When do you decide to stop seeing other people and go for one?

[Anonymous]

Let me clarify. You're single, you're flirting with several people, maybe going on dates with a few, but nothing serious. Maybe you're hooking up with someone, but you both know it's not going to go anywhere. Then you meet someone you think you could have feelings for, but don't know if it'll work either. Still, other people keep asking you out and such. When do you start saying, "No, sorry" because you think you have something real with one person? I don't want to lead anyone on, yet I don't want to turn people down when I don't know where things are going with this one guy. What would you do?

[EmeraldSky]

I can't really answer that question because I never decide to see multiple people at once anyway. When you start dating multiple people at once, it begins to feel like more of a game and less of a genuine experience, in my eyes. It's really selfish and self-absorbed unless you tell all of the guys that you are dating several guys at once, which can just make you look sleazy and tacky. It can also turn them off because you've basically just told them they are competing for your affection. If you don't tell them, then it becomes unethical because you're playing with people's hearts so you unintentionally become a player/start leading people on. *sighs* it's all just one big headache.
So I can't really answer this because I never put myself in those situations.

[Matrim]

Just keep doing what I'm doing until I have "the talk" with that person.That's what everyone does. Either you initiate it or he does. Doesn't really matter (if you have enough self-confidence that you won't break in pieces that is). And if you both agree that you want to take it to the next level and see how it works, you stop with the other dates and voila you are in an exclusive relationship.

[Asker]

simple enough, thanks!

[Matrim]

You are welcome. Simple is realistic and ...simple :p

[Asker]

haha true. and I like that.