How can I attract men my own age when I look much younger than 38?

[MissSunshine2]

I don’t look my age and guys in their twenties hit on me a fair bit, rather than men my own age. I’m turning 38 this year and I want more older men to notice me. Not those who are much younger (more than 5 years younger). How do I get more men my own age to notice me?

[Zack-Bann]

Unfortunately for you the mature woman appeal is impossible to shake for younger guys


Ironically older men would notice you more if you acted younger


The problem with that is: when a woman nearing her 40’s starts acting 22 she instantly becomes the stereotypical “desperate housewife” and not in a charming way.


Your best bet in to be set up by people in an adult circle
Meeting random strangers won’t work, you will keep running into the young and reckless


Since I’m still in my 20’s for now I can tell you how dating has been going for the past few years:
Most girls my age are dating older guys who can fly them around the world and such
So I found myself increasingly dating older women, 5-10 years older, 15 years older, even 20 years older.
And even if I hate the current model, I know for a fact that in 10 years when I’m the one making adult money I will likely date someone who’s younger than me, simply because I can. (Unless I get hitched first I suppose)


So I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, but so is everyone else. Modern dating itself is ass-backwards and we’re all suffering from it

[ManOnFire]

As a 39 year-old man that would be hot to me that you're in my age range and look young. It's a sign of health and youth. I've always found it hot when an older woman looks younger than she is. Men like me appreciate that.

[SueShe]

The first question that pops up is why you want to attract men in the first place.

I am aware of your condition and wanting to attract men at all costs is only going to make you look desperate. If you want to attract people for something else than your looks then avoid hookup sites like dating sites. They are known for people solely wanting to be physical and then dispose of you after use.

If you are serious about getting into a relationship with one single person, then try to find places where people in your age group gather. Taking up a hobby or joining a club of people that share the same interests as you do would be a good place to start.

Good luck.

[MissSunshine2]

Unfortunately it happens in person, too.

[SueShe]

Sorry to hear that. I know it is not easy to handle, mainly if you don't want it to happen but there is no real good way to prevent it from happening.

[PeachyPie93]

I'm the same age, and yes younger guys like to hit on me more.. but it's more that they don't care to get shot down. Older men you have to kind of give them signals that you want them to hit on you like smiling at them or other subtle things..

[AviatorTom]

Most women I know would be happy if a younger guy hit on them. But I understand where you're coming from.

Here's one thing you can try. ...

Go to wherever you want to meet men wearing this Tshirt...

[MissSunshine2]

I like that 😂😂😂

[Rei13]

Maybe switch up your aesthetic? Clothes can make you look older or younger

[Finchie40]

Show a picture of yourself and start flirting with older guys’ more

[Finchie40]

I am currently single and seeking a younger girl this time around , I have my reasons

[sage2021]

I have the exact same thing happen to me.

I'm 71, but everyone tells me that I look like I'm in my 50's. I don't have any gray hair and no wrinkles whatsoever.

And because I have always looked way younger than my chronological age, I only attracted younger guys.

But I was never attracted to men who were older than me so it worked out well for me.

What's wrong with being with younger guys anyway?

If I was with an older man I would have felt like I was dating my Father!

[nothingtosee]

I think flirting with, and seducing you would be so hot. I would love to discover what you fantasize about and then fulfilling all of them.

[Amy10223]

Well, the only thing you can obviously do, is wear a sign stating your age, but you can't do that, so the next thing is to go to where older people would hang out, and not younger people. If it bothers you to be with someone 5 years younger than you, ask yourself why. At your age--age shouldn't matter unless you're looking to marry, and I assume you are, so you want someone older who will want to marry and begin a family right away. That is, assuming you do want children. If you ask men, and you both don;t want children, then I am thinking most men won't be bothered by age as long as you both get along.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I don't think you can control who is attracted to you and who is not. So my best bet is to stop attributing value to what you can't control. Instead, start managing what you can control, which means going towards men you're interested in, to have a chat with them.

[ChasingSophie]

Honestly, the venue does half the work before you even walk in, if you're mostly in places that skew younger, that's just who's going to be looking. Shifting where you spend time is probably a faster fix than anything you could change about how you present yourself.

[molonski2]

Believe it or not , I had this exact problem from 16 - 25 years , I looked too young and get stacks of attention none which I wanted to act on.

I think it comes down to presentation , and how you act , where you hang out , clubs dport , image , gym , associations.

[RiseofArtemis]

Should I really tell you? I apologize if I come of as rude or insulting but I will tell you the plain truth.

Men your age aren't going to want you. Especially the ones most women want, successful and handsome. Those men will want someone younger in their twenties to marry or sleep around with.

The younger guys just want to sleep with you.

In short men your age think you are too close to the biological clock while those younger ones just want you for fun.

[ammar12343]

Every woman I’ve ever heard say this looks their age or older lol. Men your age are still attracted to younger women. Is this really an issue?

[MissSunshine2]

I’ve heard lots of people claim it falsely, too. But yes, it’s true in my case and an issue.

[ammar12343]

How old do you look?

[MissSunshine2]

Early thirties.

[ammar12343]

That’s a good thing. What guy in their late thirties or 40s wouldn’t want a woman who looks early thirties? I’d think the issue is that most men around late thirties and 40s are married with families and there are more men in their early thirties single or at least divorced and not completely dead inside because of it lol. I don’t mean to be insensitive but I don't know how to have empathy for your situation if I’m being honest 😂😂

[MissSunshine2]

I had that impression. I question your ability for empathy in general, that being the case.

[ammar12343]

I do, but looking younger than you are in your 30s isn’t it 😅. I’m not a complete ass though. I got empathy for my wife as she struggles with her pregnancy rn. Got empathy for the struggles faced in the military given I was in myself. My son going through the teething process. Kids with special needs since my mom teaches special ed and I see the struggles first hand. Got empathy for alcoholics seeing how it can destroy families. Empathy for those who are bullied after my best friend’s sister unalived herself for it. I guess I have associated empathy. My beard always makes me look older so maybe I just can’t relate lol. Gl with your situation.

[MissSunshine2]

Well, I’m sorry you’re in those situations but at the same time, that’s no excuse to take them out on other people who’ve done you no harm. My mental health and weight issues are numerous and I’m autistic with no money, no husband and no chance of trying for children. Yet I manage not to blame other people.

[ammar12343]

Oh I’m sorry to hear that hun. All I read was the looking younger than you are part. I’m at least a little neurodivergent (adhd). Been fat and buff and skinny and everything in between. My sister is around your age and overweight too. It’s breaking her and I hate watching it. She recently got an oral version of GLP-1 that’s supposed to be a little more gradual and less harsh. She’s slowly and steadily losing weight and I hope she sticks to it. What keeps her together is her community at church. I hope you get through what you’re going through or at least find some peace throughout the process.

[MissSunshine2]

Thank you 🙂. I hope things get easier for you and for your family, too. I’ll pray for your wife to have a successful pregnancy and childbirth.

[BadApple69]

Honestly if you are attracting 20 somethings then there should be no issue attracting older men. Older men like younger girls. You just need to be where they are. If you are using dating apps set the age for what you are looking for.

[Bklynbadboy12]

See this is a tough one cause your gonna always attract younger guys if you look young cause they think there going after a woman thats around their age. Your gonna have to put yourself our there if you see a guy your age flirt a little give him a little eye contact so he feels confident enough to come over to you and strike up a conversation

[OneViewpoint]

Hang out in places with an older crowd and less college kids. The places I hang out with friends most Friday nights are probably 75% people in their 30's to 60's. The kids can't afford it.

[lightbulb27]

Look more mature and settled? That's what happens usually as get older.

may be nothing you can do to stop younger guys attraction. If you are getting some, that's a feather in your cap.

[Spencer10]

Well one sure fire way is to hit on them yourself. Takes guts but most guys would not mind. Fortune favors the brave. Then tell them your age...

[whosnumber_1]

They will notice you. Are you putting yourself in circles where men your age hang out?

[MissSunshine2]

Yes, I’ve started to do so. I have an autistic social group that I attend. I’m also joining a church group and a choir group.

[whosnumber_1]

Ok well patience my dear, put out the vibes. Dangle the bait and a fish will bite...

[Kabluie]

I don't look my age either, I tend to attract around 25-30 often when I go out. I think the best way is to look at going to places that have an older population.

[Tarifa]

Get yourself a T-shirt that says "Don't hit on me unless you have some streaks of grey hair".

[beenherebefore]

Men your age are most likely married. The ones who are still single you wouldn't probably be attracted too them.

[Bricealan]

@MissSunshine2 Go out in public. Go to shopping malls. Learn to dance. Take a yoga class. Join a gym. Many men out there your age.

[Med_guy1978]

Many guys like younger women so you get the best options. If they want the age and maturity, you've got it. If they want the age, maturity and youthful looks... You've got that too.

[glennos89]

You had all these years from your 18th till now. Most guys your age are looking for someone younger because of their fertility

[Horsegirly2001]

If you look younger than 38 you won't have trouble attacting men your own age.

[Anonymous]

If that's true, then it means you look very good for your age, nothing you can complain about.

[RRT_7511]

Honestly, no clue. Having “38 years old” written on your forehead might help, i’m just saying

[In_Trance]

Stop going to places that have guys in their twenties

[oldman1951]

Have a nice with men around your age and attract them
Looking younger than your age is an added advantage in life

[NoDecision]

Are you bragging or complaining about this?

[MissSunshine2]

Complaining

[888theGreat]

ok sure. Sure you don't look 58?

[MissSunshine2]

Absolutely I’m certain of it.

[4ngelic]

You could try to dress more mature maybe

[Sammy098]

Do guys in early 20s hit on you or older?

[MissSunshine2]

Early to mid twenties now

[Sammy098]

Guys that age are obsessed with women in their 30s. It's lust from them. Take it as a compliment

[jshm2]

... by acting your age?

[MissSunshine2]

I do act my age.