Being inexperienced in dating, relationships, and sex, why is it a turn-off, red-flag for girls but not for

[Anonymous]

guys? I found this poll on this website and these are the results so far, what do you think? if a guy hasn't had any dating or relationship success, like never had a girlfriend, girls would be extremely reluctant to date him, to be his girlfriend, but not so much the other way around, here is the link right here:

link

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+1 y

Does Biology, Evolution play a role, factor here? because if this is true, it makes it sad for me, I'm 23 and I've never had a girlfriend before in my entire life, it is very frustrating, depressing, well when you don't have many friends, are not that outgoing, it's hard, tough being outgoing when you don't have many friends, so meeting new people is tough, very hard for me, I would like to say it is more hurtful for men, because even if a woman has experience

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+1 y

I agree with this question that another guy posted a few months ago, because me and him are in the same boat: link

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+1 y

so why do women hate inexperienced men?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's the inexperience that matters as much as not having confidence. It's also a matter of how you go about it. If you're advertising or putting it out there to women that you're inexperienced in sex, dating, etc then they will think you're needy or desperate or something is very wrong with you.

If you keep it to yourself and act like you like yourself a girl might be more interested in you and if you tell her later on that you're inexperienced, most likely she'll like you for who you are and be more understanding.

Sadly this is a major double standard. If a really attractive or decent looking girl says she's inexperienced, a lot of guys will want her because they think they'll be her special one. If a guy does and even is considered attractive, girls will wonder what's wrong with this guy.

That being said, I was a late bloomer. I didn't start having luck with women until I was 21. Only 2-3 girls knew I was inexperienced and that was only kissing. If they like you enough, they probably won't even bother asking about experience. The girl I'm currently seeing that I met off POF has only asked if I met anyone on the site before, but never about exes which is good because I never had a real girlfriend, just casual dating, hookups, etc.

I guarantee with most women, they won't advertise their sexual experience especially if it's high so there's no reason to put it out there that you are inexperienced.

It's so stupid that people get judged on this crap. Your sexual experience or lack thereof does not make you a better/worse person.

[Asker]

I hope you are right but at the same time it seems too many things make us guys desperate

[Opinion Owner]

Understandable. I remember feeling like I had to get laid or date any girl just to say I had experience.

[Opinion Owner]

I'd also like point out saying you're a virgin too early on is like saying you sleep around too early on. It's too much information.

[Anonymous]

Girls want a guy who will pass on genetics to sons that will let the sons pass the mothers's genes far and wide. For most of evolution, male 'success' was heavily a numbers game. More partners = more kids.

For women, more partners does NOT mean more kids. Their number of kids are fixed, for them its a 'quality' game. Men want inexperienced women because they're not pregnant, and if she gets pregnant, he likely knows its his kid and can invest resources.

[Asker]

interesting, very good points

[RJGraveyTrain]

Listen, it isn't the lack of experience - it's the attitude guys carry with it.

Guys act as though it's something to be ashamed of, something they have to "explain away" or blame on others or their circumstances. If a guy can own the fact that he has no experience and make ZERO issue of it, then it really isn't a problem. It just tends to be that these inexperienced guys allow themselves to be influenced by the word of mouth that states it's unattractive, so they form unattractive traits like a lack of confidence and awkwardness that essentially turns something small into a big issue.

I could happily be with an inexperienced guy if he didn't make it a big deal and simply treated it as: "I had other priorities" or "I just haven't found the right girl yet."

[JanJan]

Sadly, this is the double-standard. Men want a women who is inexperienced, and women want a man who is experienced. This isnt' fair to either party. And frankly, it's impossible. How can men get experience without women getting experience? And how can women remain innocent while men gain sexual skills? Obviously somone's lying here. Men tend to exagerate how many people they have slept with, while women reduce the number. But either way, we are all humans. Sometimes we make a mistake or take a chance on a person that doesn't come through, but that's okay. Try not to judge a person based on their sexual history, if you can. And you don't deserve to be judged either!

[Asker]

it's sad, depressing

[Anonymous]

Who knows why this is the case. It just is. And the sooner us men accept this the better. That is why it is very important that if a guy is in this situation he lies, lies and lies some more. With women and relationships honesty is not always the best policy. Women are grossed out and turned off by men like this so why admit being one. What's funny is there was a UK show which featured a guy who was an older male virgin. Women universally considered him disgusting. He went to a prostitute and lost his virginity as part of a TV special. After that he got a girlfriend. So women considered a man who went to a prostitute more attractive than a virgin.

[Anonymous]

i guess that means any girl can get a guy but not every guy can get a girl

[Anonymous]

yeah, tell me about it, not fair at all, oh well, I guess it is because life is never fair

[HateBeingSingleAspie]

must mean that I am doomed then