My boyfriend seems to be burned out from his job... How can I make him feel better?

When I 1st knew my boyfriend, he used to text me and we had great times, laughing at each other jokes and you can see the enthusiasm from the text. Now we had become a couple for a week, and recently he's been working for one week straight, 24-30 hours per session, non-stop, has probably only 3-5 hours sleep per day or even once every 2 days! FYI he's working as a riot police and there are current ongoing protest in the part of the city we currently live in. He still texted me everyday, but he seems like he's not into it, or he's not in the mood... I know he's burned out from his job, I tried not to be upset, today I asked him if something is wrong, he said no, he said it's just from work, and he tried to talk to me, but I can't see he's really not into it... What can I do to make him feel better? I sent him a text saying that I understood that he's burnt out from his job lately, and that effect his behavior, but I want him to know that he's at his best when he smile, and I love his smile. No matter what happen, I'm always at his side, and all I asked him at least not to forget me, don't worry about me, I can take care well on myself, just text me when he feels much better. *big hugs*... So I'm not gonna text him anymore do you think my text will cheer him up? But even if he text me what shall I do? It hurts me when he talks as if he's not into it, but I don't want him to think that I'm not supportive. What do you think?

He texted me good morning my darling next morning and nothing more after that. The day after that (which was yesterday) I finally managed to chat to him and he seems so sad... He told me that they told him (and few more others) to go to different city (and they only gave him notice like few hours before and told him to fly that night + didn't even gave details like until when they will be there) because the protest in the other place worsen.
I told him not to worry as I will be waiting for him here and he told me he misses me a lot... I guess he's really burned out from his job but I'm happy enough to know he's still showing the same affection towards me :) thanks for all your answers, I really appreciate it guys :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes we tend to worry over nothing. Truth is we are being self centered when instead of giving them the space they need, we focus on ourself (like is it me?). Some guys need the support like they want to hear from their girlfriend all the time but other guys when they focus on their job, they just need some space becasue they do not want thier bad mood to affect the ones they care about. It has nothing to do with you or whether he will feel better or not after getting your texts. He's just focussed on something important at the moment, not that you're not important too. It' s just that he knows you are always there for him and that's a big support itself. I realize this is the case with this guy I'm in love with. We see each other often and text daily. When work is priority and he's super busy, he will minimise conversation with me. I was upset too so I know how you feel but right after that period is over for him, I noticed he's back to normal and we are back to our usual routine again of hanging out and talking/texting. Just think at this moment that it's not all about you. Stop being concerned whether your texts made him happy or not. I'm sure it did but all he needs to know is simply 'I love you'. that's more than enough.


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What Guys Said 2

  • i'd like a nice massage after work if I was tired and such

    • I wish I could do that too, but he didn't even come home regularly anymore, and we're not living together, so how could I give him a massage :( Plus, do you think the last text will at least make him smile?

  • Take a holiday - go to a health spa or retreat.

    And above all (I can't stress this enough) do not try to get him to talk if he doesn't want to talk.

    Men do not find talking relaxing the way women do. It doesn't help us.


What Girls Said 1

  • Let him sleep, get some rest. Tell him to call you when he's all rested up or he needs someone to talk to. I deal with this all the time. I'm just happy to know he's still alive. Don't ask what's wrong, ask what you can do to make it easier for him.

    • do you think that last text I sent to him will make him feel happier? I just want to cheer him up, I tried telling him jokes on text, but he just give me a :) not like before... So I decided to give him some times for himself... I really hope that last text will at least make him smile :(

    • Maybe. But just stop worrying. I know its hard, trust me, I get worried too but the trick is to never let them know you are worried. When they get this stressed, I leave it at good morning or goodnight texts and just wait for them to come back. He sent you a :), he's okay.

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