Should I avoid dating apps and try meeting a partner through my church group instead?

[MissSunshine2]

I’ve been considering avoiding dating apps from now on, because I keep meeting rubbish and people regarding dating as shopping, where just dating me exclusively isn’t enough for them. They’re always looking for someone better and giving nothing of themselves.

So I had an idea. I am an Anglican Christian but not very strict in my faith. Still, I follow the Christian teachings. There’s a church group for adults around my age that is local to me and not too hard to get home from in the evenings.

my theory is that I finish my studies, then focus on getting fitter and losing weight. I want to lose fifteen kilos. Then joining that church group and trying there to meet someone decent. The only thing is that I don’t want a Ned Flanders type of partner.

[OlderAndWiser]

I met Miss Helen on a dating site in December, 2020. We started dating exclusively though she lived about 80 miles from my home. In July 2021, she moved to my hometown and we started living together. We became engaged in March 2023 and married in April 2024.

Yes, there are some insincere people on dating sites, but there are some insincere people attending church, and there are some insincere people hanging out in bars. But there are also some great people on dating sites, in church, and even in bars.

Some dating sites are notorious for being hookup sites, and some seem to have more undesirable people. But even if you use the best sites, the things that you say in your profile and the way you respond to DMs creates expectations and filters out certain types of people.

So perhaps the problem is not the dating sites per se, but the way you are interacting on dating sites. Have you ever had a trusted friend of the opposite sex read your profile and give you some feedback on the impressions he gets. I did that when I was using dating sites and it made a big difference in the results I got.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[William7489]

Yes! 100% and I am someone who has struggled with my faith and religion but recognize it’s incredible value. Dating apps are designed to keep you single and paying $30 a month to be told by about 90% of the women on there that you are worthless. A third of the people on there may be in relationships or married or just looking for a free meal. It’s really not good for the mental health of either person. Men tend to get incredibly depressed and demoralized while women get and overinflated sense of self and importance. Definitely go for something in person in a good environment like a church. You’re much better off and you might just pick up some really good stuff in the meantime.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you dodge red flags and find real, healthy love, not more ghosters and shoppers-in-human-form 😏

Your plan is actually smart. Dating apps can feel like emotional Amazon Prime. A church group will usually have more value-driven people, more consistency, and less lovebombing.

Just don’t over-fixate on weight first. Work on confidence, lifestyle, and self-love in parallel. Join the group as you are, let people see your personality, warmth, and faith.

And don’t worry, you can filter out the Ned Flanders types by watching how they treat others, handle disagreements, and talk about grace vs. perfectionism. The right one will like your soul first and your glow-up second.

[Summeroflove]

If I’m being honest yes I’m not saying everyone on dating sites are bad but many people don’t last long on them if they aren’t either desperate can’t find anyone in real life for some reason or another, looking for attention and validation, or seeking cheap hookups. You also just don’t know who you’re talking to. Someone can seem fine online until you meet them….

[RHK36]

Or it might just be you. Nowadays women definitely control the dynamic of who picks who. If you keep striking out it might your poor choice in men or there's obvious flaws you have that need fixing to open up a bigger pool of quality people to choose from. Anything else is just excuses and lack of self awareness. Be accountable and be consistent. No one has that much bad luck, so look inward before blaming outward.

[MissSunshine2]

Good point. I identified that I was being too nice and too needy, apart from choosing losers to date.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Lol at the Ned Flanders case 😂

If you believe that, statistically speaking, a church is a social place with better odds to find someone sharing similar worldviews as you then I'm saying it's a resonable strategy you have.

Once I was past early adulthood, I found love on social spaces where I was more likely to find someone looking at the world the same way as I do. I wouldn't say I looked for love though, but in recollection, I found it in places that made sense

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I personally would not, but I also have a bias against christians and institutions such as the church. There’s nothing wrong with trying to do it the old fashioned way, but I wouldn’t expect a church to be full of single, available men. More than likely, a majority of the men you meet in church will already be married with children. The pickings will be very slim.

[Nikki1989]

There is a reason so many people on dating apps are desperate trash. I would have thought that would be obvious by now, but apparently people still hang onto the delusion that they can meet quality people that way. Sad.

[slatyb]

Good luck with church, as there are three women for every two men.

[MissSunshine2]

Well that’s true, but it seems like men think there are 500 women on dating apps for 1 man. I’ll take my chances.

[Anonymous]

I been on dating apps for many years. It took me a long time to realize these apps are for misfits who can't get dates in real life

[MissSunshine2]

It took me a long time to learn it, too.

[nomomrnice]

Yes avoid apps screw finding the perfect someone at church idea.
Some of the largest scammers hang out in churches.
Since you are already familiar with church in the Bible let the Right One find you don't do a thing

[nomomrnice]

And if you truly want someone that will respect you and take really good care of you and have your back forever HMU

[WhitneySnow]

I think that’s a fantastic idea. Not all Christian guys are like Ned Flanders. A lot are perfectly normal.

[Anonymous]

A church group is a very small pond and if something goes wrong then it will be awkward for both of you and someone will probably have to leave the group. As with anything, best to go outside of that.

[Alex-Snow]

It might be worth a try or perhaps try to get involved with your community with some volunteer projects or something and meet someone there.

[Iron_Man]

Yes, that’s the best way but I heard there’s a Christian mingles on the app I don’t know if it’s still there

[blackeagle007]

Up to you where you want to meet others. But I hear you about the apps. I’ve had bad experiences too. I’m very weary now about those.

[Fireburn2025T2]

Yes. Dating apps can be very dangerous. There's always someone out there that will earn your trust just to use violence against you later. Please take heed and be careful

[sage2021]

Church is a great idea! 🙂

[Jeff51]

Don't use dating apps.

[Slim57]

Definitely