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Hi there
I have been dating someone for 15 months now
In the beginning he was stable , attentive , kind , reassuring and very loving
But since the last few months there’s name calling , calling me crazy , saying I’m doing his head in etc
It’s starting to affect my confidence, I’m crying at times and it’s affecting me as a person
Any thoughts on this and how you have dealt with it?
I have been dating someone for 15 months now
In the beginning he was stable , attentive , kind , reassuring and very loving
But since the last few months there’s name calling , calling me crazy , saying I’m doing his head in etc
It’s starting to affect my confidence, I’m crying at times and it’s affecting me as a person
Any thoughts on this and how you have dealt with it?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
5Opinion
You break up and move on before things get worse. This is the real him, whatever good sides he showed you before was an act. Now he feels he has you attached to him enough to drop the act and start breaking you down phychologically. This is what abusers do. They usually don’t start being abusive right away, it’s something they start doing little by little after a while. Then before you know it they’ve completely brainwashed and manipulated you and you start thinking everything is your fault, you’re crazy, nobody else will want you, he’s a good man and you made him like this etc. Leaving is the only solution. He will not stop. This is who he is.
Thank you for your honesty and that’s why I asked the question here on the platform
I haven’t been able to see the pattern that has started to emerge until now
Maybe because I was naive, maybe because I had hopes that he would change
But he won’t listen to what o have to say when I say I’m hurt by what he does , the blame gets shifted to me and no accountability is taken by him
It’s sad and the only option is to leave I think
Well you're still dating a guy who puts you down and calls you crazy and makes you cry. Maybe you are crazy. Boundaries. Have them. Enforce them. Ask yourself why you need this guy around.
To me, it CLEARLY signals the end of the relationship, the only step remaining is to formalize this end?
Hi thank you for reading and sharing your opinion
It’s very sad because when it’s good it’s really good but these things are very hard to take emotionally and you are probably right about it
I don’t reciprocate the behaviour, I always ask him to stop and tell him how it affects me but it hasn’t helped at all
"When it's good it's really good"
Well, I have another opinion, you might be interested in a similar discussion going on there: Why did the guy I was dating suddenly get mean and distant? ↗
Thank you I just read the thread there and I feel sorry for the person going through it
And yes you are right the person I’m dealing with clearly has issues with himself and unfortunately in a relationship where you have to take others feelings in consideration this may trigger or the issues become more transparent
You're welcome, wishing you courage to choose what's best for you 💚
Thank you for your kindness that you have showed me in this thread
It’s so hard to choose what’s best for you but sometimes people leave you no choice but to choose yourself 🩷
How are you over 45 and asking what you should do? Smh
I’m simply asking a question as I’m unsure how to deal with it as I’ve never dealt with it before
It’s sad that you can’t answer what to do if you find someone abusive at your age. This is something a thirteen year old would ask.
You break up, as you are being abused. He will escalate.
Thank you for your reply It clearly shows that it is capable of going that way and I don’t wish to feel even more hurt and pain
Why is he calling you crazy? Are you crazy?
No I’m not crazy and very sound of mind
He calls me that if I react to him or have a different opinion then his
How do you react to him? And what about it does he call crazy?
Can be a different opinion, different view on things or how I do things
I call him out instantly on it and he brushes it off or calls me names
and you've been dating that person for 15 months? i would have left them right away if they didn't correct that behavior from the getgo.
i mean maybe what you do is "crazy". i don't know. but merely calling it that is not a constructive way to communicate.
Thank you for your honesty
No they are pretty normal straightforward things I do
I am an open minded, loyal person and I always try to communicate openly but sadly it doesn’t always work
And you are right maybe I should have left from the get go and I’m naive to think someone could change
i think it's a pretty good rule of thumbt that: only stay with a person if you don't mind them never changing. people rarely change. so rarely that it's not feasible to hope for it. i understand hoping to have found a good partner "if they change in the future" is nice feeling for now. but factually that means you haven't a good one right now right?
Dump him