

The lack of romantic or fulfilling sex and care. People want to get off, which is fine, but if you want an actual relationship, maybe, just maybe, don't use the bs like tinder, bumble, or grindr cause let's be real here, it rarely results in healthy relationships. By now we should all be deeply aware of the lack of genuine romantic sex, might just be my experience of those apps, but really more people should seek actual relationships instead of f*ck buddies and hookups (though it is still obviously okay to do so, open relationships, polygamous ones, etc. are all a part of being a person, just chill a bit and take your time)

lucasnabizada · Answer

Over-reliance on materialism and casual sex- over the considerations of actual substance and value in people.

Men and women both express that they want a lasting partner but are attracted by stereotypes of the opposite of what they are looking for. A lot of times modern dating is nothing more than a transaction of sex/attention for money/financial incentive.(I don't mean cash i mean restaurants, gifts, rings, weddings etc) There are really little feelings involved there even if people want to convince themselves there are.

Anonymous · Answer

That many people take it too fast and without thinking, and some even get with others because they don't want to be alone or just for fun, not because they truly like the person. And the empowerment movement or whatever isn't helping, fucking around just to get off isn't beneficial for no one.

Meet people, if you start having interest towards someone and real feelings that don't involve sexual thoughts, then make a move to get closer to that person, have healthy fun together, truly meet each other, it's not all about sex, that can wait, don't rush, sex's just part of a relationship, no relationship lasts on sex only, a relationship depends solely on the connection two people have.

NZGirl07 · Answer

I think online dating has been a negative thing in a few ways, with people being superfical, always thinking they can find someone better instead of actually getting to know a person. And it also takes the fun out of dating a bit, with the crushing, and the unknown.

I also think so many people are stuck in unhappy "situationships" where the relationship is not labelled, but one person is always unsatisfied and wanting more.

electromagnetic · Answer

I have no been in the dating scene in a couple of years but my friend recently went on a date with some dude.

first date, all good, second, good. Then he offers to take her out on a third. They make plans, confirm and the day it’s suppose to happen, he disappeared. Never to be heard from again.

She says she believes a lot of jokes now are disingenuous about their intentions when it comes to dating. Or don’t have the guts to say they’re not interested anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

Nothing wrong - it truly depends on yourself.
Some people don’t want to date, some people want a relationship. Some folks enjoy their solitude and some people are co dependant.
I don’t date so I find nothing wrong with it.
Besides, we don’t need relationships in this day and age anyway. I’ve had sex before and didn’t care for how I was treated out of the bedroom, it’s simply not worth it.
My life’s busy and I don’t have time or capacity to put up with someone’s crap.
Next Question.

jshm2 · Answer

Nothing.

The thing "wrong" is with people themselves. Either they are "porned up" and think they just have to shoot their shit like they see in porn, to get instant sex. Or they are incels/femcels who think being a fucking asshole but passing it off as "assertive" is what it takes.

AdithyaR · Answer

People aren't honest.
There's nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, wanting kids, wanting friends with benefits or wanting a one night stand. Just that you have to be honest about it.
I see way too many cases of people lying to get what they want and leaving once they do or hidjotheir actual needs and later causing issues cause of that.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Nothing. If your a man 17-25 it's probably tough and it's going to take you some time to fully grasp why it's tough for you at that age but overall, in my opinion dating couldn't be better rn. More ways to meet woman, less women who are sexually repressed, it's pretty awesome rn.

Hanrej · Answer

That everyone on the dating scene is objectifying the other and trying to manipulate said person to fit into their own life.

We need to understand that very few wishes their life to depend on someone else or feel like they're losing control. The datingscene need to be about spending quality time rather than be thought of as a means to an end.

Paulalove98 · Answer

The hookup culture and people have stopped trying to make an effort into a real relationship, so people just give up when one thing goes wrong, nobody communicates their feelings either, it’s all a mess.

tina_695 · Answer

The hookup culture has ruined everything because sex is easy
People have lot of trust issues so fear of falling in love
Fear of commitment
Dating apps has corrupted everyone as there is no seriousness

UnculturedBrute · Answer

- Social media has destroyed the way people communicate with each other. People are unable to engage in conversations that last longer than 2 minutes because 10 second clips on TikTok and Instagram have shortened their attention spans.

- Dating apps and texting has made it much easier for people to lie to each other before going out on a date. Guys lie about they're income or height, whereas girls disguise themselves with makeup in airbrushed photos.

inhua · Answer

when society turns boys into girls and girls into boys

katiesmuff · Answer

I don't think they've figured it out yet that some things have to be accomplished without that smartphone.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I think many people just swipe or give up on modern methods like datingsites or apps too easily. Yes there are creeps there but that doesn't mean that there aren't good men on those same apps.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I sometimes think it's effort and struggling to build a relationship with someone. Or just getting to know someone is tough too.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Nobody wants to communicate. We’re all traumatised let’s talk about it so we can make things work between us.

annabananna · Answer

People are too self involved and don’t take time out to ReALLY get to know they other person for who they are. You need someone you can love and appreciate for who they are and vice versa.

Tomisworthless · Answer

Nothing. 80% of women only entertain the top 20% of men leaving the rest of us out to dry. Some may get lucky and find relationships but others like me remain virgins and get the women in our 30s used with 300,000 miles on her

cth2188 · Answer

It's oversexualized and everyone wants to rush into dating and sex. I don't date and haven't since 2014.

LiamJHayden · Answer

1. Too many people have absurd standards.  2. People are often not upfront about their intentions. 3. Too many options.

Manoftheeast · Answer

Men are spoiled Women are misguided I think.. I'm not sure

Anonymous · Answer

Too many issues that they’re not dealing with nut instead projecting it into their relationships, perpetuating that trauma to others who then find it harder to trust.

Minahh · Answer

- lies - traumatized people - too many options - dating apps - ghosting  - manipulation

Pohjolan · Answer

People seeking long term relationships prioritising looks when it comes to seeking a mate despite of that having very little predictability for a successful long term relationship.

ReneeIsCool2 · Answer

I think everyone is afraid to make the first move. Guys don't want to make the girl uncomfortable if he misread her signals and girls don't want to seem desperate. This just creates a stalemate and no one can start dating.

fonduegirl · Answer

The fact we don't people as fellow human beings.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

People set their standards too high.

Anonymous · Answer

Only that some people are too lazy to make an effort to make things work, they quit before they have even started.

Exterminatore · Answer

Well…the entire scene is made up of people. So there’s problem number 1.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

I'd say it's because women have turned dating into a job interview instead of getting to know one another.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

No suitable women for serious monogamous dating. Why bother bringing anything to the table when they bring nothing to the table?

Anonymous · Answer

Nobody wants an actual PARTNERSHIP. They want a fan to monument that is them. This is why I don't even ask women out anymore.

LegendaryDater · Answer

There is no scene. There hasn't be any kind of scene since the 60's and 70's.

Anonymous · Answer

evlenmeden önce karı-koca ilişkisi içinde yaşamak. Ayrıca kadınları erkekleştirmek. cinsiyeti yok etmek. erkekleri evlilikten çıkarmak için doğum yapan bir kadını küçük düşürmek

OnTheLevel · Answer

Too much reliance on social media and too little face-to-face interaction.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Women ignoring 80% of Guys and only paying Attention to the top 10 to 20% of Guys.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

The internet probably. Granted I got a lot, well a good amount of ass from it.

hismave · Answer

People are taking advantage of others and they are all liers

Anonymous · Answer

Too many people who are looking for a good date and not a good partner.

Flower7 · Answer

Too much of finding dates online.

Anonymous · Answer

Women only caring about themselves in the relationship.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Ignorance and dishonesty

Random_g · Answer

It changed when Hollywood changed...

sheikalana · Answer

Dating apps and social media.

DaveToo · Answer

Yeah, I'm too old to participate.

Luopio27 · Answer

Ever rising standsrds.

RockyHammock · Answer

Whats your opinion OP?

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

I don't know. I gave up.

notwoke · Answer

most of the women are too fat

driven159 · Answer

the crazy people stupid people

saturnnn · Answer

hookup culture and situationships

Anonymous · Answer

I failed this

Everyone, What do you think is wrong with todays dating scene?

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What exactly is currently wrong with the dating scene in your opinion?

Everyone, What do you think is wrong with todays dating scene?

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What exactly is currently wrong with the dating scene in your opinion?

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