If a guy is slow to plan the next date, is he just not that into you?

Question

Well, he’s a catch. Handsome, successful and hot. He’s also in Asia and into Asian girls. He’s very busy due to his job, he has to fly or travel to different places every week almost…

We had one nice date 3 days ago and he’s been texting me since then, however sometimes replied a little late which made me feel worried.

Today as he texted me and wished me a nice morning, we chatted a little and I asked him when are we going to see each other next and he asked me when I am free , I told him I am free on Monday and Wednesday and can also make it on the evening of weekends.

He told me we can meet to each other on Monday before his flight to another city for work…

Now I am anxious, why Monday? Why not the evening on weekend? I feel like maybe he likes someone else more and spends weekends with them. And I have all these anxious thoughts coming…

On the other hand my second date is asking me for 7 days off from my work so we can spend it together on an island as our second meeting. Because he traveled there.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

I don’t like how the 2nd guy is asking so much from you on the second date. To take a whole week off, just for him? That’s asking a lot. Also, for the second date, that sounds like it’s moving very fast. And he will probably be expecting sex if you’re going be to be staying together for a week.

The first guy, if he’s really busy, maybe Monday IS the best time to meet you. As someone who works a lot myself, having the weekends completely off is a luxury. Usually, I need to work on Saturdays myself. And if he’s going on a trip right after meeting you, perhaps he needs to prepare for that too.

Perhaps you can ask him some more about what his schedule looks like on other weekends. Do you know what industry he works in?

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Guy #1 sounds like a player. He may have several qualities that girls find attractive or desirable, but remember that all that glitters is not gold.

Guy #2 wants you to go away with him for 7 days, and that would be your second date? That guy only wants sex; is that what you want?

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Nah, some people take longer to plan because they overthink too much.

ohsheeT · Answer

Never can tell he just might be busy and has to take care of business before he can take care of anything else or he's thinking about things and wants to make the next date the most beautiful day so he's trying to get all his ducks in a row but there's no telling patience is the best thing to have and the understanding of go slow let things happen don't think about it too much because it'll project you in a different light just be yourself and relax let it happen

And remember the energy that you put out is also what's given back to you through a higher power it is always watching out for you so if something happens that you don't like it's okay because there's a reason and once you let it all go that reason will walk into your life but there's a learning experience that comes with it too so smile it'll all work out

AviatorTom · Answer

What difficult decisions you have...
You tell guy #1 that you are free on Monday, he agrees to see you then, and you wonder why not the weekend.
Guy #2 wants you to have a week together on an island and you're not sure you should go.
Consider yourself fortunate. Many men and women would be happy just to have coffee with someone.

Cyfris · Answer

Sounds to me like he 7day island guy likes himself more than you and is more interested in what he can get than give.(only wanting the whole 7 and not 2 seems selfish and reflects on his character) And it sounds to me like the Monday guy might actually give a shit about you. I try to plan dates on days the girl is off instead of a evening she worked the day of is for her. Not to add responsibilty. Also I like the possibility of our time together snowballing in to a longer interaction. Without knowing them personally that is the best I can offer.

CalmUntilAbused · Answer

Honestly, I don't know what to tell You.

The petty and mean side of me wants to make fun of You getting anxious after the guy responds to You "a little late", while the girl I might have liked, maybe even loved, has not responded to my last messages for like over 2 years now (and She did respond to my previous messsages).

The kind side of me wants to tell You it's normal for guys to think the response over many times in order not to offend the woman. Also, proper date planning takes time, so really, "a little late" is not cause for concern.

The rational side of me wants to tell You that it's normal that the guy has a life and a job that He's busy with, and it actually shows His value as a future partner.

spartan55 · Answer

Girl, try to relax about the first guy. Just keep the negative thoughts away and let it breathe.
The second guy, I'm a bit confused. He wants you to take seven days off of work to travel to some island with him? Uh... that doesn't seem like a bit much?

REDBRA36c · Answer

I would support you and Guy #1. I would think what Guy #2 is wanting to do would be more so when you’re exclusively dating him or engaged to him.
From my perspective, guys do want to plan out things, but either from experience or stereotypical women are very picky as to the value expensed for the planned date or even what the date was like. Yes, you may take a long time to get ready, and he took a long time on his own to plan out everything for you, but it didn’t go the way you imagined it?

So it’s my assumption, guys hope you will enjoy it and include your participation when planning it.

And a lot may also be mutually equivalent reciprocal effort on your side as well.

If you like the guy, you should verbally express it two him, including how you appreciated his time and effort putting it all together.

And remember, the hiccups in the plans are the spice of variety to the date and hopefully is not a legitimate negative.

NathanDavis · Answer

LaFemme... this is just deja vú so I am sure you're familiar with my opinion... lol

Grond21 · Answer

Do you think he's just not wanting to see you on the weekend, seeing other girls and not being honest with you, or do you think he is being honest and he's very busy?

TallAnon · Answer

Both are not good flags tbh, the first guy doesn't want to get too close and just take advantage when you are available.
The second is planning to love bomb, do all he can to you and then likely dial back since he got what he wanted.

exitseven · Answer

When I was dating there was a 3 day rule that said if you called a girl after a date within 3 days it meant you were too needy.

Likes2drive · Answer

Overthinking it, he’s a businessman so he is probably just busy with work. You must really like him because you are thinking of so many bad scenarios about what he is doing, just relax and don’t overthink it or text him too much

molonski2 · Answer

My personal opinion is you are over thinking all again , a little more " Sabai Sabai " don't plan so much , and be a little more spontaneous.. But just Relax , it's too stressful just reading it.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I think you just answered you own question. You just said he very busy so that why he's slow to plan the next date. Here's the bad part he's very busy so you know this going in he won't have much time for you or your relationship. Keep that in mind cause you have to decide is that something you can except

DryGermanGuy · Answer

„After two weeks on the road, your incessant scheming is hurting my head!“  - Lucilla Aurelia, Gladiator

slatyb · Answer

If he's not making time for you, he's not very interested.

Alex-Snow · Answer

It just may be the way he thinks or operates. If you have fun it is ok to ask the guy out on the next date. It does not always have to be the guy that does it.

msc545 · Answer

Maybe you should consider becoming interested in women. I think it might be a lot easier actually.

LC75LC71 · Answer

I'll take a seat and watch this whole story crash around you lol.

Sunnyrjs · Answer

Or maybe he isn't good at planning these stuffs or doesn't want to do anything that would upset you or turn you off.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Dude sounds clingy as hell. lol

Zionne · Answer

valid reason is alright

Anonymous · Answer

No, he's just slow.

If a guy is slow to plan the next date, is he just not that into you?

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