Could you handle being in a relationship with someone who is insecure?

Question

I loved my ex, and many other girls were into him. But he still had secret insecurities due to his past traumas. So a lot of the time I had to deal with his insecurities. It wasn't easy...

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Oof, dealing with a partner's insecurities can definitely be tough, I get that. It's not easy having to constantly reassure someone or walk on eggshells around their triggers. That kind of emotional labor can really wear you down over time.

At the same time, I totally understand where that insecurity comes from - past traumas and wounds can really mess with someone's self-esteem and ability to trust. As frustrating as it is, try to have some empathy there. It's not an easy thing to overcome.

Honestly, whether or not I could handle being in a relationship with an insecure partner would depend a lot on the specific situation. If they're willing to work on it and communicate openly, that's a good sign. But if it's constant drama and you're always having to prop them up, that might be too draining.

You really have to weigh if you have the emotional bandwidth and patience to support someone through their insecurities. It's noble if you do, but you also have to make sure your own needs are being met. Setting clear boundaries and not taking on more than you can handle is super important.

At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you. If the relationship is making you miserable more often than not, it might be time to reevaluate things. You deserve to be with someone who can give you the love and stability you need, not constantly pull you down.

It's a tricky balance, for sure. But don't be afraid to put yourself first. Your happiness and well-being have to be the priority. If an insecure partner is hurting more than helping, don't feel guilty about walking away. You got this, girl!

Hellraiser1984 · Accepted Answer

Women are not perfect and will never believe that. Women seem to think they can be seriously f Ed as a person and men should just accept it because they're pretty and men should love me. You can be some crack ho and men are just supposed to put up with it. If a guy even cries because his mom died you'll leave because you see him as weak. If he's had a bad day at work and just wants to lay in bed and decompress you get pissed off because everything is supposed to be about you. EVERYONE has insecurities and if they say they don't they're usually some arrogant a hole. Guys usually hide them to look like they're some kind of bad ass. Women are full of insecurities that's it why you take 2 hours to get dressed and put on makeup, that's why you constantly compare yourself to a model, you whine so much when a guy doesn't notice your new hair style or nail polish color. Women are nothing but insecurities. Plus on top of that the only ones that seem to want to go to college and make something of themselves are the lesbians. They don't rely on men to get through life. They don't need a man for anything. If they want that designer purse they save and work for it. Hetero women are lazy and shallow, they believe they're a princess and men should buy them things and shouldn't have to work because they're pretty.

fartingspinster · Accepted Answer

Depends... insecure but knows how to handle it themselves but just shares with you so you can understand them better and its a very vulnerable tender moment? GREEN FLAG

If its insecurity mashed with unregulated emotions thats a mixture of defeat and anger... RED FLAG.
They will put all the weight of their insecurities onto you and sometimes won't even believe you love them so they feel shame and go down a steeper roller coaster. Its insanity in steroids.

I prefer insecurities that come from a mature person who has done the work to confront them.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

To be fair, we're all A LITTLE insecure, so it's not really fair to expect those around us to be 100% confident. However having said that I was married to a very insecure sort of twerp who mistrusted me because HE wasn't trustworthy, so it really ran my nerves into the ground till I was burnt out. When you connect with a person, check how solid their ego is and see if they're constantly testing and grilling you... then they're not secure about themselves.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the delicate dance of love with someone harboring insecurities! My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help you navigate these choppy waters. Insecurity in a partner can be exhausting, like a never-ending emotional roller-coaster, but it also opens doors to grow together. It's paramount to maintain healthy communication and remind them of their worth. Being patient and understanding can do wonders, but don't forget to take care of yourself too. 🌟 If both partners work on these issues together, it could be a chance to deepen your connection. Flaring up a love cocktail with trust and assurance might just be the right recipe! 😘

Finchie40 · Answer

A little bit of insecurities I can handle but extreme insecurities, not so much , someone that has extreme insecurities should seek counseling and get professional help , especially if they suffered trauma in the past. So if they are willing to get help then I would more than likely stand by their side , but if they chose not to get help then I would move on from them

OneViewpoint · Answer

Nope! Been there / done that. An insecure personality can suck up lots of your time trying to appease them and cause a LOT of conflict and resentment. From what I've seen, they tend to not be fixable. They will generally choose to wallow in their insecurities rather than work on changing no matter how much parise and support you give them.

Just one of the reasons I don't interact with most women and I'm very careful about who I surround myself with. It's a low slow path getting to know me. I'm evaluating you the whole time.

Angxl3120 · Answer

Ofcourse, I need to make sure he's well, thats what we're meant to do, my boyfriend well he's not really used to having a girlfriend and is kinda insecure about himself or if he would be enough, so its my task to not make him feel like that and to comfort him

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Depends on the person I suppose. Can you handle someone that is insecure? If not then bounce out. If you can and the desire to be with them is there, that's the position I've been in for years and I can handle it. But just because I can handle isn't going to make me pass judgement on someone that can't, knows they can't, and just boots a potential partner. I mean I've had to do that to side chicks here and there because my bottom bitch is insecure, so she gotta go.

Screenwriter · Answer

IT sounds like his degree of insecurity weighed too heavily on you.

Whenever I hear the word "trauma" it worries me. The only way people get over trauma is through years of supportivve therapy. No SO can perform that kind of work.

And most importantly, the person suffering the trauma has to participate in their recovery and realize no partner can do that for them.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Yea insecurities at the end of the day come from giving a shit, I've realized security comes from not giving a shit about anything and I dont know how healthy that can be, if someone is insecure about something I would imagine they to some extend care about how others see that and even tho too much of this is a bad thing, some of it can be a good thing, imagine someone so secure they don't care about your opinion even if you are supposedly the most important thing in their life.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yeah, I mean we'll have to handle something that we find unpleasant from our SO.. It's a flaw, and we all have flaws that the other person will have to deal with.. Yeah some flaws are not salvageable, and an insecure person depending on the level can be almost impossible to deal with, but if they are willing to see the error in their thinking, it might just work yet..

Blunky · Answer

I feel like it's my duty to help my partner with their insecurities, but I've also been burned heavily by them. I make it a point now that I accept their insecurities but if they keep applying them to me instead of working on them and learning to trust -me- more, we're done.

Crimsyjo · Answer

Yes of course but they should get better and you should be enough if their insecurities are about how they look and being worthy and stuff. I like putting in the effort to show my love and appreciation but if they keep on and on it would get draining for sure.

thedirtymike · Answer

I think it depends on the situation and mostly depends on what they are insecure about. Not only that but more importantly it depends on who it is that is insecure. For example I think that it is honestly very common for women to be insecure about something to an extent. So if for me being a man in a traditional male dominant relationship it is easy to handle, it is honestly kinda normalized in my opinion. Just like in the movies when the girl always asks the guy ,”does this dress make me look fat”. I feel like it’s normal because in a relationship the guy is supposed to be the strong one, or the backbone of the relationship. Now if I were in a woman’s shoes and I were to see the man that is supposed to be the strong one in the relationship being upset and insecure I feel like if I could handle it and it didn’t scare me away. I feel like if it were to continue that it would naturally cause problems in the future.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Yes, I’ve handled this in past relationships. But when that person isn’t working on themselves and the insecurities cause repeated challenges, then it’s less than ideal. While I think everyone has some level of insecurities, def some run deeper than others and can violate trust, yk

TCredo · Answer

Great question. I think it depends on the level of insecurity. If it's mild, ok. But if it is a constant drum beat, then I think I'd grow tired of it :)

Staximus · Answer

I guess that would depend on her level of insecurity and how it affects the relationship. I would give her a chance and try to put her insecurities to rest. If she's always badgering me and doesn't trust me, I'm not going to deal with that. I'm not her shitty ex.

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, insecure people are so much hard work to be around. They are draining.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Depends on the insecurity I suppose and how severe it is.

Vevv123 · Answer

Everyone has insecurities. They form a part of a persons identity. They come from various sources like life experiences, relationships, society, etc.

Miah06 · Answer

Naw. They will usually try to force them on you, and make you feel like a bad person, because they are insecure

slatyb · Answer

Everyone has insecurities. That's ok as long as they own them. When they make their insecurities other people's problem, they aren't ready for a relationship.

Spencer10 · Answer

I would probably not deal well with this. My jam is a woman who is strong and confident... so I am afraid a insecure woman would not get very far with me.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

It is ok, as long as it doesn't lead to clinginess. I think everyone is going to be insecure about something.

RedThread · Answer

No, they should work on themselves before entering into a relationship. Insecure people are usually extremely jealous in my experience. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Wayneg89 · Answer

I could depending on how severe the insecurities were.

Mac-One · Answer

I have been in a committed and sincere relationship through it's ups and downs for so many years that I would be devastated without it.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, I'm kinda insecure. I prefer dominant girls, and they are usually not insecure.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Nope. No way. I don't have the time or energy for that nonsense.

Samuel75 · Answer

No! I can't. Because why will I be having some fears about who I'm in relationship with. Love doesn't come with fear.

AydenHazor · Answer

It depends on how bad they are. We all have some insecurities, I don't mind helping someone through theirs if they're not too all encompassing

CrazyKittyCatLady · Answer

Yes but only if we can address these insecurities and not wait for it to just fix itself.

kaucky1 · Answer

May have been insecure of gender💫✨✨💫💢💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨💨some need to get existences of their own ✨✨💫

dragoblack · Answer

Only way it works is if they work on getting passed their insecurities and willing to acknowledge them (... both sides technically must do this)

Miristheiss · Answer

Yes, to a degree. Things can always go too far.  Give me some examples of behaviors you are talking about?

Circushowcowboy · Answer

I’d like to think so, but I guess if it’s really bad that would make it tough.

rizzzz007 · Answer

I don't and I can't handle insecurity it is a thing which you can handle it is in nature.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Something minor, yes. But if its major and its causing me problems then no.

lorenzomichael · Answer

It wouldn’t matter to me as long as she’s trustworthy and honest. All the other shit well work it all out.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

No not anymore

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

He became your ex because of this?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it isn't easy, my wife is so insecure. Always suspect at me ,

sage2021 · Answer

Nope!! Why would I?

Anonymous · Answer

And I'm sure he had to deal with your shit too

Wise4myage · Answer

No, that would drive me nuts.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Everyone is at some level

CubaPirate · Answer

Maybe with the right person

elizamichale1 · Answer

No not really

Anonymous · Answer

You're kidding right?

jahaims · Answer

Insecure =immature

Could you handle being in a relationship with someone who is insecure?

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Could you handle being in a relationship with someone who is insecure?

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