Do shy girls not know how to flirt back?

[Anonymous]

Okay so I like this girl and I'm still at it.

I haven't done MAJOR flirting but just enough that she (or at least I think) knows I like her. I have touched her but she never seems to touch me back or initiate contact. She seems very distant in person, much more than say... her much more lively emails.

On top of that, she always smiles at me but she never takes an aggressive stance. I'm completely dumbfounded by how this girl is acting.

I think she's really beautiful inside and out. But her complete lack of reciprocated flirting tells me maybe she doesn't care. She has my number but never calls or text. I would, but I never got her number.

I'm probably going to ask her out again tomorrow (didn't really get a response the first time...), but I need to know is it really common for shy girls to not flirt back? Or to just wait and wait and wait for me to put my foot down.

[katatza]

I can tell you, being extremely shy around guys myself, the answer is pretty much yes :/

Shy girls are usually pretty much also the nervous and insecure girls and are afraid of making a move. We're afraid so much that the guy might not actually like us (in THAT way) that we're afraid of embarrassing ourselves or ruining the friendship if the feelings aren't mutual. Shy girls like me usually need some more obvious approaches from guys to feel secure enough to flirt back. Also, I tend to rely on mutual friends of the guy and me to find out from them what he thinks. All in all though, shy girls can be bad at flirting. My best advice would be to try and be more obvious (but not too aggressive because that can scare a shy girl). Do stuff like complimenting her (a simple "you look very pretty" can suffice) or put your arm around her, listen to her and look her in the eye, ask her about herself and show that you're interested in getting to know her, etc, etc, etc.

[Asker]

So you're telling me that she's too afraid to txt or call? And she's just more comfortable putting her words on paper (or email) since she can better express herself? I mean for the most part, I'm not really shy, but why does she distance herself (lack of communication) yet... doesn't at the same time (tries to be around me, says "hi" when she sees me). I figured saying "hi" wasn't a shy girl trait... but I can't pin her down (pun intended).

[katatza]

Ahh this sounds exactly like me! Calling is very intimate when you think about it because it involves hearing the other person's voice and you don't have all the time in the world to carefully think about what to say (like in email or letters) and texting is kind of intimate too because it still involves phones (or if she's really like me, it's because of limited texting and bills). She might be saying hi because she likes you but isn't sure how to approach you and wants you to make a move.

[girlinterrupted3]

"but why does she distance herself (lack of communication) yet... doesn't at the same time"

maybe she's not 100% sure if you like her

Doesnt mean you're a "shy" girl, you are unable to talk or say hi to people...

[sexycrystal54313]

from personal experience being a shy girl yes we tend not to flirt back alot, and I'm just like the girl your describing, I am very open when it comes to emailing and texting but I clam up on the phone and in person, I think with myself and maybe your girl it coems down to self confidence issues at the heart of the problem, I would keep talking to her and trying to draw out her personality that lies beneath the shyness, I have found that is what works with me, good luck I know what a struggle it is, I struggle with overcoming this myself and have just started to

[Anonymous]

im guilty. I'm still new to dating and can be extremely shy, not only do I not know how to flirt back, but at times I give the total wrong message that I'm not interested or even I hate you because I can be so shy, like for example last time I saw my crush I got shy and nervous I saw him, then looked back down and walked faster and faster away, and he mustve thought what a bitch I was, but in reality I am crazy about him.

the only way id overcome the shyness is if he calls me or talks to me, makes convo and lets me open up...break the ice and make things at ease with my friends I'm the most hyper loud person ever...but when it comes to the guy I like I'm dead meat.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is very common especially when they LIKE the person, they find it even harder to flirt with them. And this includes eye contact, touching and so on.

Is she a girl at work or school?

[Asker]

School

[Anonymous]

I can't speak for other shy girls, but I personally have no idea how to flirt.