Black women, how should a white male friend reject you kindly?

[Anonymous]

I have been friends with really awesome younger black woman for about a year now. We met at kava bar about a year ago. We sometimes meet up to just to chat a bit. I also went over to her Christmas party.

As a person she’s cool af. She knows how to be straight up at the right moment but also chill and easy going otherwise. She’s slightly tomboy (ex military) but she’s still feminine.

But I am picking up on a vibe from her that’s she is interested in me. She’s been really good at keeping it at bay. But I just know.

Honestly I wish I was attracted to her. But I’m not. She’s not ugly but it’s just not there.

Anyway I had a really bad experience a few years ago when a black girl aggressively came on to me and I (respectfully as possible) turned her down. She then accused me of being racist. Which was complete bullsh*t and unfair.

Personality wise I often like black girls more then white girls. But there is only a very percentage I’m physically attracted to. The recent girl I am talking about unfortunately doesn’t fit that.

[7Phoenix7]

I think the kindest way is to not make it about her being Black at all..

If she actually expresses interest, just be kind but direct.

I wouldn’t mention not being physically attracted to her and I definitely wouldn’t bring up what happened with another Black woman years ago … that’s unnecessary.

Reject her like you would reject anyone else… kindly, clearly, and without making race the center of it.

[Asker]

Nah I would never tell her about that. Hell no. But it was scary. She uttered a veiled threat after I turned her down about “I would hate to see something happen to your place.”

Really pissed me off because if the opposite happened it would be a #metoo story. Huge societal double standards.

BUT just because of that one incident happened it doesn’t mean I think all black women are like that. Not at all. But they are more (better or worse) straight up and sometimes aggressive from what I’ve noticed over the years.

[MissSunshine2]

Just be honest? Basically several of my guy friends wished they were attracted to me and tried to hit on me, but we both knew it wasn’t there for any of us, so now they’ve got girlfriends and there’s someone I like.