Can a guy really stop caring so quick?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex broke up like 3weeks ago. Before the breakup he was mad at my friend Because my friend was telling people he was gay. I was the one who told my ex first so I could calm him down so if he heard it anywhere else he wouldn't beat up my friend. However my ex thought I was starting drama which wasn't true. So he ignored me for a day or 2 and I went crazy I hate when he does that.ter we argue he stops being all over me. so I had enough I text him blew up on him and told him he need to stop doing that that I'm done trying but I'm still his girl. I said way more then that but he was mad. I guess I hurt his feeling Because he broke up with me. After that we chilled he was back to the I'm his everything rant. I really thought the kid loved me. His sis and mom would tell me he does. His family seemed to love me. We had it good despite all the arguing. He always always always would text me. He took me to this spot where it had a beautiful view. It was freezing and he was cold but I wanted to look. And he stood out there with me held me and we had a deep convo. If he did care why would he have thought of bringing an extra coat for mem then we went out to eat the next day he notice I was mad at him .if he didn't care he wouldn't notice. He notices the little things about me like when I get a trim or if I was crying. He took care of me when I had extreme stomach pains. Last we he started saying he doesn't care anymore is it because I blew up on him? I asked him but he said he just gets so mad that he lies to hurt my feelings as much as I hurt his. But yesterday he wouldn't even call me when I asked its over omfg its really over. Help! Explain why guys can stop caring so much.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think some guys (not all guys) are capable of going off a girl so fast it would make your head spin.

The normal reaction when this happens (for the girl) is to freak out.

In my experience, she immediately starts to question the break up, AND the relationship. "Did he ever feel anything for me? Was it all a game to him or something?" And right behind that, seems to be the "Now wait a minute..." response on the break up.,

My own personal theory on that one, is that girls who break up with a guy, look forward to the drama of the break up. The whole melodrama soap-opera nature of the break-up. And a guy who simply goes "Okay, we're done." and means it, robs her of her little dramatic episode. And that both annoys and shocks her.

All I can tell you is, speaking as a guy who can get over a girl he loved in 5 minutes or less, is that we *do* mean it, the relationship probably *was* real, but it's dead now, and what's dead stays dead.

That doesn't mean he goes around hating you, or wishing you harm or any of that melodramatic bullsh*t. It just means it's over. You're just another human being to him now. There's no love there. He can be as kind and considerate to you as he would be to any other person, but don't mistake that for love or affection, because you're only fooling yourself.

[Anonymous]

I really don't think he has stopped caring for you. It is IMPOSSIBLE for him to lose feelings for you so quickly after loving you. No way has he stopped caring. I think he is just so fed up with your temper tantrums and your attitude towards him at times that he feels really hurt and feels he needs to get back at you in a way he can hurt you back in return. You really need to give it a little time and let him cool down, you need to cool down too. Then you need to send him the nicest text you can to say how deeply you love and care for him, you want both of you to work and you will both work to not hurt each other and not get mad at each other.

[mrallen]

My guess is that he's exhausted from being so emotionally invested for this long. While he was sweet, he put so much of himself into it that he might not have been taking care of himself (emotionally) as a result. That explains why he would get mad in spurts. If he didn't feel he could express when he was upset about little things, it would build up until he blew up over just one thing. I imagine that he's tired of the hurt this causes and wants to move on. It's not that he doesn't care anymore necessarily, but that he doesn't want to care anymore and is trying to put some separation between you so that he can start towards that.

[Electric_Boogaloo]

Because you broke his trust, I'd be pretty angry at you as well if you did that. The fact you told your friend, and then they blabbed made it even worse.