Unenthusiastic texts from boyfriends drive girls crazy! What do guys think about this?

[Anonymous]

I've heard so many girls complain about this and it happens with my boyfriend all the time and I get upset about it too. I feel like girls probably make a huge deal out of this when it probably isn't that huge of a deal...but I HATE when I text something sweet to my boyfriend as I say good night and then all he says is "Good night." It just seems so...thoughtless and unemotional...I'd love for him to say sweet things :\

What do guys think about this?

[kholland65]

Can I go back in time and please live when cell phones didn't exist?

You realize that by your logic, you are just as at fault as he is. So you saying good night is OK but when he says it, its not sweet enough.

Either way, basing him your emotional connection of texting is childish, your profile says you are 25-29 but this post seems like it came from a 14yr old.

You're clearly fishing for compliments since you obviously are insecure. I'm going to tell you right now you aren't going to get it over texts.

Girls like you drive us guys crazy because you are never satisfied. I simply reply to your goodnight text with the same thing back and you get your panties in a notch.

Texting is stupid, its emotionless, and impersonal. Girls are will die holding their breath if they keep expecting guys to text them 500 times a day and write them borderline love poems on their phone. It ain't gonna happen, get over it and focus on more important things in your relationship.

[Asker]

Well, I see what you're saying. But, I guess I feel like he doesn't talk to me enough in general. We live kind of far from each other and I've only been seeing him once a week if even lately. He doesn't call me (and never has), so I rely on texts. And it seems like he'd rather be doing other things than talking to me :[

[HandsomeBobbi]

Whoah, I get your point, even if I don't agree with it, but that wasn't a very nice post. Ouch. Sounds like you're taking things a wee bit personal. I'm guessing your girlfriend(if you have one) makes the same complaint? Or you just really don't like texting in general, either way I think you might want to be kinder in the future when giving answers, no need to be rude and sarcastic.

[nggag]

Talking like a coach, not to be taken personally sorry. Trying to protect her from getting hurt. To the asker, I think you have suspicions about him seeing someone else. Unfortunately, it's a very real possibility. I don't want you to get hurt, but you may want to ask him that directly. I've learned its sometimes good to be direct.

[kholland65]

Yes, I have had a girl in the past who bitched about my texting habits and I broke up with her because of it (amongst other things). What you have to understand is in all honestly, he would actually rather be doing other things that talk to you because men are not communicators. It's not he doesn't like you, its that he just doesn't like talking, especially over text. Men are physical, we need physical touch and closeness to feel a bond, where as women they need communication.

[kholland65]

That being said, there should be a compromise. You just have to understand that men are not talkers, conversation is not as stimulating to us as it is to women. We need to be physically close to you. Since it does nothing for us, we don't go out of our way to text you.

[Anonymous]

This is one of those things, where guys need to be taught (usually by an older male role model) because women will never tell you straight up how important it is to them, and for a guy, it couldn't possibly matter less.

Girls need the frills.

It's that simple. They need the frills.

They will never ask for them, and they will not see them if they live in a WORLD constantly filled with frills.

But just throw a few in, now and then, unexpectedly... and they will squeeeeeeee all the way home.

It's the simplest thing in the world. So simple, that many guys can't believe or won't believe how much importantance girls put on it. But it's true.

[ilisamay]

How long are you together? I've read over the comments and it's odd to me that all you do is text no talking on the phone especially if you only see each other once a week no offence to you but it sounds like a bit of a weird situation to me, are you both over 25?

[Asker]

I'm 25 and he's 26. We've been together for about 8 months. And live in different states. I used to work near by but don't work by him anymore so I'm trying to find a new job or move closer.

[ilisamay]

I think you need to communicate more and in a better way than text messages. Things can be taken up wrong in text messages, I forever take my partner up wrong in texts and now the only time we text is for little things, I understand living far apart is difficult but you need to tell him you'd prefer to speak in person on the phone at least twice a week if your seeing each other at the wknd. How will your relationship evolve if your only texting during the week? Communicating is key

[ilisamay]

If you both want the relationship to be a success and texting isn't going to work! That's what 16 year olds do in relationships

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I've never a problem adding a few sweet words into a goodnight text.

I see a lot of guys bitching about texting though, and I don't get it. Seriously, how damn hard is to to transform "Good night." into "Good night, beautiful ;)" anyway?

Personally, I'd rather have my girlfriend going to bed with happy thoughts of me, instead of wondering why the hell I'm acting like such a douchebag.

[Asker]

hahaha YES!

[nggag]

But it makes you crazy for him. You don't like it but at the same time it creates attraction. If he was all super sweet to you there'd be no challenge in keeping him. Thinking he's yours makes you wonder and like him more, knowing he's yours is less exciting.

[Cynthia325]

Not true at all.

[Asker]

That may be true. But I feel like he's not as interested in me because I can't play the same game. He knows I'm into him. So what can I do to create attraction for him?

[kholland65]

nggag is spot on. But girls won't recognize this because its all subconscious and emotionally based. QA, he is attracted to you, he just doesn't show it in the way you would like him to, aka over text.

[Moloch]

Haha he knows.

[WeaponZero]

whats clear here, and why I'm surprised it isn't clear to you, is that communicating that way through text simply isn't natural to them the way it is to you. you'll get that if you talk on the phone like mature grownups, but expecting it in texts? that's just stupid high school nonsense.

[Asker]

He doesn't call me. We don't ever talk on the phone...it's only through texts.

[WeaponZero]

how is he in person?

[Asker]

In person he's really sweet and always holding my hands and being cuddly and I'm so attached to him! We have a lot of fun together. I saw him this weekend on Saturday. And then because we live kind of far we don't see each other as much as I'd like and I get sad :[ He said he has to work a lot this week...but it doesn't seem like he is. He could ask me to come see him but he hasnt. I said I love you to him a few weeks ago and he said he doesn't feel that way yet...and that makes me worry.

[Asker]

He was hurt really badly in his previous relationship. He said he doesn't know why it's taking so long to "fall in love" with me. :[ But I don't want to make excuses for him saying it's just cause he was hurt or something. But we both seem content when we are together.

[WeaponZero]

it sounds like he's just not good at communicating when not in person. that's something you need to accept about him, that he needs to be sitting there in front of you to be able to communicate with you. a lot of people are like that. I am so I know what its like.

[Anonymous]

cuz texting is f*cking lame because the emotion, delivery, timing and inflection in your speech gets lost. try calling instead.

no guy wants to text back: "I love you too snuggle puss." that's gay. just call him.

[Asker]

"I love you too snuggle puss." that's gay"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My boyfriend doesn't call...EVER. We only text. Sigh.

[Moloch]

Texting is annoying. That is all.