I dated a guy last year for a short time and I tell him from the start that I don't date smokers and he says he doesn't smoke. well One day I was at his place, he told me he wasn't feeling well and he was being very unpleasant and he just went in his room which was weird to me because he invited me over. But anyway after awhile he didn't come out so I just walked right in and he was just laying in his bed smoking, it was the first time I ever saw him do it. he says to me "well I know that you don't like to be around smoke so I just came in here to do it"
wtf? well I know that guy was a jerk though and he lied about a lot of things.
but right now I have a new guy that I have been dating for 4 months, he is awesome, we talk everyday, go on dates, stay over each others place, share everything with each other and have a lot in common, my friends thinks he is a great guy too and I'm starting to get feelings for this guy.
But last night I saw him smoking a cigarette, I don't know if he knew I saw him, but when I saw him I just all of a sudden looked down, like I couldn't look at him the same anymore. My chest sunk in and I could not even look in his direction. Like one minute I was so happy to see him and thinking to myself with a big smile on my face "isn't he so cute" and now I feel like he is a stranger..maybe I don't know him at all, that's how I feel.
He has been really good to me but I'm really confused about him.
I didn't talk to him today but I'm not sure I even want to because I don't know what I should say to him.
Im a big health freak, and like to stay in shape I've also had an aunt die from lung cancer and smoking and I have history in my family with drug and substance abuse leading to my moms death. If you wanna smoke go smoke I'm not judging you but I don't want to fall in love with someone who is gonna end up leaving me because they are dead, or I don't want to have to be in the hospital with you going through the same things I have already been through all over again.
Wouldn't you want to date someone you are compatible with, not someone you have to lie to. How come a smoker wouldn't rather date a smoker?
Most Helpful Guy
This question is not about smoking, it is about lying. If you told the first guy you don't date smokers, he lied to get into your life or he was scared that you wouldn't give him a chance to change. Don't know the guy so can't say which one it was.
Honesty is something you have to demand from everyone around you without mercy or you will be left alone to suffer the consiquences. You have a very good reason not to date smokers, and I am sorry for your losses and hell you have been through.
If I was your BF, I would quitt for you. So if you are dating now, make the demands, act like a leader and bring out your concerns and terms of relationship. If you are not dating, know that there are others out there who smoke but get all the energy from the girl and will go a lot further in making miracles than quit smoking.
If you want, answer my question:
If there's a will, there is a way.