Why do we live in a time when women want no strings relationships?

[Anonymous]

I’m chatting with a girl the last couple days and she's incredibly beautiful but she seems to only be looking for a short term no strings situation. I’m the kind of guy where this type of thing scrambles my brain.

Now before you call me gay lol most guys would be like 1000% in, I worry with her beauty, I would fall for her too quick if something were to happen. I don’t know if these girls are just putting up a front to protect themselves, or if they are just that liberated. Traditionally women are protective and selective with who they seek sexual relations with due to the consequences of sex.

I get that the consequences are largely “removed” these days, but still. Are we not conscious of the interpersonal bonding element of sex too? I seem to be one of few guys that cares about that sort of thing.

Updates

2 mo

It’s just so frustrating being more of a long term kind of guy, seeing all these incredible women around but you find out their priorities are just not in the right place. There’s a huge dissonance. They could be so much more.

[HollyK21]

“ I’m chatting with a girl the last couple days and she's incredibly beautiful but she seems to only be looking for a short term no strings situation.”


So you have not actually clarified what she’s looking for, and you’re just drawing assumptions? Why would you do that rather than get a valid answer? If I were you I’d be asking what her intentions are, making yours clear and then cutting ties if she doesn’t want the same thing.

[Asker]

Her profile literally says it, I’m just thinking with my dim sim here 😞

[HollyK21]

Smh dude. So you specifically chose to pursue a woman because of her “incredible beauty” despite knowing she isn’t seeking a relationship while you DO want one? Why are some men so shallow? Why do we live in a time where ANYONE wants no string relationships, and it gets entertained by people such as yourself? Who take issue with the very thing they won’t scroll past? We live in a time of blatant users and takers, because what is your point in pursuing this other than to get casual sex?

[Asker]

It’s like I want to believe she’s not the way she is. It’s commonplace for men with these modern women at this point. They’re never who us men need them to be for a successful relationship to work.

[HollyK21]

You mean SHE isn’t who you WANT her to be. So what now? You keep talking, hoping you can change her mind? You and I are both in our 30s, so we’ve have about equal amounts of time to witness what dating has looked like over the years. As a “modern woman”, I’m currently engaged and prior to that had no desire for flings, casual sex or basically anything that ultimately leads to nothing. I have members in my family all within their 20s, one who is exactly 20, and they hardly care to date at all. You know what the 20 year old says? Men are trash — she said this plainly, I’m not using my own phrasing. She says all her friends get disappointed, every guy they date just tries to hookup or judges how women look. They’re all on dating apps, all getting ghosted or ghosting others because they believe the men they encounter don’t care. It’s a cesspool of bullshit in everyone’s experience. Yet we do have people out there who actually want to connect, and I was fortunate enough to finally find that when I turned 30.

Rather than placing blame solely on women or solely on men, I’d remove it almost entirely and just look at the person you encounter on an individual scope. Like this woman for example, she has she experienced in her past to make her choose this way of dating currently? Is she just too busy to prioritize a connection but enjoys the simplicity of friends with benefits, just as a man would? Has she been hurt and is just afraid to open up, just as a man would? We are all subject to experiencing the same disappointments, pains, and whatever else from the opposite sex that would cause someone to choose a no strings lifestyle.

[beenherebefore]

I would believe what she says and not assume she's putting up a front. If you and her do not want to the just move on and stop worrying about her. These type of flings only work if two people want exactly the same. If you feel you might end up catching feelings then stop investing in her because she won't reciprocate.

[jahaims]

Programming to break apart society so it is easier to control

[Asker]

Yes but “human nature” — yeah, human nature when you give us all these broken laws and policies and everyone reacts to their circumstances. Nothing feels real anymore.

[Asker]

I can’t even look at woman anymore and like what I see without having way more suspicion than just feel-good emotions and excitement knowing that there will be a good person on the other end talking back to me.

[Zionne]

she's not ready for any serious thing

[Asker]

She should be.

[In_Trance]

Because most guys aren't worth committing to

[Asker]

And then so women make themselves the same way?

[In_Trance]

Pretty much

[Asker]

Makes sense! (Not really) lol

[Anonymous]

How does she look

[Asker]

She was a Puerto Rican mami with sultry eyes and very fit body, flawless skin. I did not allow myself too close. Ooof.