Why hasn't he texted after our great date and return from travel?

[Anonymous]

Before:

We met at a group dinner on Thursday, sat together and really hit it off. He messaged Friday morning asking if I’d like to go for a drink/coffee over the weekend.

The date:

Met for drinks early Saturday evening. Had so much fun; chemistry built throughout. Tonnes in common (music, sport, interests). He paid, and we had drinks/snacks elsewhere. Walking me to the station, he held my hand (which felt good) and we had an amazing five-minute first kiss. He suggested going back to his. I initially resisted but eventually agreed. Back at his, I pulled away from kissing to say, “I’m really enjoying this, but I’d want more dates before anything happens.” He smiled: “We don’t have to have sex.” A lovely evening of kissing, cuddling and some handsiness.
He made me tea before I woke up, remembered things I liked (“that’s good to know”), used a nickname for me and regularly checked I was comfortable with affection. Everything felt natural, as though I’d known him much longer.
He walked me to the end of the road. He mentioned going to Peru for work for 10 days from the following Sunday. I jumped in saying I was going to Brazil for two weeks from the same Sunday. We chatted about our trips, then he wished me a good lunch and kissed me goodbye on the cheek.
At 10:30pm, he texted: “Hey, thanks for a great time last night! I enjoyed it. Enjoy Brazil! That’s going to be a blast!” I replied the next morning: “So did I, it was really fun ☺️. Thank you, I will! I also think it’s cool that you’re going to Peru, even if it is for work!” No further messages. (He returned from Peru ~1.5 weeks ago; I returned from Brazil four days ago.)

Additional context:

At dinner, he’d mentioned working remotely from South Africa for eight weeks from mid-November. The morning after our date, he mentioned needing to book his return flights for January.
He also wants a new job, as he’s unhappy with his current one despite the remote-working perk.

Be honest but kind 🙏🏻

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't automatically assume he's lost interest. From everything you've described, he seemed genuinely interested that evening. He initiated the second date, paid for drinks, held your hand, kissed you, remembered little things about you and made sure you were comfortable. Those are positive signs.

But I also think there's something worth considering. You both left for separate trips almost immediately, and he has quite a lot going on with work, travelling and possibly changing jobs. It's possible the connection simply lost momentum while you were both away.

That said, he's been back from Peru for a while, and you've been home for four days. If he was really keen to see you again, I'd expect him to make some effort by now.

I wouldn't overthink the night you spent together or assume you did something wrong by wanting more dates before sex. You were perfectly entitled to that boundary.

If I were you, I'd send one casual message saying you hope he enjoyed Peru and asking how he's settling back in. Then leave the ball in his court. If he's interested, he has every opportunity to make another date happen. You shouldn't have to keep guessing whether someone wants to see you again. ❤️

[Lesbologist]

He probably got to know you too well.

You said "date" and "travel" and that's two things that makes me hate women. Red flags for me. So I'm guessing he hasn't done that before and learned to hate it and went and did it. Now he knows. If he's like me... yeah, the pussy is nice... but all that other shit was such a waste of time and money. He's lived, and has now learned... and you're the one that dragged him through that process.

Hopefully I didn't sound rude or unkind... I'm just laying it out for you to abserve my take on it. I've obviously got suckered into that in my past... now they're red flags and something I'll advoid at all costs.

[Nikki1989]

You can talk on phones!

Jeez!

[slatyb]

He's not that into you.

[Anonymous]

Only he really knows 🤷🏼‍♀️