Is it racist to require another race to bring more to the table in order to consider dating them?

[Anonymous]

Dr. Sam Richards from Penn State University brought up the uncomfortable truth of how Asian men need to make 6 figure salary for a white woman to view him as an equal to that of a white male when it comes to dating. Meaning, an Asian male needs to be in the top 20% of wealth in the US to compensate for being born Asian.

Rich doctor who makes millions marries a beauty queen that turned out to be an escort

Meanwhile, many Asian men have talked about the behavior of Asian woman when it comes to white men; even when looking at their sister's behavior with white males. They notice that many Asian women are willing to split the bill and accept mistreatment from white men. They notice that Asian men are often put to much higher standards and are require to have more things in place to be considered datable.

For example, Brenda Song, who choose to date and have a child with a long standing drug addict named Macaulay Culkin. Do you think she would have ever dated an Asian man a chance under the same circumstance?

Yes

No

[Zack-Bann]

A drug addict?
Who also happens to be the most famous child actor in history worth a fortune and sober for a long time


She’s hardly doing him a favor


And news flash: no one wants to date bums
Doesn’t matter what shade your skin is


People tend to gravitate towards others of their own race that’s true for everyone


But when someone dates interracially it’s the same standard across the board


Yes you won’t get a free lunch.
But then no one else does either

[Asker]

Yes but would she have gone for this man under the same circumstance if he was not white? Except white men do often get free lunches. Asian community literally talk about how Asian women are willing to lower standards for white males.

[Zack-Bann]

Everyone says the same thing mate
It’s an excuse

White boys think white chicks prefer black guys

Black guys think black women prefer anything other than black

Arabs, latinos, same story

There is no rule or reason to it

The truth is women don’t care as much about race as men when choosing who to date

They’re not giving them an easier time

They just might enjoy the novelty of dating someone that doesn’t look like their brother or cousin or father
It’s got a charm to it

I should know, most of my relationships have been interracial and I have an easier time comparing to girls from my own ethic background

And yet for some reason I never had much success with Asian women who typically prefer an Asian man from my experience
But I guess that’s only a matter of perspective

[Asker]

Except we can see through online dating an unnatural propensity accross the board of women of different races (except for black women) preferring white men as either their first or second preference for online dating. The belief that black men are white chicks preferred choice can be disproven by simply looking at the fact that white women have the lowest rate of stepping out and dating interracially.

Women do in fact care about race. In fact many women put on their dating profiles that they won't date a given race. You can even see it among sex workers that state "no black guys".

[Zack-Bann]

I’ll admit I have 0 information on what sex workers say or do

And dating app data is also a biased statistic

Because dating apps offer a warped version of the real dating marketplace

Meaning a woman scrolling Tinder in her free time will make choices based on deep personal preferences when no one else is looking

But when you meet a woman in a public place she doesn’t have to do that
She’s reacting to what you’re saying

So if you’re funny and charming and bold enough to ask for her number she will give it to you and later on wonder “why did I do that”

That’s how most dating works

Dating app relationships account for about 20% of all couples

The other 80% comes from social circles, the workplace, randomly on the street or at a bar or a nightclub

And in all these contexts race is a minor element

It’s not nothing.
But a good looking Asian man is still a good looking man
And an ugly white guy is an ugly guy.

You can beat the limitations of race by simply maximizing your looks and charisma
And generally getting your life together which is always a prerequisite to dating l matter what

[Asker]

Except 1. 43% of couples meet their partner online. So dating apps is a reflection of real life. In addition, people tend to me be more honest and forthcoming of what they want on dating apps, since they don't have an actual physical person in front of them and the internet tends to make us more honest about our beliefs and wants.

Source: A significant majority of couples now meet online, with recent studies showing figures ranging from around 40% to over 50% of couples meeting through dating apps or the internet, making it the most common way people connect, surpassing meeting through friends (around 15%) or at bars/restaurants. Data from sources like Stanford University, PNAS, and The Knot consistently highlight this trend, with online meeting methods rapidly growing since the 1990s.

The belief that women don't exclude men by race is rather silly when women often exclude men by other factors like height.

In addition, a good looking Asian man will get dates. However, the issue is an ugly looking white guy will get dates from a non-white woman because of the premium and association with being white.

There are a lot of systems put in place in Western Society to promote white features. From tv shows/movies to beauty magazine. Asian men are heavily marginalized by Western media in being seen as sexy and attractive. And there is even a study done that states that Asian men face discrimination in their early adult life when it comes to dating. aka college and highschool.

Asian men also are at a disadvantage because women across the board have a natural attraction to wanting taller men and Asian men on average are shorter than white males.

[Zack-Bann]

Let’s pretend I agree with you
(Which I don’t but that’s irrelevant)

What will you do about it?

You talk about the western world’s promotion of whiteness and how men of your race are marginalized in dating

But let’s forget about the other men for a second

What about you specifically

Will you go through life just complaining about the face you were born with and the world who’s unwilling to romanticize it?

Or will you make personal decisions and choices that give you an advantage in dating?

There is no wrong answer
Only outcomes

[Asker]

The only way for Asian to do anything about this is for more Asians to get into film/movies and self promote Asian culture/values as a counter culture to what is produced by Hollywood and Western Media. It's also important for races to be proud of their culture and call out self loathing.

With regards to me, I don't have to do anything. This doesn't affect me. This is a thought experiment on whether it's racist for another race to bring more to the table to date another.

We can see how this would be racist if there was a business establishment and certain races had to pay a cover fee to get in, while others do not.

[Anonymous]

That is the most ridiculous thing I have read in months.