Why do some women find "flamboyant" men desirable?

I have wondered this for a while: Why do some (many of which are very attractive) women want to date/have relationships with men that, at first glance, would be seen as "stereotypically" homosexual. This is different than being metro-sexual because I often see guys that act more feminine than many women. Is it because these types of women feel safe with them or is there another reason?

I ask this because I personally find it odd. I honestly cannot recount a man seeing a woman that acts like a man and looks like a man and then saying, "Damn, I want to be with her!".

So please, if you have any insight, feel free to answer. I will try to give a Best Answer and I will give a luxurious "up arrow" to anyone that provides a half decent answer. Thanks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it differs. Many women do care about aesthetics. However, many women are attracted to opposites. I would say what I find attractive about a man who may fall into this stereotype is that there is at least an illusion that he may be softer, easier to talk to (making me feel safer) and more clear about where he stands. For such a man, he may be more expressive...Many women would love someone who offered more words of affirmation.

    That said, I can take a man being manly...just need him to be more clear. I find men overall very sensitive but not communicative so I often feel I'm in a minefield with someone who stonewalls but just won't admit what's going on. These stereotypically homosexual men are as sensitive as any other but may be willing to communicate it.

    • Ok, definitely in the lead for best answer.

      When you say that you feel "safer", do you mean that he is less threatening and does that have to do with past experiences? Because the traditional view is that a woman might like to have a masculine man to "protect" her, causing her to feel "safe".

    • Show All
    • So, do you feel a guy is less likely to hurt you if he is "flamboyant" or comes across as feminine as opposed to traditionally masculine?

    • I don't feel he's less likely to hurt me. It's possible that IF a guy seems open & easy to talk to, you feel safe. But men are men. Often times, we encounter the same things in relationships because we are the same in each relationship but men @ the root are similar and women @ their root are similar. It's all an illusion to think that the way someone appears on the outside means that that what moves them differs from what moves others. I don't find masc men dif from fem. I prefer masc men.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • there are more differences between members of the same sex, than there are differences, between members of a different sex. persons who fall into the androgynous category, physiologically, have healthier, physiological states better experience in school, more success in jobs & relationships.

    perhaps your idea of a woman & a man, is just a personal taste. you would not expect everyone to love brewers yeast & yogurt, just because I do. people have different tastes,. & you can have very definite tastes.

    what a woman is, and what a man is, behavior wise, is a very fluid thing.

    • What's the proof in androgynous being happier?

    • (more) Emotional stable & better adjusted. not jut happier.

      Cross cultural Studies.

      Where does anyone get a general view of anything from, outside of their own head.

  • I personally have no desire for flamboyant men. I dated one for a little bit but he would act so feminine it completely turned me off. I like my men to be manly lol. Maybe these girls like guys like this because they can boss them around or go shopping together or who knows. Different strokes for different folks they say lol.

    • lol Yeah, I'll never get it. Well, thanks for the answer anyway.

  • I don't mean to be stereotypical or anything - I'm all for gay marriage, stereotypes don't fit everyone, etc.

    Gay men are usually have more well kept appearances and more flattering clothing. Until you start to get to know them and find out they are gay they seem much more appealing.

    • So, you're saying that you like the stereotypical looking gay guy because they are more hygienic and have more appealing style?

    • Yes.

What Guys Said 2

  • Can you believe guys like this are considered extremely desirable in Japan?


    I'll never understand this sh*t man.

    • I'll never understand it. I'll see people around my university campus and you'd swear these guys are gay (which I really couldn't care less if they were), but then you'll see a good looking woman kiss them. Or I'll see a lot of guys that are flamboyant and talk about their girlfriend. I'll never understand it.

    • I was thinking about that sh*t the other day while walking down the street. Those dudes are soft as hell.

  • I think what you're talking about reflects cultural rather then innate views of masculinity vs. femininity.

    To you these guys seem effeminate.

    To the girls who like them, they probably do not.

    It wasn't that long ago that this was how manly men dressed:


    • Sure, but that symbolized wealth and social status, much different.

    • I suspect some of the guys you are seeing are perceived as cool and therefor high status by the girls with them