If The Worst A Girl Can Say Is "No", Why Are So Many Guys Still So Hesitant To Ask Girls Out?

Question

BobbieBoy666 · Accepted Answer

Guys are often hesitant to ask girls out due to fear of rejection, social anxiety, and a lack of confidence. Other factors include a perceived "intimidation factor," not knowing how to approach someone, and the fear that rejection could be publicly witnessed.

Psychological and emotional factors
Fear of rejection: This is a primary reason, as rejection can be hurtful, especially if a guy is particularly interested in the girl.
Anxiety and shyness: Many men experience significant anxiety or shyness in romantic situations, which can be paralyzing.
Insecurity: Men may have their own insecurities and fears about failure or not being good enough, which makes asking someone out feel like a huge risk.

Social and skill-based factors
Lack of approach skills: Some men may not know how to start a conversation or handle the social dynamics of asking someone out.
Intimidation: A woman's confidence or perceived attractiveness can be intimidating to some men, causing them to freeze up.
Fear of public perception: Some guys worry about how others will react to a rejection, fearing it will make them seem undesirable to other women.

Confidence and experience
Lack of practice: Men who have never asked a girl out are less likely to have the skills and confidence to do so.
Overthinking: Guys may overthink the interaction, leading to a paralysis where they can't take action.
Feeling a high-stakes situation: Asking someone out can feel like an extremely high-stakes event, especially if there is no prior interaction, which can cause hesitation.

The common saying "the worst a girl can say is 'no'" simplifies a complex mix of social and psychological factors that contribute to male hesitation. Guys' reluctance to ask girls out often stems from a combination of:
Fear of Rejection: While a simple "no" is the literal worst outcome, the emotional weight of rejection can feel significant. It can be interpreted as a judgment of their self-worth, leading to feelings of embarrassment, shame, or inadequacy [1].
Social Anxiety and Public Image: Men may worry not only about the direct rejection from the girl but also about how the interaction is perceived by others nearby. Fear of public humiliation or being seen as "creepy" or "desperate" can be a powerful deterrent [1].
Uncertainty and Lack of Experience: Many men feel unsure about the "right" way to ask someone out, how to read social cues, or what to do if the conversation is awkward. This lack of clear social scripts can lead to paralysis [1].
Vulnerability: Asking someone out requires putting oneself in a vulnerable position. Men are often socialized to be strong and unemotional, making vulnerability a challenging experience to navigate [1].
The Emotional Aftermath: The phrase "no" only describes the immediate moment, not the potential emotional fallout that can linger, such as dwelling on the rejection, questioning the friendship (if one existed), or a general blow to confidence that affects future interactions [1].
Ultimately, the perceived risk extends far beyond that single word, encompassing potential emotional pain and social consequences that many find daunting enough to avoid the interaction altogether [1].

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

Men were designed by nature to be the hunters. That is why they are far more competitive than women. You lose at the hunt and you starve to death. It's in their genes.

Part of their hunting skills are about bagging the desirable girl and bringing her back to the cave to mate with. They are the initiators when it comes to relationships with women. And they don't like losing one bit, especially before they even have a chance to get in the game!

But in reality it's more than just a game to them, it's survival. So when he hears "no" he might as well be hearing "you are a loser at the mission you were designed for." And that hurts bad.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Because some girls, especially in high school and middle school, can be really rude about saying no. At least that’s my best guess.

On the other hand, some guys if you’re sweet and polite will think that you don’t really mean your “no,” so there is that.

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

Because that is not the worst thing that can happen. It is not even close to being the worst thing that can happen. He could be accused of being a creep. He could be accused of sexual assault. He could expelled from college or lose his job.

ManOnFire · Answer

Because guys can see the demeanors that girls wear on their faces and in their body language that's supposed to discourage men from approaching, then later these girls wonder why dudes don't want to talk them, even though that is what they wanted.

Girls learned to start carrying themselves this way because of the Bitch image that was largely taught to them through music, TV, movies, and high school back in my day, but later what they learned through the advent of social media. So now in today's world it has stuck with them and is an unhealthy norm in how they carry themselves.

And another good point that an Anon answered is that she will try to tell everyone the guy is a creep. A guy can do absolutely nothing wrong in something he said or did, but a girl will still try to negatively depict him that way because they know people will believe it without ever having heard his side of the story. Girls are so desperate to believe guys want them to the point of trying to even tell lies about what little exchange they have with one.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Well, “no” isn’t the worst she can say. It’s second only to the nicest she can say, which is “No, but thank you for asking”.
Rejection is only “scary” because we evolved from animals with a strict biological imperative. Mate, or your bloodline dies. It’s as strong in some species as the need to eat or drink.
Even as we evolved, women have always been the keepers of acceptance. A man without a woman is no man at all. This even got perverted into a man with multiple women is more manly than a man with only one woman. Ell oh ell!
So a woman’s rejection very often led to more rejection. Conversely, women are drawn to men who have a good reputation among women, even those who are or otherwise appear to be in a committed relationship with one or more other women. The feminist rhetoric about this being a “man’s world” is and always has been total hooey. Women own the whispers that make and break men. And that’s not nothin’.

Summeroflove · Answer

Unfortunately that’s not the worst someone can say. Now, I want to make it clear that what some people call harassment is a insult to real victims of harassment. Asking someone on a date isn’t harassing someone I digress.

Some men are just worried about roomers being spread while rejection hurts and it’s super awkward. A lot of men (and women for this matter) are worried about what’s going to be said to other people.

Another thing is that if a woman acts unapproachable maybe she has RBF without realizing it, maybe she’s rejected a lot of men before possibly even harshly as well as he knows she’s said things to others, or maybe she’s closed off. I don’t know it can be discouraging.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because most people, men and women fear rejection , so they keep their mouths shut because they lack confidence and self esteem within themselves or they are straight up shy. Rejection sucks but it’s not the worst thing , I rather take the chance then not take the chance at all and miss my opportunity to do so , so when I see a beautiful girl that catches my eye , I go for it , cuz I am not shy , I use to be when I was younger until I realized it was stupid to be that way

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Guys anticipate rejection and catastrophize the process. They think that when she says "no," the earth will open up and swallow them as the rest of the world laughs at them.

AviatorTom · Answer

We guys don't like being rejected, and neither do you girls.

Sunrising · Answer

Perhaps these reasons too.

I. She might be embarrassed.

2. She might have an enormous boyfriend watching.

3. You might be embarrassed.

4. She might be with her Mum and Dad.

5. She might not be as nice as you think.

6. She might ridicule you in front of everyone.

7. She might be younger than you think.

8. Her big brother might not approve of you.

9. Her parents might not approve of you.

10. You might make a fool of yourself.

I'm sure there must be hundreds of reasons why someone should be nervous of asking a girl out. 🤣

art84 · Answer

I asked out a girl at my at church and she said yes. She was in high school and I was in college so about 3 years difference. We never went out though when I asked her out, I was nervous and she was surprised I asked her out. She gave me her and I called her a few times for the date. She eventually came around after 5 times that she was in a relationship and sorry. There was a sound of sadness in her voice as she hanged up. If she had told me "no I am in a relationship" it would probably hurt though least she would be honest. Also i had to see her every Sunday before she moved to another church.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

Probably because when asking someone out it puts you in a really vulnerable state and when it doesn't go how you like it can be devastating.

Also because asking someone out could potentially (but of course not always) ruin a friendship. Sometimes for the other person it can feel really bad for them when they assume you're just their friend but it turns out you have romantic feelings for them. They might question if you were really ever their friend or just looking to get into their pants.

Also when you "ask someone out" it can be assumed that you really care for the person and are not looking for just a one night stand. And if the other person doesn't feel the same way then it can hurt a lot.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I've been working on this theory that the real reason a lot of guys aren't asking women out has more to do with what happens if the woman says yes, instead of what happens if she says no.

Because a woman saying yes means that you need to be able to facilitate and cultivate a relationship with her. A lot of guys don't feel like they have the wherewithal to do that.

Anonymous · Answer

Because no is NOT the worst a girl can say. Most men have caught on to the fact that most women today either do not want a relationship. Or what a relationship that is completely on her terms (which is not a relationship). Most guys know that most women are only in the male-female interaction just for the lift she gets from flirting. And that holds no value to a man. Add to that that most the flirting most women do today is just to see what kind of dance the guy will do for her. How can he amuse her.

The secret is out. Guys knows this is just a game to most women. So guys are just walking away and leaving her to only the guys that want to play games.

OneViewpoint · Answer

This ain't rocket science... MEN : A lot of men are immature unhealthy personalities who can't cope with rejection even when it's handled as politely as possible. They have low self esteem have been losers their entire life. So every rejection seems like an attack on them. They simply stop interacting to avoid getting rejected. Thereby ending any chance of ever being successful. And now they're an Incel. WOMEN : A lot of women these days are selfish little social media addicted bitches with an irrational sense of entitlement. They are immature unhealthy personalities just like the guys trying to interact with them. What can go wrong. The trick is for normal healthy personalities, male or female, to be able to identify the idiots and assholes and avoid them.

Angelo75 · Answer

Cuz a lot of time, guys will base their self-value on how others view them. And getting rejected by a girl feels like you are less valuable. Hence... fear of rejection.

So a lot of times it's easier just to passively and safely steer free.

Kaylea21 · Answer

Cause feelings are still hurt, and ego, cause unfortunately humans still care what other humans think, and that humiliation of the fact that that person rejected you does lower your ego a bit, and the more you get told no, the more ur confidence in you being wanted lowers

Luopio27 · Answer

Because rejection hurts.
When all you known is nothing but rejection, only then you truly understand how much those words hurt more than not asking them out, at all!

Those who are succesful in the dating world will never know the pain of constant rejection!

Caughtulookin · Answer

Women today are more dishonest and heartless than they have ever been. The worst isn't no because they have been given the power to destroy lives with lies and thats exactly what they are doing. Its just like black people because now that they have more rights they are taking revenge against the innocent because the guilty did them wrong.

zagor · Answer

But it isn't. Where I used to work one of the guys asked one of our co-workers out and she didn't just say no; one of the other girls there told me she basically told other girls there about it as something like "eww, as if!". The girl who told me this thought it was extremely rude of her and so did I.

msc545 · Answer

Now the worst a girl can say is, "He harassed me," or "He touched me," or "He raped me," or "He bothered me," or any one of a number of things like that to the police or to an attorney, and then your life is really in the sewer.

This is why we don't ask women out.

Cormac995 · Answer

Because No ISN"T the worst thing they can say. They might laugh at you and make fun of you, they might insult you, call you a creep or if you're really unlucky they might even claim you harassed or worse assaulted them.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

The possibility of rejection.
A guy's got his confidence up, he thinks he MIGHT have a pretty good chance, he asks her, she says, "No.", it's quit the let down!! How would you feel if you asked a guy and he told you, "No."?

Lliam · Answer

Because "No" isn't the worst a girl can say. Worse would be to insult him or laugh or act creeped out. Not all girls are polite. Some are cruel and can really hurt guy's egos.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Because guys can’t even handle a simple no these days It’s sad  I myself had to thicken my own skin to talk to girl It was worth it

RavVid · Answer

If it is to be believed, No is not the worst that a girl might do. A photo essay on Tik Tok might be. There would seem a lot of exaggeration currently.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

It'a humiliating, ego shattering and morale breaking. Like, how can you say "No" to ME? It makes me feel like a failure that I couldn't even achieve such simple task like seducing a woman

godfatherfan · Answer

Nowadays, women have such shitty attitudes , why bother? Let them start making the first moves.

exitseven · Answer

I had a friend that gave me that exact advice. I sort of created an whole narrative that I used when I asked out a girl that incorporated that advice. One year I went 4 for 4 using it.

Anonymous · Answer

She can laugh, that's even worse than no, isn't it? She can feel offended for you asking her out, also worse.. No isn't the worst she can do...

Godihateyou · Answer

3rd wave feminism. Only fans culture. Girls as young as 16 with double digit body counts, nose rings, danger hair, haunted abortion pussies. No thanks. American men are looking for based Catholic south American, Ukrainian, Russian, South East Asian woman.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Because their approaches can be extremely awkward and aggressive, triggering harassment claims. Also, many guys grew up in participation trophy schools and cannot deal with rejection at all.

slatyb · Answer

Because they take a "no" as an indication of their worth. It's not.

sage2021 · Answer

Because of these social media cookie cutter women having such standards or the guy can talk to the hand. ✋️

Likes2drive · Answer

Maybe it’s the awkwardness of having to still see them again when they know how you feel now and you still have to see them sometime or work with them

Alex-Snow · Answer

They should not be. You will not get a yes unless you try or ask!

guesswhereivebeen · Answer

Because they are to pussy to try to get pussy… or they think girls will hit on them… or they probably just have no confidence..

Nerdvana · Answer

1 no - ok, it happens 6 no's - maybe just some bad luck 29 no's - I give up

Rangers · Answer

Realistically, the worst she'll do is laugh in your face

shortster · Answer

If all I had to worry about was a no; then I would ask women out in person.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Simply because it is not the worst thing that can happen, Even Girls know that.

dragoblack · Answer

"No" is not the only thing she could say and it could be so much worse.

Anonymous · Answer

IBecause it's FAR from the worst she can say. She can go lie online and ruin your life.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Beats me. Every attempt is another opportunity to get better at it! Put your ego away and aim for the 10.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

A lot of just dont even want to pursue women in the first place by the way

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

It's pretty obvious, isn't it? People see rejection as "I'm an unworthy person" rather than "This person didn't want to go out with me but it doesn't mean I'm unworthy"

Anonymous · Answer

I've always wondered why girls never ask guys out?

Anonymous · Answer

It's illegal to approach a woman here, part of the MeToo statutes

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

I'm not hesitant, they just say "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm not looking for a relationship right now"

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Because that's not the worst thing that can happen. You can literally be arrested and put in jail for talking to the wrong girl.

Nice222 · Answer

Because she might say yes. Then there is a whole lot of more problems to deal with.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they are shy, introverted, and they lack self-confidence. It's not just fear of rejection, they are also afraid that the girl will mock them, or get angry at them.

Anonymous · Answer

The worst thing she can do is tell everyone he's a creep.

Thot_Stomper · Answer

What's this word "No" that you speak of?

Twalli · Answer

We don't like rejection. We want to date the person we ask out.

noohair · Answer

The male ego is as fragile as an egg. Once broken it does not go back together easily.

chrissykerdock · Answer

because a girl will bite

Anonymous · Answer

nope. the worst is a false MeToo accusation

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Getting turned down a zillion times.

robocop666 · Answer

cause they tell all their friends.

Jennz6 · Answer

They are shy

If The Worst A Girl Can Say Is "No", Why Are So Many Guys Still So Hesitant To Ask Girls Out?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

If The Worst A Girl Can Say Is "No", Why Are So Many Guys Still So Hesitant To Ask Girls Out?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.