Is it normal to feel insecure when your partner is an influencer with tons of influencer friends?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a fitness influencer. He never posts me on his account because he said it’s unrelated to his content - plus I also don’t have social media. Lately he’s been getting so much more followers and exposures from his non fitness influencer friends and local celebrities. I’m happy that he’s getting acknowledged but I’m also insecure by the amount of attention from other popular female influencers… especially since no one knows about my existence in his social media.

I know I’m probably just being insecure, but I would love to have him at least have one post of me 🥲 especially since he used to post his ex a lot back on his personal account (that he no longer uses).

[HollyK21]

In his defense, there are plenty of influencers who don’t post about their relationships and you probably wouldn’t even know they were in one. Like Jerseyyjoe, he’s been in a very long term relationship but I had no clue, he only posts his dancing content and collabs.


At the end of the day though, every situation is different and I really think it all comes down to knowing who you’re dealing with. My fiancé is a 6’7 athlete, handsome and has a great sense of fashion. I’m not oblivious to the attention he gets, whether it’s because of his height, style or women trying to orbit around him because he’s good looking. Sure I could burden myself with insecurities about a more attractive woman coming into his orbit, but I don’t worry about that because I don’t worry about him. I know he’s loyal to me and even if a woman tries getting his attention at the bar if I look over at him his eyes are glued to the tv, focused on his food or he’s talking to me.


Is your boyfriend providing you with a sense of security and reassurance? Or is he gradually switching up on you as his platform grows? Because if that’s the case even if he were to post you, it wouldn’t keep him. It wouldn’t keep women out of his dms or keep him from replying to them if that’s the sort of man he is. So if you feel assured that you’re dealing with a good man then you’ve got nothing to be insecure about.

[Abbycado]

I am guessing most don't post about relationships because that would be detrimental to their follower count. Better to give the illusion they are single to give people obsessed with them hope.

[HollyK21]

That is a great point Abby!

[Abbycado]

If I channel my inner teen brain, who would I be more likely to obsess over and follow? The hunk that is single, or the hunk that fawns all over his girlfriend online that I am subjected to constantly?

Yeah, it is likely a "business" decision to not overplay the relationship or really mention it at all, in my opinion.

[HollyK21]

That could definitely be the case! I also think it depends on what sort of platform this man is trying to grow, along with who he’s trying to attract. As a fitness influencer, I’m not sure what his prerogative would be, like are you trying to attract the female gaze, or people who are into working out? Like for a cooking content page, I’d imagine mainly seeing all of the meals they make/eat. Of course they could include their partner or family, but if the main focus is food I’d imagine that being the priority.

Depending on when the asker and him got together, I wonder what was his content prior? She mentioned that he’d post his ex on his private page, and I’m guessing Asker made that differentiation if it’s not his fitness platform. So to me it’s sounding like the content he’s trying to create on his influencer page doesn’t include sharing aspects of his personal life, like his romantic relationship, maybe even family. So it’s like the Asker shouldn’t pout because he isn’t changing his content to appease her or sooth her doubts. Also asker, I’m sure you’re reading this exchange so feel free to chime in and correct any of this if it’s wrong! Abby and I are just chatting per usual lol.

[Asker]

I think the reason that I’m insecure is because my boyfriend has a flirty personality. He also has a history of breaking my trust by commenting on his female friend’s posts and even on his ex’s hyping them up but never ever commenting on mine (back when I had social media). The reason I deleted social media was because I couldn’t stand seeing him hype other girls up…

[HollyK21]

In my opinion that’s quite a bit different than him not posting you amongst his fitness content. There’s other issues at play that honestly sound problematic, and I don’t blame you for not having peace of mind. I think this goes along with what I was saying though, that if he’s not a good guy it won’t matter whether he posts you or not, it won’t stop him from doing what he does, or stop women from contact him. He’s already broken your trust and shown that he’s gonna do his own thing whether you like it or not, I don’t think that’s a good person to have as a boyfriend.

[Alex-Snow]

He just has a different life. Hs it affected your sex life with him?

[Asker]

No. But he does have a flirty personality and would comment on other girls’ posts, acting as if he’s single…

[Alex-Snow]

That is wrong.. why would he want to appear single. It is probably to boost his ego. I'd be careful... do u think he would ever cheat on you?

[jahaims]

You are with a mentally ill person. Influencer = mentally ill

[Anonymous]

It's not really normal, I have some friends who are influencers, but I don't mind that at all.