A guy I rejected (friendly) keeps asking me to hang out and makes hints on dating me

[CrystalMinds]

There's this guy I know who had a long serious relationship with a girl but they broke up a couple of months ago. Since they broke up, he talks to me a lot and keeps saying we should meet up and hang out. At first I was reluctant to give in because it felt like he was looking for a substitute for his ex girlfriend. I told him so, that I'm not a replacement and I'm not into him like that. He said he knew and he didn't mean to give me the impression I was a replacement. A while ago he started talking about dating me, and I said "no, I don't date friends ^^" and he was like: "oh I'm already friend zoned, that's fast", so I thought he got it. Now yesterday he told me he wanted to meet up next week, go get a drink and if he missed his train he had to sleep with me. I said no, just make sure you get your train.

Then, AGAIN, he talked about my love life and if I hadn't found a guy for me where I go to school, and I said: "no, you know I'm single for life, lol" so then he said: "ah, if you don't find anyone, we'll date".

Seriously, face palm! How could I have not been any clearer to him? Now I don't really feel like meeting up Because he keeps talking about me being single and him wanting to date me :s

I thought I was pretty clear I don't wanna date him. Any ideas on how to be possibly any more obvious?

Updates

+1 y

So I gave in once, to go out for a drink, neither one of us called it a "date" so I assumed it wasn't. It was cool, friendly not flirty and I enjoyed it. But the minute he left, the texting started, asking and kinda pushing me to meet up again. I kept saying no, now he's pissed but that's not my problem. I think/hope he finally got it :)

[MystiKaL]

Send him a message saying "whilst I'm flattered that you want me more than friends, I would like to say that I honestly think of you just as friends and I hope you can respect that. Please can you not make passes at me as it is upsetting me and causing a friction between our friendship".

Seriously if he is a good mate then he will listen. If he fails to listen and continues, back off this guy big time. Then it shows he clearly he has no respect and is arrogant enough to think that if continues to make passes at you then you will give in.

Oh one last thing - cut down on the flirting with him IF you are doing this. A lot of women flirt and even if it is harmless, it can give off the wrong impression to certain guys who fail to get the message!

[TheDigitalSaint]

What you need to do is hook him up with a female friend. Seriously! You've been fairly clear in your intention. If you don't have a female friend handy, you need to take him to a bar and play wing woman. Get this man another woman to distract him. Show him by playing wing woman that you are interested only in friendship, but that you want him to have a woman that is more than a friend in his life. That woman just happens to be someone other than you. Follow my prescription above and he should be a happy man before long. Time to get to work!

[CrystalMinds]

Yeah, when we go out for a drink I'll be all subtle and say: "oh that's a pretty girl, isn't she something for you?"

[TheDigitalSaint]

Be more proactive than that. Go up to the girl and talk to her. Introduce your friend to her. He'll have much better chances that way.

[DrumNB4ssDubst3p]

Notice how he ignored the "im not into you" part... RED FLAG!

you have trouble being blunt and hurting him, even though you need to in order to be honest. Make it 10 times clearer that your not interested in him , and if he still doesn't get it then start going for other guys right in front of him. Sadly a lot of guys are complete morons when it comes to this and you need to make it very clear till he gets it.

[prophecy]

"Any ideas on how to be possibly any more obvious?"

"listen, mike, I'm flattered that you like me, but I'm not interested in you that way. ok? I'm simply not attracted to you."

say this, and you're done.

[CrystalMinds]

I already told him that I'm not gonna date him. Literally.

[prophecy]

you didn't.

you said "no, I don't date friends." now he's rationalizing like "ok, she's (maybe) attracted to me, but we're friends and that's the reason she doesn't wanna date me. she doesn't wanna lose me as a friend."

you need to tell him you're *NOT* attracted to him i.e. I don't like your looks and/or personality.

[CrystalMinds]

I thought I was rejecting him in a nice way, argh, damn. Seems like rejecting someone can't be done without feelings hurt.

[Upfromtheeast]

Sounds as if he was not really committed to your female friend; which in-turn, will play you like a fiddle. Seems like the aggressive type who will keep harassing you until you give up and then and then leave you. The more you accept a call, text or communicate in any other form is just telling him that there is still a chance that something will happen between both of you. What you should do is completely cut him and don't reply, not even the word "HI"

[CrystalMinds]

What female friend? There is no female friend in common between the guy and me.

[CrystalMinds]

Him and his ex dated for 2-3 years by the way, so he was committed. He talks to me a lot about her so it's obvious he's not over her.

[martyfellow]

You could get a guy friend to play the role of boyfriend, 'accidentally' meet up with this guy with yur arms around each other and snuggling up...! Pictures are worth a thousand words..!

[martyfellow]

You should never let 'no' mean anything else. Big mistake even to go out for a 'cool' drink, as you can see..it gave him hope, now he'll not give up for a long time (update)

[CrystalMinds]

Oh he will. The reply to my friendly decline was: K, np.

[martyfellow]

Good luck--keep the fake boyfriend gambit in mind!

[CrystalMinds]

Haha, I will!

[martyfellow]

Did it work? Best answer?

[CrystalMinds]

Haha, I'm not too keen on pretending to have a boyfriend and asking a guy to play one ^^

[martyfellow]

Wouldn't it be fun?

[CrystalMinds]

I'm not someone who will pretend to have a boyfriend to "get rid" of a guy who's annoying me and chasing me. Ignoring does the trick too now, lol

[martyfellow]

OK, but maybe you might need this if the guy really won't take the hint.

[CrystalMinds]

I'll just ignore him then :)

[martyfellow]

Good luck, hope it works for you! Some guys don't easly accept rejection...

[CrystalMinds]

Apparently... We had another discussion this week, he told me I was acting distant, I said: no, only when you push the whole datingthing. He said he's interested in me, I said I wasn't and it's uncomfortable when he pushes the dating thing. so then he said, OK. So he knows, I HOPE.

[martyfellow]

:)

[Konnour]

Well - at least this is not another "why I'm not approached?!" question...

[CrystalMinds]

Haha, yeah, I'm already over the fact I don't get approached :p

[Konnour]

Um, what?

[CrystalMinds]

Haha, nevermind

[Yeahhbro]

He is the kind of guy that doesn't take no for an answer.