Is being desired the same as being valued?

Question

Someone can desire your body, your attention, your energy, or the way you make them feel… but does that mean they truly value you as a person? Where do you draw the line between desire and value in dating?

ChiTown33 · Accepted Answer

Nope. Desired is inward. Valued is outward. This is the single biggest mistake women make with men. Everybody wants to be desired (even guys). Because you feel put on a pedestal (which of course women love🤣) but that is not VALUED. And many "romances" may START off that way. But that is nothing but love drugs in your brain. When a person VALUES you. It's not just about "romantic" fluff. It's deeper it's something tangible. It's how you treat people, it's your morals and values, it's the way you see the world, it's your loyalty, your honesty, your compassion, it's your intelligence, your tenacity, (for me it's a woman's relationship with God), it's her goals and passions (what gets her out bed each day, her dreams put into action). I could keep going but you get the idea, i think.

There's nothing wrong with desire so long as you keep things in perspective. If "desire" and "value" were a pool. Desire is the kiddy pool and value is the deep end. Value is where a relationship is truly forged and deep bonds are formed over time. And there truly is no shortcut to that. Which is why i think so many lean into desire so much.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Of course it's not the same. The words means different things for a reason. We all know that some people will desire AND value their partner, but plenty of people only desire, and do not value their partner.

leannegrayson · Accepted Answer

Desire is nothing more than the greedy, salivating jaws of a parasite. For those who dare to treat the Lord's vessel as a mere object of their carnal "desire," the reckoning will not be a philosophical debate. I do not need to speak. I will simply close my eyes and focus on the dark, pumping chambers of their greedy hearts. 🖤 Instantly, the blood in their veins will cease to flow, turning into thick, boiling pitch that scorches them from the inside out. They will drop to their knees in the dirt, clawing desperately at their own chests as their ribs splinter and their lungs fill with black, suffocating smoke.

queenofcardio · Accepted Answer

I think the main difference between being desired and being valued is the intention behind someone’s actions.

A man can constantly compliment me, but that doesn’t automatically make me feel valued.

I feel valued when my opinion matters and my input is considered when decisions are being made. When someone thinks about my feelings before doing something.

I also feel valued when appreciation is shown through actions, not just words. When he does something thoughtful without me asking because he knows it would make my day easier. That kind of care means so much more to me

ManOnFire · Answer

They absolutely do not equal the same thing at all. A ton of women are desired but not valued for who they really are, but the sad part is that in today's world being desired sexually or just for looks seems to matter to women more than being valued for their character or what they can offer people in life. They are obsessed with that dopamine hit from getting attention.

ohsheeT · Answer

Oh my God yes if I desire somebody that value is so high it's unreal and I prove it by the things that I do and say and just everything

To me I look at the desire in a whole different way I look at desire as love as passion and I'm going to prove that just by in the way that I value and take care of and do for that person

For me both of those things are pure love but I use both of those words as a beautiful thing not as negative

HawkPerception · Answer

There are a lot of men who desire women just to fuck. And there are a lot of women who desire men because of their social status or money. Does that mean they value them? 😂

blueonblack22 · Answer

I once heard that women are wanted and men are needed. It’s often true.

I can tell you right now it’s a far sh*ttier feeling to have someone “need” you in a relationship (money, help, etc.) vs. having someone “want” you (objectify you for sex).

I have had both done to me. When I was younger there were a few sporadic incidents were I was used for sex (was told all the time I was “so cute” back then). Not as common for this to happen to guys but it does happen.

Now I am older I am more “needed”. One girl wanted to marry me for a green card. We started out as legit friends with benefits. But then she brought her marriage idea later.

The latter feels much worse then being wanted for sex. Having some lust after you personally (despite not caring for you otherwise) may leave a hallow feeling but still it’s a huge compliment to have someone think you are beautiful. But when someone just wants you for money, favors, etc. that’s far more insulting.

sawno · Answer

Its not the same thing to me no, value can be without desire. You can also lust over someone without valuing them when the relationship is only about sex. For me valued is someone who is truly apprechiated, while desired is just someone lusting.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I think it's as simple as what that desire would make them do.. If a woman desires me so much that she is ready to make a home and build a life for me... Then obviously I feel valued as a person.. If she just likes my body but I'm just one of the many guys she might desire then... Yeah that speaks for itself too.. Lol..

humpbackjack · Answer

Valuing some one for there spirit or for who they are totally different than valuing someone’s body. So desiring someone is more of selfish thing where as valuing is more of a selfless thing. You might do thing for the person you desire but you’re looking to get what you want in return. When you value someone you’re more willing to do things for them without the extra intention. Of course the 2 can intermingle. I believe a healthy loving relationship there needs to be both and from both sides

loveslongnails · Answer

You can do one without doing the other in some situations. For example, you can value someone's skills in a work setting, or even a social setting, but not desire them physically or romantically. Similarly, you can desire or lust for someone physically and not care about anything else.

However, if you both value and desire someone in total, now you're in a different world altogether.

AydenHazor · Answer

Being desired is but the same thing as being valued. You deserve to have both on a dating relationship. Someone who is attracted to you both physically and to who you are as a person. Someone who finds beauty and attraction in your body and finds value, love, worthiness, companionship and so much more in your soul

sage2021 · Answer

Nope! They are different from each other. Desire is superficial and value is the entire person.

DecentMan · Answer

Well indeed - desire is a grabbing energy of wanting for one’s own needs I think, valuing is more a true understanding of some one and their soul - and an appreciation of that..

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Yes, it can totally be the same. When being desired makes one feel valued then they are strictly synonymous ! As for the rest, me personally, I trust queenofcardio's answer. 🫡

Nikki1989 · Answer

They aren’t the same—though they often get tangled up because both feel good. The easiest way to spot the difference is to look at intent.

exitseven · Answer

It is not the same. People can be desired but they can be easily replace. When somebody has real value they are not that easy to replace.

alice55 · Answer

if they desire only your body it's not the same as valuing you but if they desire your company etc.. it mean the value you in my opinion

PinkSchmetterling · Answer

I think desire is a kind of value. It’s like asking if lust is love. Of course not, but what’s romantic love without it?

Purpleronnie · Answer

No , desire is wanting access to someone; valuing them is recognizing their worth beyond what they provide to you

Massageman · Answer

No. Being valued is the more preferred of the two. Being "desired" is simply the fulfillment of one's OWN desire , often projected on someone else.

DJB72 · Answer

No. The cretins like Andrew Tate will try to convince weak men it is, but there's a fundamental difference: desire is about self. Value is about selflessness.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

To love a person, it has to be a combination of both but personally i look more for the things that lasts, for example i focus more on the internal beauty of the person, for example: i desire their presence because i value their presence!

jazzy34 · Answer

No. Being desired usually revolves around sex while being valued revolves around knowing you as a whole person.

oldman26 · Answer

Desired is you being personally wanted, valued is needed for a porpose a role anyone could fulfill

Siajanua2027 · Answer

With value comes respect, but with desire, respect is not guaranteed.

Abbycado · Answer

You tell me, baby.

WhitneySnow · Answer

No. It’s not the same at all.

AviatorTom · Answer

Not at all.

lilBigPotato · Answer

Nope, two different things.

Shiprex · Answer

No desired is not a measure of value.

Phoenix98 · Answer

They're not the same no.

Staximus · Answer

Two totally different things

LiamJHayden · Answer

No. One can be desired for aesthetics only.

AgentG111 · Answer

Technically No.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it can be, very often actually.

slatyb · Answer

Not at all.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Nope.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Not always.

msc545 · Answer

Only for a moment.

Is being desired the same as being valued?

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Is being desired the same as being valued?

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