She’s the one, but she’s going to college?

[ryang04]

I started dating this girl at the start of summer it’s been over a month and it’s just different with her. She 24 I’m 28 she has been to college before but she’s going back. We have had about 6 dates so far and got another 3 planned already before she moves to college about 4.5 hours away. I have been in many relationships before and so has she and we have both stated that we have never been in one like this. She has been in an abusive relationship and is still healing. Our dates last as long as we possibly can we literally just talk the whole day like we have know each other for a long time I know all her lore she knows all mine we are very open about our past. That’s not even the crazy part. The crazy part is everything we want in life and relationships match. Kids, animal, political beliefs, communication, boundaries, literally everything. I know what you’re going to say it’s the honeymoon phase, but I have been in past relationships and none of them have felt like this. We talk constantly over text It’s like we just make conversation out of thin air. Well this past date I had suggested we talk about her move. So we both confessed what we wanted I had stated I’m open to try the long distance I could drive up there a couple weekends a month I really don’t mind driving I actually like it. But she had confessed she doesn’t think she wants the long distance because this is a new relationship, she’s going to be under a lot of stress, and she has anxiety. I had told her I respected her decision cause it’s not up to me she the one that would be dealing with the change. That didn’t change the night or our future date plans. She stated to me that I had shown her how a relationship should be and how she should be treated which meant a lot to me. She said we could still be friends and talk and if I’m ever up there to visit her. I just need some advice cause I don’t want to lose her. Also all her friends and family love me. And her cats lol

[shoeboxcerealcard]

She doesn't feel mutual. I know behavior very well. Very well. And I have no doubt she doesn't feel mutual. Why doesn't she feel mutual? I don't know. There is something about you or not about you that is causing her to not feel mutual. Because I know behavior, I know you aren't going to believe me. Although I may cause you to doubt a little.
Regardless this is why relationships are so hard. People think it's just suppose to be perfect from day 1. It's not. You're suppose to build the relationship into what you want it to be. She obviously doesn't understand that and you probably don't either.

If she wanted you, her emotions wouldn't allow her to just give up on it. If you were both wise about relationships you'd both understand that the relationship will go through phases. Long-distance would be one of those. However, it will eventually end and you'll be close together again.
But most people don't understand that and then when you have a new guy or girl knocking on your door every 5 minutes it's hard to cherish anything because everything is replaceable. People don't cherish things they have in abundance naturally. It has to be deliberate and out of wisdom.

Anyway sorry for your loss. Get use to it. Most people are too ignorant to last in relationships.

[HollyK21]

I feel like some people aren’t honest enough with themselves about whether or not an LDR is actually feasible for them vs trying to make it happen because they really like or love the person. So I commend her for recognizing that she cannot prioritize not only and LDR, but a relationship in general at this point in time. I understand that this woman feels like a great fit for you and you really want to try and make it work, but I feel like you should respect her decision vs treating it as some sort of obstacle to navigate around, to get to what you want. Yeah, it’s upsetting, it’s depressing, it’s all the things. But it’s a mature decision and I don’t think she’s making it without having out a lot of thought into it.

[WhitneySnow]

That’s a tough one. You need to convince her that your relationship can survive the distance, but she may not go for it. I guess I would just pour my heart out to her and hope she changes her mind.

[Anonymous]

Yeah no she’s not that interested if she wants to end it and be friends. She likes you for friendship, maybe she even has a crush, but she doesn’t see you as her ”one” the same way you see her.

[Nikki1989]

She has more important things to worry about right now. Life happens.

[In_Trance]

She's most definitely not the one