Why do people use power dynamics to unfairly judge older men in age-gap relationships?

[Anonymous]

In a big age gap relationship, like 19 and 33, I noticed people use excuses like he's stronger than her or that she gets pregnant to justify hating on the older man.

It makes no sense because these dynamics apply in any age gap relationship, it has nothing to do with the age of the older man. If they are both 19, the same dynamics apply.

Some people just live to hate on older men due to their prejudices and bias

[AgentG111]

They are jealous. They have nothing better to do. They should just grab their bottom lip pulled up over the top of their head and swallow and do everybody a favor.

[Shiprex]

Because they hate men having good things

[Shiprex]

@mastergirl thank you for the MHO

[DishLady]

People judge each other no matter WHAT the ages.

[Taurus_Woman]

People bring up “power dynamics” in age-gap relationships because, in some cases, there really can be unequal levels of power, but the conversation often gets generalized and sometimes unfair. In certain relationships with a significant age difference, an older partner may have more life experience, financial stability, social status, or emotional confidence. Critics worry that this imbalance could influence decisions, limit the younger person’s independence, or make it harder for them to recognize unhealthy patterns. So the idea of “power dynamics” is used as a way to question whether the relationship is fully free and equal. But the problem is that people sometimes apply this assumption automatically, without looking at the actual individuals involved. Not every age-gap relationship is exploitative or controlling. Two consenting adults can have a healthy relationship even if there’s an age difference, especially if both are emotionally mature, independent, and respectful of each other’s boundaries.

[Asker]

You missed my point, it's that they are using dynamics that don't matter in age gap relationships

[Levin]

There are women like this in my office.

Including one who has slept with boys (rather than men - under 18 if not under 16); who makes comments that men are scummy if they sleep with younger women but it's okay if women do it.

Of course, she has young daughters.

And of course, there's an undercurrent of resentment because women are accustomed to having the power dynamics in relationships.

Of course. Women are hypocrites and men can't win either way. So they should just go ahead and do what they think is right, according to their own conscience.

[Asker]

How is she not in jail?

Are you sure she's a pedophile?

[Levin]

This is what I've heard from her friend and it sounds quite probable because she was sleeping indiscriminately with boys at her daughters school parties.
But remember it's 'funny' when women do it, not so much men.

[Asker]

Report her

[Levin]

I don't know for certain, they could have been 16, 17 , 18.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Because it's easy, and not unreasonable, to suspect older men to be more talented at manipulation than their much younger counterpart.

On the other hand, plenty of barely adult girls are able to reverse the odds and take control of the older man in question. Because their cleverness overrides the guy's ability to take control.

[Asker]

Yes but these dynamics have nothing to do with it. Manipulation yes, but the things I mentioned people use to hate do not.

You misunderstood my point in the question.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What do you mean with power dynamics then?

[Asker]

Strength difference and pregnancy

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Ahhhh ! All right, completely different story then. In that case, I don't even get why would people say that strength of an older guy is more problematic, it makes no sense at all.

And pregnancy though, how do you mean it in the context of this question?

[Asker]

That she gets pregnant she'll have to carry the burden

[Asker]

Basically the same as in any other scenario

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Then I also think there is no reason to think she will have to carry the burden more when it's an older man involved

[Asker]

Exactly but people still act like it's so much different if the man is much older

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I would really like to read such a statement from people because I have no idea about the logic they use lol

[Asker]

No logic, just prejudice

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I believe there's always a logic to find in anything people think though. But sometimes it's really hard to figure out to figure out what it is lol

[Asker]

Prejudice or bias have no logic though

[lilBigPotato]

It always depends on the individuals involved. As long as both are adults I'd say let live and learn.

[OneNisa]

What other people say doesn't matter.

[OneNisa]

What are your thoughts on relationships with a significant age difference?

[OneNisa]

Hi, unfortunately, when relationships with a significant age difference occur, other people criticize them. In my opinion, this is unfair, and they should show respect.

[Asker]

Yes but I am saying they do it for wrong reasons

[OneNisa]

I understand the reasons you gave, which you mistakenly believe; aren't these behaviors wrong in your opinion?

[Asker]

The reasons they have are very wrong

[Ironco]

Lol, I'm 54, the young always judge me on being older and the mature ladies do the same judging if I talk to the young. A guy can't win.

[genericname85]

it's just their own preferences speaking out of them. nothing to get worked up about.

[Asker]

What do you mean by preferences?

[genericname85]

it's the same when people who aren't gay or trans get worked up about gay or trans relationships. it's not their preference so they view it negatively. same with big age gap relationships. people who don't like it will talk negatively of it.

[Asker]

In both cases their reasons make no sense, it's just their prejudice

But in this case it's sexism too with age gaps because they don't hate older women doing it when there are plenty of reasons why the women are wrong.

[genericname85]

it's not about "making sense" it's merely an expression of their emotional reaction towards the thing talked about.

[genericname85]

it's not sexism cause nobodies rights to express their sexuality are taken away. someone can think bad about it. that doesn't stop you from doing it does it?

[Asker]

If they treat them differently based on gender it's sexism

[genericname85]

i disagree. treating people the way you treat them is freedom of speech and expression. it's only sexism if your actions infringe on a persons rights.

[genericname85]

you're not entitled to people liking your preferences.

[Asker]

They are infringing

[genericname85]

speaking your mind isn't ifringing on someones rights.

[genericname85]

i understand you may have a need for harmony but that really doesn't take away peoples right to dislike what you like.

[genericname85]

plus it's not even dislike on the basis of sex but on the basis of age difference in this context so even from that angle it's not sexism.

[genericname85]

it doesn't always have to be some "... ism" when someone doesn't like what you like. you gotta allow people to have their opinions even if they're not the same as yours.

[Staximus]

Are you a man haha… These relationships have been happening since the dawn of time, people need to get over it.

[Asker]

Hahaha say that when your 19 year old daughter or son dates a 50 year old man you weirdo

[Jen_oic]

I’m not sure because the age gap shouldn’t matter

[Jen_oic]

@mastergirl unless she gets pregnant and her husband is much older than her then she will bear the burden and responsibility

[Asker]

It would be the same burden if her husband was same age

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

Personally, I feel like 14 years isn't enough.

[Asker]

What do you mean

[Bklynbadboy12]

I've honestly never heard of that being done before

[jahaims]

They have common sense while you are in denial

[Asker]

Yeah more like the opposite, if you laid off your bias, you'd see you have 0 logic.

[Asker]

Yeah, if you laid off your bias, you'd see you have 0 logic.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

The hell with people.

[ashish804]

Fucking true