Why will this guy only see me in private and act so secretive?

[Anonymous]

I’ve known this guy for a month. We always hang out either at his home or in secluded, low traffic places. I can't find evidence that he has a girlfriend. I'm not ugly and no other man has had a problem being seen with me in public. It’s just him. We we are out here is fidgety and constantly looking around. He doesn’t like staying out for long and if wherever we are starts picking up traction, he wants to leave. I asked him if he had a girlfriend or if someone thinks that they are in a relationship with him.

Me: Are you in a relationship?
Him: I’m going on dates.
Me: Does anyone think that they are in a relationship with you?
Him: I’m getting to know one other person.

[HollyK21]

“I asked him if he had a girlfriend or if someone thinks that they are in a relationship with him.


Me: Are you in a relationship?
Him: I’m going on dates.
Me: Does anyone think that they are in a relationship with you?
Him: I’m getting to know one other person.”


You pretty much answered your own question with this context.

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

I don't think it matters what this guy's exact situation is. The fact that he's not being forthright with you, and is intentionally giving you vague non-answers when you ask him simple, direct questions, means he's probably not good boyfriend material.

Maybe there's a innocent explanation for why he's behaving like this, but the only one I can think of involves him being a superhero.

You should probably cut your losses. Sorry.

[OlderAndWiser]

Whatever explanation may exist, it does not bode well for a long term relationship. If you don't break up immediately, be VERY careful.

[Calyptomaniac]

Careful phrasing like that is a pretty big clue, in case having to go into hiding every time you're with him somehow wasn't enough of one before... he's keeping his options open at best and at worst, is in an actual relationship.

[RedAlertAdvisor]

I think the biggest clue is actually in his own words.

When you asked if anyone might think they're in a relationship with him, he replied:

"I'm getting to know one other person."

That alone explains a lot.

It doesn't automatically mean he's doing something wrong, but combined with only meeting in private, constantly looking around, and avoiding being seen together, it's understandable why you're uncomfortable.

🚩 Red Flag Analysis

Risk Level: High

Signals detected:
• Secretive behavior
• Avoiding public visibility
• Dating multiple people
• Lack of transparency
• Creating uncertainty

Reality Check:

Healthy privacy is different from secrecy.

When someone wants to build something real, they usually make you feel included in their life.

When someone keeps you hidden, confused, or questioning basic facts, that's often the answer itself.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Without knowing him, and based on how he doesn't try to appear like there's only you, I'd trust his answers.

To me he just admitted not being exclusive and not really wanting to be, for the time being at least

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Between the lines, he's also telling that he wouldn't want to be seen by the other girls, while being with you. Which may mean he didn't tell to all of them that he wasn't exclusive

[yellowsombrero]

Could it be possible he has a social anxiety disorder? That would make someone behave this way.

I would simply ask him if something is wrong.

[BadApple69]

Yes he is dating others and he is telling you that. He doesn’t want to be seen with you out of fear that the other girls will see the two of you. Are you ok with this?

[DonaldDarko]

I think that personal life is just that , it's personal. I don't talk it around if I'm involved with a girl either. This guy seems a little nutty though.

[OneViewpoint]

Who knows what his problem is. But he definitely has a problem. I'd move on. Why wait around to find out?

[WhitneySnow]

He’s seeing someone else and is scared that she’ll catch him with you. Dump this guy!

[MrChinaski]

That does seem the highest probability conclusion.

[karley55]

Sounds hella suspicious, he probably has a whole wife and kids lmao sorry

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

@karley55 That would make sense.

Or he's in a serious relationship and the asker is the "side chick."

[live2dance25]

He likely has a wife, kids, and a whole family. Or at the least, is seeing someone.

[genericname85]

i mean obviously he may be betraying someone or maybe, he's just introverted and doesn't like being exposed to people a lot.

[exitseven]

He is married. You should do some recon and see where he goes afterwards.

[glennos89]

Obviously he isn't honest. Nobody hides when dont have to

[Anonymous]

He is hiding you. It seems like he is prioritizing this other girl.

[Asker]

Yes. Is this an actual relationship?

[Opinion Owner]

Not you and him.

[Asker]

I’m referring to the other woman he is seeing.

[Opinion Owner]

I have no way of knowing that. Either way, you should move on from him. You are the other girl here.

[HollyK21]

Since this is the only response asker is replying to, I’m guessing it’s what she wanted confirmation on, which she already felt. There seems to be another woman taking priority, and I hope that’s enough inclination to let him go, asker, not worth the trouble. This doesn’t seem to be a love match. Move on.

[Asker]

@hollyk21 I just blocked him. I realized that whatever the reason is, I don’t deserve to be treated like a dirty little secret.

[Anonymous]

He either married or involved with someone might be a pedophile or rapist

[_Jenny_]

Sounds kinda weird

[Iron_Man]

he could have a girlfriend who knows

[jahaims]

He cheats or is embarrassed of you

[In_Trance]

He's in a relationship

[MereAnarchy]

He's banging other bitches