He ignored my texts. Do I come across as needy/clingy?

[Anonymous]

This guy I'm dating has an extremely stressful job and has been traveling a lot recently from this country to another almost non-stop for about more than two weeks now. I understand he is kinda preoccupied with work so I would text him like twice a week to let him know I'm thinking about him. I never bugged him when he took hours to reply. Even when he didn't reply, I just let it go, just gave him a couple days then I would text him again not mentioning about the text getting no reply that day. But he has been quite distant recently and ignored my texts for a few times already and never said sorry like he used to, so I am still worried if I came across as clingy/needy or he is just so preoccupied? Advice please, thanks.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but seems he's just not that into you.

I'm dating a busy guy too, I have no idea what's going on his work but he works till late night sometimes, but 9 out of 10, he's the one who initiates texts/calls first and he never goes a day wo text. We don't even text back and forth, but he'd still send me at least one text everyday.

Your guy can be extremly busy and type of guy who doesn't like to text nor texts everyday, yet, not replying back to your text is a bad sign.

I would just not text him and see if he works on it.

If he doesn't, you know you deserve better. If he does, means he's interested.

Either way let him work for the relationship not you.

If you keep trxting while he's been ignoring you few times, that will make it looking clingy.

[Anonymous]

Regardless how busy someone is, it doesn't even take 60 seconds to text, "Hey, I'm super busy and can't talk but wanted to say hi and I hope you're doing well. Miss you." Or something similar, you know?

I don't think it necessarily means he's lost interest though. A lot of guys don't even think about stuff like this, it doesn't occur to them, even the good guys that truly care. For some, constant contact is a priority, for others, it's not.

If being ignored is bothering you, stop texting him. If he wants to talk to you or text you, he will.

Honestly though, if he's too busy for a relationship, he shouldn't be in one. You may have to make a difficult choice.

[why-makoto-kun]

You're not being clingy/needy at all. He just doesn't see texting you as a priority, especially if you don't contact each other via phone or Skype. I would just move on. "Busy" or not, he would text you within a 24-hour period if he was interested. It sounds like you're not even dating, if you're sending text messages and he doesn't respond.

[Asker]

We were all fine before and he just started this way for about three weeks when his job is getting more and more stressful each day and requires a lot of travel. So we can't manage to meet often, just once in a while when he is not traveling.

Thank you for your input :)

[why-makoto-kun]

I think he is preoccupied on purpose. I'm sorry. :(

[Asker]

Hope it's not the case :(

[Anonymous]

It could be that he is losing interest in you. But it could also be something else.

It depends on how stressful the job is. Does he feel that he has to manage both his job, which doesn't give him much time with you, and his relationship at the same time? It could be that he is juggling this in his mind, and he doesn't know what to do. Texting twice a week is okay, but I don't know how much is too much. He could also be preoccupied, but don't take his not answering your texts as a sign that he doesn't care about you. His distance could mean that something is bothering him.

[Anonymous]

"to let him know I'm thinking about him."

Just so you know, guys don't really need that. It's not clingy if you do it, but it's not necessary.

Most girls (and maybe this is you) are really only doing it, because they *expect* their guy to do the same for them.

If this is really why you're doing it, then yes that is needy. But honestly, not more needy than the average girl. I'd say you're fine. You should continue as you're doing, and don't give him a hard time over missed texts.

[Asker]

No, I never expect him to reply immediately or nag him when he doesn't reply :).

We've been flirting for more than a year and started dating for 2 months so just don't want him to have the impression that I am getting needy :).

Thanks for the advice.

[martyfellow]

He is drawing away from you, and yes, you aren't taking his hint, so he's probably thinking you are being clingy.

If you also stop responding to HIM, you will find out if he really has any interest in continuing to date you.

[Asker]

Do you really think he is drawing away? :( that's really sad cos I really like him :(. But he still promised me this stressful period will get over soon and that he is tired of traveling but it's job so he had no choice :( not sure if I still should give him time or just move on

[martyfellow]

No one's that busy that they can't make some sort of answer to a friendly message!

[yaddayaddayadda02]

He really could be busy, but I doubt he's unaware he hasn't answered your texts. If he was really interested, he'd find the time for some kind of contact.

[PhilaPenn]

Unfortunately I think that this guy is just not that into you. These are things that I do when I'm trying to pull away.

[Anonymous]

he doesn't seem interested my boyfriend owns a golf company and he travels every year January-April and I talk to him all day :/

[why-makoto-kun]

Exactly, if he wants to talk to you, he will make it happen.

[Asker]

Then I should be worried :(. I tried to find an excuse that because this is his new job (he just started the job when we started dating and I really understand he is setting his job as his priority) but yeah, I know what you meant...But its really hard to move on so I'm wondering if I should have him some time to get familiar with his new job.

[Opinion Owner]

how long have yall been dating? he should make an effort to let you know he still interested in you. I know he isn't working 24 hours a day. after his work day is over. he should take a nap and devote the rest of that night to you. or at least text you for an hour. you need to tell him. if you don't tell him it bothers you hell never know

[Asker]

We've known each other for more than a year but been dating for 2 months now. He is actually a guy who has hard time to express his feelings and most recently when we are already together he still asked me question like, do you really me? I am still not convinced that you want to be with me etc, even though I am always sweet and affectionate. He even got upset when I went out with my friends instead of going out with him.

[Asker]

Sorry typo, I meant he asked 'Do you really like me?'

[why-makoto-kun]

Oh nice, he doesn't like you having your own friend-time, yet wants you to wait around for him while he ignores you. "Hard time expressing his feelings" = cop-out for "I don't like you that much but I'm not ready to tell you yet" IMO. Seriously, this guy is lame. I've dealt with a lame guy like this. It's not worth it. You stress out and his ego gets stroked, then he views you as "clingy" when your needs aren't getting met.

[Opinion Owner]

hes crazy lol

[Asker]

Sad but sounds pretty much like it...:(. Guess I should really think about moving on...

[Opinion Owner]

yeah. moving on would be smart. but let him know how you feel. if he doesn't improve then you should haul ass.

[why-makoto-kun]

You can tell him why you're breaking up and that you're hurt, but he probably already knows. The silent treatment/fade-out is really the most callous thing you can do besides direct insults.

[islands7]

He's busy!

[sarang2013]

find another