My boyfriend cuddles his mom, is it normal?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is the cuddling type and loves to touch and cuddle.

Recently I started to notice he is constantly touching his mother. Stroking her back, hugging from behind (holding over her breasts), holding her, sitting so close to her like he is holding her in his arms, stroking her hair, massaging her. And she also is stroking him, for example his thigh or hair and etc.

This stroking and hugging is from maybe 10 seconds up to few minutes, but if they are sitting right next to each other it may be a lot longer.

Once I noticed they were kissing good buy (in our country people kiss good buy on the cheek) and they kissed on the lips. I asked him about it and he said it was an accident and they normally never kiss on the lips. I believe him.

I asked him about this cuddling also and he claims his mother is lonely (she has not been married for a long long time, his father was absent in his childhood) and he feels sorry for her and wants her to feel somebody hug her and show her some love.

I my opinion it is not his place to comfort her with this approach, she should get this closeness with some other men then from her son.

So I have 2 questions:

1. Why does he do this and feel the need to do this (and also why does the mother participate in this)?

2. What is your opinion on the matter, would you stop seeing your boyfriend because of this?

[noumenon]

Omg It's like he's five years old or something. No but seriously, it sounds to me like the mother has serious abandonment issues. Possible theory: growing up these issues of his mother's stifled his emotional development, he never learned to stand on his own two feet and never learned the art of resisting his mother and not indulging her in the machinations of her abandonment issues. Which is not his fault I suppose, but it is also really lame. I wouldn't like to date someone like that personally. I'm not saying folk shouldn't be tactile, but this just seems way over the top.

Still, I obviously do not have access to the full facts and all the above is guesswork, so don't know how useful it is to you. Just my thoughts.

[gaurav83]

Well..hard to say. But it's really rare to kiss on lips accidently, specially when someone noticed u. What about other times when they say goodbye. You are right there must be limits. Holding over her breasts and and unusual stroking shouldn't be there in a their relationship. You can ask him to encourage his mom to get into a relationship. See what he says. May be they both were lonely and have been living like that ever since his dad left. Try to talk to him about not touching her more than she needs. And not to touch over certain places. It doesn't feel right. Well if you find out they something is going on between them(fingers crossed) then leave him.

[TheoryOfAvarice]

1. Oedipus complex.

2. Unsure. It sounds like a bit much from your description... I don't know if I would stop seeing my boyfriend because of it, that's an awkward situation to be in. I would try to talk to him about it first, which it seems you have, but you may want to talk to him about it again.

[Anonymous]

He loves his mom. He wants to show her he cares, and age is just a number. So what's the problem?