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I dated this guy for 6 months. We’re family friends, so it wasn’t casual.
He’s been under a lot of pressure the whole time. He’s building a company, working 12-hour days, constantly dealing with investors and stress. While we were together, I tried to be low-maintenance. I didn’t want to add pressure or drain him, so I kept things light and supportive.
But over time, I started feeling like my needs
weren’t being met. He rarely asked about my day, and I found myself constantly questioning whether he actually cared about me.
Eventually, I decided to end things. When I broke up with him, he agreed with me and said I deserved more. Before I left, he told me he’d think about everything and call me that week.
He didn’t call, so after about a week I reached out. We ended up talking for two hours. He told me he’d been extremely stressed from work and investors he owes 80 grand to workers and lawyers. and also felt bad about the situation between us. I asked if he had planned to call me, and he said not really — that he would’ve eventually, but not to get back together.
During that same conversation, he actually offered to try again and said he would do what I needed if I could accept how busy he is. But then he took that back and said he was too exhausted to make a clear decision and didn’t have the capacity to think about a relationship right now.
The part that hurt the most is that he said he felt like he barely knew me. I explained that I held back because he always seemed overwhelmed, and it felt selfish to bring my own emotions into that space.
He says he cares about me, but his actions and words feel inconsistent.
That’s what hurts the most that he said he doesn’t know me that well like what a slap in the face I can’t help but blame myself now should I have been deeper should I have shown more of myself but the truth his he never made me feel safe enough to do so and he never shared much about himself other than work. I can’t help but blame myself
He’s been under a lot of pressure the whole time. He’s building a company, working 12-hour days, constantly dealing with investors and stress. While we were together, I tried to be low-maintenance. I didn’t want to add pressure or drain him, so I kept things light and supportive.
But over time, I started feeling like my needs
weren’t being met. He rarely asked about my day, and I found myself constantly questioning whether he actually cared about me.
Eventually, I decided to end things. When I broke up with him, he agreed with me and said I deserved more. Before I left, he told me he’d think about everything and call me that week.
He didn’t call, so after about a week I reached out. We ended up talking for two hours. He told me he’d been extremely stressed from work and investors he owes 80 grand to workers and lawyers. and also felt bad about the situation between us. I asked if he had planned to call me, and he said not really — that he would’ve eventually, but not to get back together.
During that same conversation, he actually offered to try again and said he would do what I needed if I could accept how busy he is. But then he took that back and said he was too exhausted to make a clear decision and didn’t have the capacity to think about a relationship right now.
The part that hurt the most is that he said he felt like he barely knew me. I explained that I held back because he always seemed overwhelmed, and it felt selfish to bring my own emotions into that space.
He says he cares about me, but his actions and words feel inconsistent.
That’s what hurts the most that he said he doesn’t know me that well like what a slap in the face I can’t help but blame myself now should I have been deeper should I have shown more of myself but the truth his he never made me feel safe enough to do so and he never shared much about himself other than work. I can’t help but blame myself
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Blame yourself for what exactly? Nether of you did anything wrong. He's looking to build a company and you're looking to build a relationship.
Both endeavours are serious time commitments and unfortunately, you're not aligned with your ambitions at that given point in your lives.
It doesn't mean he didn't care. It simply means his life is full. If he's roughly your age, it's exactly the time he should be fully invested in building himself up financially.
Timing is perhaps the most important part in life. You two didn't have it. It's nothing to beat yourself up over.
He’s 27 I’m 21 but I always understood that he has to devote his time to work I never blamed him for it I was always understanding all I was asking for was a little acknowledgment, and some words of reassurance I I wasn’t asking for much more than he was already giving
He does care, but he prioritizes work high above you. He’s not in the right space for a serious relationship right now.
I guess but if you care about someone don’t you wanna be with them isn’t it that simple?
You should, but he puts work over wanting to be with you. He does care, he’s not a narcissist or anything, but he doesn’t care enough to put you ahead of work.
I guess not and I wouldn’t expect him to I just can’t understand why it has to be one or the other
I don’t either