Crazy biodrones, man. I don't participate in the nonsense mind games. 3 strikes and I'm out, never talking again. these "females". it's a bit strange to call people like police call suspects but i will call them "female" today too, just because some pink anomalous anon gave you shit for it. i totally understand when people resort to the word female, since "women" can now refer to men. also some pieces of trash don't deserve to be called "women". much like immoral coward males don't deserve to be called "men".
In truth, gender has nothing to do with it. the female though, was brainwashed and used the flawed logic that she was brainwahsed with to piece together a sentence that conveys repulsion. just the language "emotional safety" - well, maybe it just means general safety. if you ever punched her or were rude or something? that would be understandable that she doesn't feel safety, but she would be in the wrong for not wording it properly still. more likely though, she didn't feel an "emotional danger". she just didn't feel a "sensational euphoria".
That's all she needed to say. she doesn't feel an animalistic euphoric breeding instinct from merely being around you. I'm almost certain that your relationship was based on that.
Perhaps the worst part is how many people don't have any sort of genuine non-sexual love.
(And no, I'm not the libtard to hate sexuality. the only times libtards say sez is evil, is when they have sexual dysfunction. And still manage to invent some genital-less forms of sexuality.)
I, on the other hand, want to point out that relationships should bring such enormous amounts of joy, that the euphoria brought about by sex is almost insignificant. having sex should be like having pre-charged portable tire inflator when you are riding a bike. it stores some energy, but you better spend that energy on occasional inflating of tires. most humans these days, both males and females, want to spend this pre charged tire inflator as a source of propulsion. just instantly use it all up. but don't want to pedal. get some improper movement without commitment and then crash.
Doesn't this coincide with your question couple hours earlier. you asked why people are just intolerant assholes. it's the same issue of egoism, lack of patience, and understanding of self.
This is definitely an MHO-worthy answer right here.
It is absolutely true that women have been used against us and even themselves but this has been done to men too.
Non-sexual love is so very important, sexual love is "making love" because of how intimate it is, but it is our duties as men and women that are the most important expression of love. The deep intimacy is something else but it is working as ONE unit that is important and brings the bonding, otherwise it is just using each other as masturbators and that is using each other, not loving each other.
Genuine loving-kindness and real intimacy built upon it, it's what people are missing and why so many relationships fail - along with the lack of sense of duty, the never-ending sacrifice.
ROFL, get used to it dude. (Some) Women are incredibly insecure and self centered. Yeah they are deep down a rabbit hole and can't even articulate to themselves what the fuck they want. But they'll blame you for not understanding them because there is no fucking way they are taking accountability for anything.
Best to jettison those women and not look back. They are generally not fixable by any 3rd party. Their struggles are internal. Just say, "vaya con Dios muchacha".
Yeah, it a form of mild mental illness. And incredibly annoying.
You are giving very little information. How long had she been talking about this "emotional safety" she needed. For your entire relationship? Or only recently?
Maybe this was something she always expected from a SO and never told you about until it was too late, and she started on the she "didn't love you anymore and wanted to be single.," because you hadn't "met her needs/desires."
If you were never aware of her needs, there is nothing you could have done to help her with them. And it sounds like she needed therapeutic help to get herself past a point of requiring someone else to fulfill her needs.
The best relationships are between two equally strong and self-actualized people who are together because of love, shared goals, values, fun, company. One person cannot repair the lacks of another. And when one person expects that, they will ALWAYS be disappointed in the other. It's impossible.
Emotional safety means insecurety, she finds you more attractive in more than one way and that you have a circle that is drawn towards you which is not the case with her, she feels she might loose you anytime and her emotions towards you would go in wayne, women also give excuses and the real underlying reason could be something else.
Opinion
19Opinion
You're trying to use logic to understand emotions. That rarely works.
Next time, try to understand what she says and why she says it.
And remember one important thing...
You can't change others, you can only change yourself.
You would have to provide a lot more information because relationships are a two-way thing and each party seldom knows everything about the other to be able to understand the other, but from your question I would have to say that your experience was with a woman who was expecting you to "fix her" in some way. It is important to support each other emotionally but if one partner defers the responsibility of their own emotions to the other, this is too much to bear as the other partner has their own emotions to cope with when both are supposed to act as one unit and support each other equally. We as men have our own issues, unstable women have to work on themselves a bit before entering into a relationship, just like unstable men do. As men we have a responsibilty to understand our women, they are different to us but that understanding goes a long way, but it doesn't work when the balance is tipped unfairly in one direction.
I've heard of emotional cheating but emotional safety is a new one on me, unless she wasn't feeling protected by you, as that is one of the things that men are supposed to provide their woman with, right? It could mean she didn't feel like you had her back.
Now about the word "female". Is this a WOKE thing that we aren't supposed to call them female anymore.
I used to use the word female but they got their panties twisted when I would write it. So I just use girl/women now.
Yea this is news to me as well , I been saying males and females’ for years , so why it’s a big deal now is beyond me , I only say woman when I am talking about a girl that is matured and not a little girl anymore , I never called a young girl a woman , just like a young guy is a boy and a mature guy is a man , so whoever made
Up this nonsense just makes me shake my head
I remember when "we" were saying "don't trust anybody over 30". Now it's "don't trust anybody under 40".
Hey. Twisting their panties is kind of hot.
@Sal_Monella
It is kinda hot! 🥵 🔥
You speak how you wanna speak, just like I do... It seems that we have to put up with people who take offense to comments not meant to be offensive and even want to silence us.
Girls and boys make each other into women and men through marriage and all of the responsibilities that come with it.
Everyone else is in practice mode, even into their middle and old age.
ALL of those who deny marriage (the creation of a child, in love, not signing a document and making vows that are meaningless when it is about two people becoming one person) are still boys and girls.
I type this to define exactly what boys and girls and what men and women actually are. Male and female is something suited more to the description of the two sexes in a wildlife documentary, or scientifically talking about the CLEAR differences between the TWO sexes. We must not let our language be defined by what others think is acceptable but talk like we want to.
She thinks that telling you she does not love you is an incentive to make you try harder. What it is, Is an incentive to pack your bags and get the hell out of there. Do not rationalize it. Get the fuck out.
It's better than realizing it at age 57 like I did. Picking Beelzebub as my wife is the worst decision I have ever made. And I've made plenty of em.
And she told me that I was not a good Christian leader for my children, even as she was using that same mouth to suck off three guys that she cheated with.
It's a good reason not to have sex in the first few dates. The three things that men need are respect, peace, and accommodation. If you don't have those things. You have nothing. And you should be able to tell that in a month or less.
Don't waste your time soaking it. It will only distract you from good decision making.
Yea she changed on me , she use to be loving and caring and respectful to me , but that all changed after 20 years of marriage with her when she met this toxic girlfriend of hers, that I feel she is up to no good with , my wife started treating me like complete shit shortly after she became friends’ with this girl and acting like I wasn’t important to her anymore , playing this victim when really she is the POS , not taking any accountability for her selfish actions or behaviors and trying to make me the bad guy , I immediately saw right through her bullshit and told her to Go fuck herself , whether it’s menopause talking or what , my wife is now someone I don’t know anymore , all I see is a selfish bitch that only cares about herself. Throwing on the towel on her was the best move I made for myself
I just hope that you have protected yourself financially. And legally so, you are not disemboweled by the divorce. I was. In a country like Italy or Spain that have crimes of passion, I know exactly what I would have done.
Women like that were always hiding their true selves and what they really expected in the long-term. If you don't eventually be exactly what they want you to be then eventually, whether it is two years or twenty, they'll turn on you instead of realising they are lucky with what they have got. Things change after twenty years especially when children are present and have grown up but if a toxic lesbian friend is involved they will actively play on your womans feelings to turn her against you - but that only works if your woman is a complete c u next Tuesday to begin with.
Emotional safety is such an empty word husk and I bet 100 bucks the real reason was completely different.
People who want out often feel compelled to come up with a reason beyond, "This is not working for me." That is what this sounds like. Expecting you to read her mind is silly, but she needed the excuse to make it your fault. Very common dynamic.
No offense bro but I was cracking up at the way you formulated that question 😂
“Is she completely insane” like how tf can I answer that I don’t even know her
But emotional safety IS a thing.
You can’t blame her for wanting to feel like her partner is fully invested in the relationship
Seems basic to me
I have suffered with anxiety and depression, trauma and hyperactivity since I was a child... This is because I know that this world is a shit covered with fancy paint and sprinkles and was abused as a boy and class myself as "overclocked", not hyperactive. "Normal" people are in slow-motion compared to me, dull, even people half my age.
I do well because I rejected the meds and worked on myself, because of that effort I know myself, which is something most people cannot honestly say. Other don't seem to want to take responsibility, like they want the docs and psyches to fix them when only we can fix ourselves, some of us with a little help from what others call an invisible friend.
@Finchie40 there actually is a treatment for all of that
I have this coworker who’s got all these same diagnoses and is a fairly stable person provided she gets her Ketamine treatment every Saturday afternoon
Okay, so first of all, do you speak to her harshly? When you say something right when you guys have an argument, do you guys apologize, or do you shut down? Whenever someone says something bad about her or when she's having a bad day, do you defend her, or do you agree with the person? Do you comfort her when she's had a rough day? life is hard and it's OK to be there for your partner so saying that she is completely insane because she has emotional needs It is genuinely not ok. As soon as you ignore your partner's emotional needs, that's when the relationship is over. And even if she had a mental illness like depression and anxiety, if you had truly loved her, you'd find a way to to handle it together, like encouraging her to go to therapy. That is to encourage her to be the better version of herself. You would have had the patience to help her handle her emotion so that the relationship would be better and I'm speaking from the perspective of someone who is A future psychiatrist
in this case sounds like a way to flip it blame you. women do need emotional security, if you know what that is and provided it, then that's not the issue.
Hmmmh. They want what they are told they should want. They are good little fashion followers but it isn't necessarily what they unconsciously want.
You might get something out of the You Tube video link. At least it mentioned emotional safety once. Mostly though, what I get is that they impossibly hard work and is she really worth it. :) :) :)
https://www.youtube.com/embed/G3_7nc6yjBs Sounds like a messy situation. Emotional safety isn’t about mind-reading, it’s about consistency, reassurance, and communication. If she was sending mixed signals, it’s understandable you felt lost.
Don't drive yourself crazy trying to rationalize the thoughts and actions of a crazy person. If she told you this recently then she's trying to suck you back into the drama shit storm. The unresolved conflict between you is the bait. Don't take the bait. Take a step back and let that shit storm blow by, and tell her "not today, Satan!"
Well she's got it now if she's an ex and you are MUCH better off!
Maybe the lack of emotional safety came first and was the reason she stopped loving you and wanted to be single.
You spend so much time talking about your ex and analysing your ex. Maybe its time to let it rest?
Were you ever in a relationship yourself or always a cougar?
Anyway, not to be rude. You know that experiences will repeat if we don't change our ways, right?
He's trying to figure out what he has to do to avoid this experience again.
@Hardon-Collider 12 years relationship. 3 years relationship and a few shorter ones of like a year or so. I've plenty of experience. And 8 analyse myself and ruminate a lot and yes come here for opinions sometimes but there is a time when ovwr-analysing a past relationship becomes toxic. Because I have seen so many posts of his that are BITTER about his ex and taking no responsibility himself. Maybe she was a total bitch. Maybe there were reasons she did some of the things she did. The thing is he can't change HER and can only change himself and there's only so many times you can tell someone "it's OK, your right, it was her not you" before you have to say come on man let it go.
I probably could have saud it more diplomatically but sometimes I'm only popping on briefly and no time to write a detailed response.
It sounds like she's a narcissist, blaming all relationship problems on you. If you aren't co-parenting, block her. If you are, don't continue discussions that aren't related to the child or children.
I think indifference is what she's looking for.
She's pushing your buttons and they still work and she's pissed that you haven't figured out how to deactivate them. Best guess.
Next time, tell her she's cute when she's psycho
she sounds insane and you were smart to leave her.
Why do you ask us? We cannot know 24-7 daily life of your relationship. Nobody of us can tell you anything seriously.
The fact that you refer to women as “females” tells us all that we need to know.
With all due respect, maybe this is something you should have discussed with her instead of ranting at strangers. I'm just saying.
Perhaps she needs girl space to be with her galpals and away from you for a time.
Hopefully you're clubbing another broad !!!
Women sometimes say the most delusional things.
Femaile are emotionally driven. It is one of the hazards of being in a relationship.
I fully support you on this one!
She has unrealistical expectation. Thats common among women who watches holliwod movies.
She is being aggessive. Passive aggressive.
i can see what she means
it means something but sincerty means a lot
Maybe she has too high expectations.
Oh look, Finchie is whining about his ex again!
What's an anom?
Oh you mean "anon"
Do you say "anomynous" because that's pretty funny and wouldn't surprise me.
@OpinionOwner you sound like a conspiracy theorist. "Anonymous" was a group of basement dwellers who cyber attacked governments.
Ummm, might be rabbit, might be!
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