Best not to confess your feelings for a girl?

Question

Sometimes being honest and open to a girl about your feelings towards her can send her running for the hills. So is it always more endearing to a girl not to tell her how you are truly feeling for her. It seems that way like she stays more interested if your feelings for her go left unsaid and she always just wonders based on your behavior and flirting-but not actually words about your feelings. It seems to put guys at a disadvantage in getting the girl.

DonMichelle · Accepted Answer

I suppose you could say that but both male and females are driven off by 'openess' for different reasons based on thier 'natural attractions' (something we can't help... we're human!)

Males - Like a challenge, enjoy/are attracted to 'the chase'. We like to work for our goal (the girl). When you think about it this natural feeling could POSSIBLY tie in with how nature intended for men and women to live. The man has to work for his target, she's his 'prize' and she isn't going to come easy, that's what makes her special, you'll appreciate it so much more if you'd had to work to get her. Once you have succeeded you then have to care for her, look after her, you're still on the 'back foot' in the relationship just as you were on the back foot whilst chasing her?!?! Men are driven away by women who are offering/expressing thier love (being open) because they're no longer a challenge, he knows she wants wants him, she's not a prize in his eyes

Females - Like men to be men, confident, strong characters, in control of thier lives. this could POSSIBLY have something to do with the fact that nature intended (it's always been men who worked, fed, clothed and looked after thier families until recent times... and I'm NOT saying I agree with it, women are capable of looking after thier men and families in this modern day) for men to be 'leader of the family', the person who takes charge, he decides what's best for his family. A man being 'open' could be seen as weakness, he's offering himself, he's not in control, he isn't showing confidence, he's at the woman's mercy. This isn't the strong, in control man the woman is naturally attracted to.

Makes sense wouldn't you agree?

Yeahhbro · Accepted Answer

Yes until you have get to know her and she has get to know you. Its not about this pseudo-scientific and stupid theories that the guys are the "chasers" and the women are the "victims" or what not. All of that just comes from gender roles established by society it has nothing to do with science. The reason why girls stop liking you is because they do not have the same feelings for you, it might mean because she doesn't like you, but the truth is that she doesn't know you enough for her to like you and women do not like men as fast as men do, because we tend to like girls more because of their physical factors or other sort of "superficial" factors than internal, this has to do with the fact that we have to approach first and there is no way to judge somebody intrinsicly than to judge her superficially, its not our fault really. While women are more inclined to like guys becase of intrinsic factors and showing this intrinsic factors take time.

Its all about building rapture nothing else and building rapture needs time.

PinkitGirl · Accepted Answer

no, there's a difference. Telling a girl you like her dose not put you at a disadvantage, if you're clingy and needy, that puts you in a disadvantage!  I hate your (males) indirect messages, I hate game playing. Do you like me or don't  you? Just tell me so I can get over you! Flirting is fun when you've just begun talking but after a while it's like... how many girls are you doing this with? I don't know, I guess that's just my opinion! Good Luck :)

flirtfly17 · Accepted Answer

Wait till you're alone and when she is letting you know that she is interested. Don't get gushy and don't stalk her. If you do it right she will open up more to YOU... from there on it just feel s right. Good luck xd

b61983 · Accepted Answer

best to tell her after you been together a long time...

billy_young · Answer

If she's flirting back then be honest with her and tell her how you feel, or maybe ask her on a date or something, rather than just blurting out that you love her in the middle of class or when drunk or something awful like that.

If you don't tell her, don't expect things to go anywhere!

However, if she's not flirting back or if you're not sure, either don't mention it, just keep flirting maybe even more, and see if she responds or not. Or, do some digging. Get your friends to ask her friends if she likes you or something. It's not the most reliable info, but it might be useful.

If she doesn't like you that way, don't mention it, just move on.

If she is flirting back, beware though, that doesn't necessarily mean she likes you (confusing, I know!) so make sure you do something fairly casual like ask on a date or to a party with you or something, not something drastic like asking her to marry you or saying you think about her 24/7. Also, definitely do it in person, not over the phone or internet or whatever... not attractive!

Also, beware, there is always a risk with telling a girl you have feelings for her. I lost a good friend who we flirted loads and talked loads and stuff, until I asked her out, then everything just became awkward and she didn't talk to be at all and things. But like I said, you've got to take the risk to have any chance of being more than just friends.

Good luck!

snowboarder720 · Answer

YEP. you totally got it. Honestly every time I open up to a girl, she loses SO much interest. You basically gave up everything by telling her how much you like her, then she'll understand that she already won you over and then, lose interest in you. I know its bullsh*t.

Things are better left unsaid. I think its better if you just imply it, by texting them most mornings saying "good morning beautiful" and other mushy stuff. That way your letting her know how you feel, but you aren't exactly telling her everything

Yeahhbro · Answer

PS: People that mention all that pseudo-scientific stuff about "The Chase" and what not are people that clearly like to play games. And I take their advice with a grain of salt, because relationships are not all about games. Or else how do you think people with marriages that have last for more than 20 years do? Do they play games on each other? I don't think so. Its called love companionship and it has nothing to do with "games" or keep him or her "guessing", its all about like I mentioned rapture and helping and building a relationship with clear goals for the future.

Anonymous · Answer

start with flirting,  and if accepted  then  confess  there is nothing better for a girl than hearing from a guy that she was flirting with him too about his feelings towards her ...

mcdona32 · Answer

your really wrong put yourself out there I hate that guys don't show they care it makes me feel insecure and feel like I'm the only one with feelings

Chocobo93 · Answer

Honesty's the best policy.

Best not to confess your feelings for a girl?

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