How do you know when dating effort is healthy vs trying too hard?

[Summeroflove]

Breaking up in the early stages of dating isn’t personal to either person or at least shouldn’t be to those who are mature it may hurt at times.

But when you reach a point whether you’re male or female… Where it feels forced. You’re trying too hard….. you sense the other person is trying too hard. Many times something has gone wrong….. It’s amazing to put effort in. But a lot of people it’s a pride and ego thing. Some people aren’t meant to be together….. doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with either person.

But a lot of times once it gets to that point. It’s not flowing naturally….. sure, communication is important and some issues can be resolved with communication but SOMETHING has gone wrong. It could be absolutely nothing wrong with you and simply the other person lost interest or it’s dying…. And they won’t communicate that to you directly.

[Anonymous]

When you drastically alter your life to accommodate the opposite gender. I'm not suggesting being rude or disrespecting women. But she should be a compliment to your life. Something that hopefully grows over time if you get on well etc. Dating should never take center stage in your life. People and relationships should, but not dating. If you find yourself pushing to that degree you need to take a step back. Mayne step away from dating altogether. Never get so lost in another person that you forget who YOU are. Because a person can (and likely will) leave at any time. But you will still always have to look at that same person in the mirror everyday. Never lose track of who HE is.

[MrChinaski]

You can take a while to get on each other's wavelengths. Still, things should be getting easier over time, at least gradually, not becoming harder and more 'forced' as you describe. It's a fair sign that either it isn't meant to be or one or both of you isn't in the right place for it right now.

It may be that one person has lost interest. But it may mean a lot of things. e. g. you've just reached how close they are able to be with you right now really early. I'm not sure the 'why' matters too much. The prognosis is the same.

[SueShe]

I cannot speak from personal experience when it comes to me dating someone else because I don't date people.

However, I can speak from personal experience when I am the target/victim of attempts to want something from me.

If I tell those men "Not interested" and that they keep insisting on wanting something from me, then it is obviously "trying too hard" because I know that their attempts will not be met with success.

If on the other hand a person reacts in such a way that he understands my point of view and leaves me in peace, then the dating effort is healthy because they understand that there is no chance to be successful.

[Summeroflove]

If someone’s says they aren’t interested respectfully. They are doing you a favor not wasting your time and giving you closure. Leave them alone……

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want you anyways

[MontBlanc]

Healthy effort feels mutual and natural, you’re showing up consistently, but still feel like yourself.

Trying too hard feels one sided, like you’re overextending, overthinking, or chasing validation.

The difference is in how it feels, healthy effort is steady and grounded, while trying too hard usually comes with pressure and a sense of losing your balance.

[Summeroflove]

I agree completely.

[fantasticass]

Go on a date with the mindset that he's more like a brother than a potential boyfriend. Your demeanor will change with that mindset, and you usually meet the right person. Good luck ✌️

[Summeroflove]

Well it would be weird to see myself as a brother with someone I’m romantically attracted to. But people need to go into dates with an open mind and zero expectations.

If you go in with super high expectations you message be disappointed….. even if someone was great if one thing doesn’t go right….. too low of expectations and you don’t have clear boundaries and are willing to accept anything

[Summeroflove]

But I do agree people shouldn’t push for sex too soon….. Generally it will either push a genuine person away or attract the kind of people who are just looking for that and will probably leave

[Tomislav7]

Yeah im a tryhard because im gay and was raised around gang influence

[NathanDavis]

if you have to try... that's not healthy

[strateguy632]

When it feels like trying.

[Tungi]

It’s hard to find that balance

[Zionne]

when both is trying