When you have feelings for a girl and you miss her, what holds you back from telling her?

[Anonymous]

I have a question for guys " when you have feelings for a girl and you miss her, what holds you back from telling her?"

There's this guy we're friends well we were "Not Really Sure"

We were like BFFS last semester but he treated me like a guy friend and not like a girl he was interested in.

He does things that clearly show me he has feelings and misses me but verbally he's just not there and a lot of the things he's doing is really starting to make me angry

I've caught him stalking me "following me around in his car trying to see where I'm going"

I've caught him watching me "if he sees me from a distance, he'll usually just stop and stare and I'll just pretend like I don't see him"

Heard his guy friends talking about me, a few have even stopped and said hi or waved " again I pretend like I don't know what's going on, plug in my headphones and look the other way"

Nothing personal but I feel really uncomfortable around them especially when they know things about me meanwhile I don't even know their names

He even made a fake Facebook profile and added me, I sent it a message with pretty much our whole scenario and told him I wouldn't judge if he admitted to it

"didn't add his name in the message either just a random scenario"

" needless to say That Facebook profile no longer existed after hat message was read, I must've struck a nerve"



A few days ago I texted him asking him if he was free to talk "I got an instant reply"

I almost told him that I missed him and that I loved him but then I got angry thinking about how ridiculous this whole situation has gotten and thought " If he really missed me he'd pick up the phone just like I did, he clearly hasn't lost my number"

So instead of telling him I replied 3 hours later and told him to forget it, I didn't want to talk anymore because I couldn't say anything without it sounding awkward

I don't understand why he won't just talk to me upfront instead of stalking,spying and snooping

[Anonymous]

I currently feel that way for a guy... what holds me back is I'm not 100% happy with myself, how I look, my living/working situation, etc. Also I see from online he is talking to other girls, so I don't know if he is serious about any of them or not... that wouldn't completely hold me back but it is a factor..

[Asker]

I feel like he talks to more girls compared to the number of guys I talk to. Which is why I refrain from his Facebook, girls are always on his pictures calling him a cutie or telling him " I miss you" every time I see it drives me crazy.

"Stay off Facebook, it is the root of all jealously" It'll make you a much happier person

[martyfellow]

He may just be SOP sociallyu awkward that he doesn't know how to approach you. I was a little like this as a teen. I assume you aren't really 18...

Or, he might fear rejection, if you are getting at lot of attention from guys, have been in a relationship, or might be in a relationship..!

[Asker]

I think it's the fear of rejection but I'm not sure how to help him with that

Surprisingly enough despite all the immaturity we're both in college 19 going to be 20 soon.

Socially Awkward - definitely not, he's popular "girls adore him"

but I'm 100% sure he's never had a girlfriend or been close to a girl like he was with me

Not for any reason you would ever think but I'm refraining from saying why because things will get bias

[martyfellow]

He must be a little socially awkward--sorry for the bad typing---if he hasn't been close to a girl by 19. all the same, right?

His being scared of rejection tends to show the same thing, even if girls like him..most of us bu 19 aren't so bothered by rejection, either.

And someone must have rejected him rudely in the past for him to HAVE this fear!

[Asker]

I think his not being close to a girl has to do more with his religion than actually being socially awkward but I;m sick of talking about that religion, so lets just assume I'm wrong and he really is just socially awkward and afraid of rejection

How can I help him?

[martyfellow]

Religioous=socially awkward outside of that religion, quite often!

I'd explain to him how creepy his behavior has been; some girls would have called the cops on him, these days. I'd really lecture him, it would be for his own good.

Tell him you were and are angry, but a lot of girls would have been more like frightened out of their witrs.

[martyfellow]

Thx for the BA!

[Asker]

No Prob :), You made a good point about religion and social awkwardness, I totally see it now that I've observed some of his closest religious friends..1 "Definitely Awkward"

[martyfellow]

thanks for the MH..who are u?

[Asker]

Haha ummh what do you mean by "who are you?" Like
my real name
my username
are you looking for someone lol

[martyfellow]

Well message me!

[Asker]

I keep getting an error..! Even after I followed you.
Did you just ask me to message you to get a new follower.
If so nice trick ^_^

[martyfellow]

don't know why your message didn't work! Maybe some bug on the new Gag?

[Asker]

Username: maryjne

[martyfellow]

thanks maryjne! I'll try to find you!

[Asker]

It's easy just view someone's profile and change the end of the URL where their name is to mine..!

[martyfellow]

You're on the follow list now!

[HYPNOSEX]

Look some guys may have been rebuked and hurt in the past relation ships, so say fukk all, he might be nervous afraid of someone laughing at him, he may need some straight talk from you, so why don't you say what you need to say to him. let it go. softly of course.

[Thatguy321]

I have friends who are girls that i havnt talk to in months that i miss but i wouldn't text them because i mean, ladies how many of you would assume a guy trying to pick you up if one day out of the blue he text you? Youd think he wants to hook up or something

[Bob5555]

I was gonna say maybe he's not doing it because he doesn't want to seem clingy. Then I read the rest of your post and decided that definitely isn't the issue :P

[Deviouscourage]

It depends if it's worth telling her. So far I never had a reason to confess

[Asker]

What would make it worth telling her?

&

How are you able to live with such a secret doesn't it bother you?

[Deviouscourage]

I think all that "let it out of your chest" nonsense is for weak people. I am a pragmatist.

And it would only be worth telling her if she tries to make an effort to create a bonding relationship between us.

[Asker]

I'm going to make some assumptions here I could be wrong:

You guys met and had some type of connection but your friendship is more of a 'hi and bye or see you around type of thing' and in order for you to confess she has to come to you and make efforts for a bond?

[Deviouscourage]

Close enough