Does he really not care at all about me?

[Anonymous]

I was dating a guy for almost a year and totally in love with him. We had a few arguments where we almost broke up and then got back together. Finally after our last argument he said it was just too much drama and he couldn't handle it anymore and doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. He said he doesn't know why he kept staying with me and that he doesn't usually put up with any drama at all in relationships. I understand, but I am totally crushed because I really love him. I did everything you are not supposed to do and cried and begged him not to leave me, to at least be my friend and kept calling him and he blocked my texts and blocked me from his work email. I know I should have left him alone but I was devastated. :( Any time I talk to him he sounds mean and cold. After about a week I finally just left him alone and now I haven't talked to him for a few days. I am hurting so badly. Can he really just not care about me at all now? I am so confused. Does he hate me? Did what we had mean nothing to him? Will he ever miss me at all? I feel so empty and my heart aches. How can he be so cold? What is going through his mind?

Updates

+1 y

Well, I went through some really difficult things this week and he knows about it and expressed his sympathy then was saying things like he misses me and thinks about me all the time and wants to hug and kiss me.

Updates

+1 y

Then after a day or so of that he just stops answering my calls or emails. UGH I am so confused. I told him that he was playing with my heart when he does that and maybe it is best not to contact me at all. I still really miss him though.

Updates

+1 y

Well all that was a month ago and we are together now and happy...lol

[Anonymous]

Yeah, breakups are bad. He's doing you a favor by not talking to you or contacting you. You need time away from him (that means no contact whatsoever) to get over him. If he talked to you, you would probably end up with false hope and start reading into everything he said. This would make it much worse for you. I know that after my breakup with my ex, every time he would respond to my calls or texts or emails, I would start thinking it meant more than it did. Eventually, I stopped contacting him altogether and it helped me a lot. Eventually, once I felt I was over it, I contacted him again and realized I was really over him because I no longer thought over everything he said or did.

If you two argued a lot, maybe it's for the best that you broke up. If he couldn't take it, you can't change his mind. I doubt he really doesn't care at all. My ex told me he didn't stop caring, he just didn't want to continue hurting me by talking to me. He probably feels guilty too. I know my ex did, and still did up until I contacted him and he saw that I was really over it. He may actually still feel guilty now. Either way, feelings don't just go away overnight. If your ex really has no feelings for you, that means he was out of the relationship a while ago. Either way, you don't deserve him. You deserve better.

[Anonymous]

If you are really interested in getting him back, there is somethings you can do that have worked very well for me. Hand write him a letter saying you agree that breaking up is for the best, apologize for being so needy and desperate, and tell him you need space to heal. Then disappear completely from his life. It is really hard to do, but not only will it make you feel better about yourself, he will start to miss you and wonder where you are.

And while your not talking to him, you should take this time to work on making yourself the best you can be. If he didn't like the drama, work on being more calm and collective all the time. He will hear through friends that you are a better person now and he will want to see how he measures up to the new you.

And does he still care, of course he does. you were together for a year, so you meant something to him and that doesn't go away overnight. He is probably hurt about what happened, but being a guy he can hid it really really well.

[Asker]

Thank you. I think I have written him too much already. I told him similar things and now I am leaving him alone so I guess I am on the right track.

[avril]

Some men really can't handle the drama, I think because you didn't leave him alone he just got more mad at the whole situation, then to add to it he had to go to extents to block you and such, therefore at least right now he upset about that!.Sometimes hun we have to bite our lips and leave them alone if that's what they want at the time, maybe he wanted some clean space for now and you didn't abid by his wishes!.It really hurts .I KNOW.just like most of us on here, therefore find other things to keep you busy, not saying it will completely take your mind off things but for now that's what you need to focus on!.Give him time, maybe then he can share in converstion again with you on a later time. Its christmas, focus on all the good things in life, there's a reason for everything and a reason why things happen, Just go with that for now!.Good Luck!.hope this helps!

[Asker]

Thanks. This is so hard. I know I should have just let him be to begin with but it is so hard!!

[avril]

It will get better!..Keep positive!..:)

[NirvanaCobain]

just give him his time and space. I bet you if you left him alone in like for a month or two he'll see you don't want him and he'll want you back. But if you keep bugging the hell outta him he's gonna get annyoed by it. Give him time and if he comes back he really does love you, if he doesn't well that shows his true colors. Good luck

[djstizl]

This guy sounds kinda like me, so I think can give you some incite. I also can't stand drama, a little disagreement isn't a big deal, but I hate fighting. I would say, he isn't really that cold. That's a way that guys like us deal with emotional hardship. We don't really talk about it, with anyone. We do our best to just block it out and pretend its not there. If he took the effort to block you, its because he is upset. If he wasn't emotional about it, he wouldn't put up such a barrier. Guys like that prefer to deal with those feelings on their own. Also, the closer you try to get, the harder he'll pull away. Give him some space, and after he cools down, if he wants to get back together, he'll get a hold of you. I hope this helps at least a little.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I think you are right and that is how he handles his feelings because he has to feel SOMETHING and he acts like he doesn't. It is nice to hear a guy with a similar attitude's viewpoint.

[djstizl]

Thats right, he has to feel something. Guys like him, and I, unfortunately aren't good at being open with emotions. Sometimes its a good thing, its allows to keep cool and calm in hard times, but also shuts out people we care about.

[Romanticguy1988]

If the man leaves because of some drama that you have in relationship. He ain't a man.

And you especially honey deserve much better than this guy. Trust me. I know this might sound bit cold and not the things you want to hear right now but it is true. If he really loves you he will come back. If you love someone let them go. If they won't return to you eventually. Their love was never yours to have.

Keep it strong.!

[Asker]

Awww...thanks. It is so hard to let go but I know it is probably for the best.

[Midwestbeauty444]

Hell yeah that's right! if he wants you he'll come back and realize what an ass he was to not try to work things out with u!

[Anonymous]

me and my boyfriend went through the same thing... he said those same words to me, and I reacted EXACTLY how you did..afterwards he wanted me gone, and said he didn't love me anymore..ect. so I backed off a little, gave him some space.. but kept reminding him of how much I loved him.. x] he was still cold and distant for a while.. a few days after the argument he said he loved me again, just not as much as he used to. and that he could love me all the way again, it'd just take some time..

so the best thing for me was to keep in contact with him. DON'T cry (this made him VERYYY mad) dont' attempt to much physical contact.. and just give him some time to cool down.. I think things will work out for you :) good luck!