Don't Let One Night Ruin Your Life

[Anonymous]

I'm in my 30s, and I have never had an alcoholic beverage nor have I ever done any form of illegal drugs. When people hear that oftentimes it's met with disbelief, or they feel like I've not lived life, or what have you, but these two things have never held me back from doing what I've wanted in my life, nor have they changed my life in such a way that I felt like it was ruined. Sadly, the same cannot be said for a lot of people in the reverse.

I don't think, at least in the case of alcohol, the only way through life is not drinking anything at all, because there are plenty of people who can have one or two drinks, and who have designated drivers, and don't drink to access, and do just fine, but there are also that other set that unfortunately drink or do drugs to the point where they don't know who they are, what they're doing, and often times in those states, one night of so called "harmless fun," can have extreme consequences.

I have a dear friend of mine who has wanted to be a police officer his entire life since he was a little kid. He went to school and studied law enforcement, and has applied now to three departments, but each time, despite high scores, and praise, he has been passed over. When he was in his early 20s, he and some buddies of his were out drinking on a curb near their house, and he got really drunk and as a car passed by, he threw a glass shattering the drivers windshield.

The driver was okay, but they called the police and as a result, he has this black mark on his record. A record that now is being used as a means to reject him from his lifelong dream because to a police department, if you are entrusting someone with the law, here it is, someone who has already broken the law, and was drunk while doing it. That doesn't exactly say to them, "this is someone whom we can trust with a gun or to remain sober whilst doing it."

Now I know him, and I know he is a good man, a great family man, and a great friend, but this one drunk night has altered his life and he may have to change his dream job because of it if he's rejected yet again. Also don't be fooled into thinking that people will just automatically give you a second chance just because you've had a good record previously. Once you land in the system, often people just see that you've been in trouble, and don't even look beyond that on things like job applications, because it's hard to know who's really a liability and who just made that one mistake that one night.

I think a lot of people just think it's funny when someone gets drunk or high and does stupid things like that, but rarely do people think of the consequences and the affects they can have. If you are a woman in particular, there are sadly some unscrupulous guys who would try to take advantage of you being unconscious. You may not even remember what happened to you or whose bed you're in when you wake up, and that is a frightening feeling that you just never want to have. Nowadays, everyone has a camera, and images of your naked body or you in a sex act even without you being aware can end up on the internet. I know with my last employer, they monitored social media, and pictures coming up on it, and especially becoming public, did lead to people getting fired even when what they were doing was not on company time.

Often, employers have a clause in your work contract that specifies that anything that you're doing whether in or out of work that could essentially make the company look bad or call into question your ability to handle the job, is grounds for firing you. Social media has taken down quite a few people, and if you are the person who is drunk or high, often times, you have no memory of not only what you were doing, but of people taking video or posting pictures of you. Once those things are up, they get spread around, your boss, your family, your friends, everyone sees them, even the police in many cases, and that's it for you.

I say all this because, while you're hopefully sober and have your head on straight enough to read this, I hope you really consider avoiding setting your life goals to get really wasted or really high in order to have a good time because one night can really F up your life. It's the same sad story where people say these things to you, and you think, well drunk driving accidents happen to other people, or no one ever did anything bad while on this or that drug, or no one is going to rape me at that party because those people are my friends, but that simply isn't the case and bad stuff does happen. People get arrested, go to jail, lose their jobs, lose friends, and in the worst case scenarios, kill someone or themselves, harm themselves, or harm others. Those are nights you don't want to have to wake up to. You don't want to put yourself in a position where you lose everything for four or five hours.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

I have to agree with this, especially in this day and age. I did drink and try weed when I was younger, but thankfully none of the stupid things I did was life ruining. It's not just drinking and driving and all that. People have cell phones and record everything. So if you're being really drunk and stupid, it could end up on youtube and then go viral.

I think Anjali Ramkissoon is a good example of that. She was drunk and she was so horrible and nasty to an uber driver. The video went up on Youtube and went viral. She was a med student but she got fired and she had death threats.

There are plenty of people who get all maggoty when they get drunk, including a few friends of mine. If cell phones with camera's had been as popular when I was in my early 20's, they likely would have ended up on Youtube.

[myTake Owner]

Yup, that's the thing you really have to caution people with, especially if you have really high ambitions in life, because in such competitive fields, they are looking at all aspects of your life, and one newspaper article, youtube video, picture going viral, can hammer your career and your life just like that. Everyone is filming everything now, and posting without permission, so it's a huge risk you take going to parties and stuff if your intention is to just drink and drink and do a bunch of drugs.

[Fathoms77]

I don't drink and I've never done drugs, either. I simply never saw the appeal of either and I prefer to be in full control of all my faculties. ;) I also loathe the taste of alcohol in general.

And I've often heard phrases like, "oh, that must mean you don't like fun," which just depresses me. If society has reached a point where THIS is the reaction, if people really believe there can't be a "fun" social gathering without drugs/alcohol, we're A. a whole lot dumber and more self-destructive than anyone thinks, and B. the downward spiral is in full effect.

[myTake Owner]

It is sad sometimes to hear that. I mean, if you think about all those years you were a kid and weren't really allowed to drink, it's like are these people implying that all those years weren't fun or meaningful either because there was no beer in hand? How does turning 21 (even though most who do drink, probably started before that age), change everything so dramatically? And how is it fun at all if you can't even remember the fun you supposedly had? I'm like you. I like to show up and have fun and be in control and be able to remember every second of it, and not feel like I have to drink something in order to have a good time.

[redeyemindtricks]

You and yr "downward spiral" 🙄

Dude, alcohol has always played a central role in human socializing -- but if anything, that role is (slowly but inexorably) decreasing, not increasing.

I mean, just open up Chaucer's Canterbury Tales -- written in the 14th century -- and in the prologue, (yep just the prologue) no fewer than 8 of the storytellers remark on how alcohol is NECESSARY to "bathe the veins with power" and "fortify" the storytellers for their storytelling.

Moreover, WATER back then -- and for hundreds of years still thereafter -- was often unsafe, and even potentially deadly, to drink (look up the story of John Snow, cholera, and the surviving brewers -- who survived because they drank literally nothing but beer, and NO water AT ALL). So it was expected, and not infrequently even a matter of life and death, that people would drink the much safer, distilled alcoholic beverages.

Do you think old-timers had a bunch of teetotaling "fun" parties with Shirley Temples and juice?

[Fathoms77]

@redeyemindtricks I've read Canterbury Tales. And you may not have noticed, but the majority of the characters in those stories were all basically peasants (i. e., uneducated, lower-tier individuals). The uneducated in literature and in reality have often defended the existence of alcohol with the same sorts of words and phrases. Of course, the educated in all eras drank as well, but how it was viewed across social strata was very different. Unsurprisingly, those who needed something to dull the pain of life defended it and even wrote songs about it, while those who didn't need to dull anything had, very often, the opposite perspective.

Yes, I'm well aware of the role alcohol has played in humanity through the ages, and I don't condemn its existence. I'm saying it simply isn't necessary for life, and it isn't. Drugs aren't, either.

[Fathoms77]

I'm also saying that if someone believes you NEED one or the other to "have fun," or make the assumption that you're not "fun" because you don't partake, that's sad. It's especially sad when such a large percentage of people - and young, supposedly educated people - actually say things like this. Furthermore, throughout history, dating back to the Romans, there is plenty of evidence to support the notion that increased alcohol and drug use is indicative of a failing society; a less disciplined, more dysfunctional society that cares less about progress and achievement and more about mindless entertainment and avoidance/aversion. It also shows an inability to balance and find any happy medium, as cases of drug and alcohol addiction are through the roof. The similarities between ourselves and Rome just before their implosion are striking and unsettling, that's for damn sure.

[redeyemindtricks]

Eh. I'm nominally on your side of this one -- I'm a teetotaling square myself -- but, nah.

In the Tales, both the peasant characters and the upper-class characters are pretty much wine-soaked souses. The only exception is the Knight, but, that's basically the point -- the Knight is supposed to be a caricature of "propriety" in pretty much all its forms. (The Squire is the Knight's kid, but, honestly, if Chaucer could have found a way to make the Knight a virgin while still having a kid, I'm sure he would have done it.)

I don't love this fact either, but, alcohol is so embedded in human culture that there's really no separating the two. In the UPPER classes in particular -- especially when it comes to courting, dating, and mating -- the role of alcohol for *most* people has been especially important. (Imagine ANYONE in the upper class in Victorian times, or even in the Gilded age, trying to get together and fuck without being pretty much wasted... Ahahahahaha.)

[Fathoms77]

@redeyemindtricks Yeah, well, a lot of that is myth. Various popular stories passed down through history inspired the conception that the privileged classes in Victorian times were constantly drunk, when in fact, that wasn't really the case. It also depends on which country we're talking about.

One other note: In the past, especially among the upper/educated classes, higher education was a serious thing. When people went off to college, it was actually an institution of higher learning and they were expected to excel. They were certainly not encouraged to act like complete imbecilic buffoons; we're dumb enough to actually tell our youth that if you don't get wasted at least a few times in college, you "didn't do it right." As if it's an essential part of the "experience." That's how screwed up we are right now... spring break, sports, sex, and alcohol as cornerstones of higher education. Brilliant. :P

[redeyemindtricks]

Oh, yeah, now, on THAT -- the dumbing down (and bloating of "administrative" costs) of "higher" education -- I'm sure you and I would agree exactly, on just about everything.

[FashionQueen86]

I was reading a YouTube comment the other day where this guy regrets not stepping in when he was younger. But he was at a party and he was wondering why guys were going up and the down the stairs. He finally went to check it out. There was a girl on the bed unconscious with tons of guys surrounding her. He said he could never get that image out of his head. Surely, they've did so many things to her.

One other problem is that what if you get pregnant and you have no idea who the father is? And it's so, so sad that this keeps happening as if people, especially girls are not properly taking precautions for themselves becuase guys do go to places like this hoping to take advantage of a girl.

There's also another incident. The hospital where I work had a really awesome down-to-earth CEO. However, one night, he was at a party, and he and his girlfriend got super drunk, had a fight, the police came and arrested both of them. His mugshot was everywhere, his superiors made things harder for him and was eventually replaced. Luckily, he's the CEO someplace else, but his former employees are angry at him becuase now, we have a new CEO that is a total jerk. Anytime he shows up, it's like people are scared and they freeze. People that have worked at this hospital for years are resigning becuase of him, and it's at an alarming rate. He changes way too many things, spends money on unnecessary stuff, but won't invest in things they need. If you resign, but also want to finish like the last week of work, he'll just tell you to leave and will humiliate you by getting a security guard to escort you out. He's really made hell, and all for what? Because the former CEO decided to booze up and make a mistake.

If you can't handle the alcohol, don't be around it. Why would anybody allow themselves to be unaware of the things they do, say, and the things people do around them, and even to them? Why would at any point in your life, would you want to lose your power like that?

I Never understood it.

[Caramel_creme]

In that first situation you described, I find it disturbing that you are placing the blame on the girl for drinking, and alcohol itself, when it is those men that is at fault. Doesn't matter if the girl was unconscious, they shouldn't have touched her.

[FashionQueen86]

@Caramel_creme Where in my statement did I blame the victim? I KNEW somebody was going to bring this up. Encouraging girls and women to be careful and even take some responsibility does NOT mean I'm blaming them. If you allow yourself to get totally drunk, understand that anything can happen to you. It's like leaving the doors and windows unlocked and not expecting anything bad to happen. Getting raped or taken advantage of is never the victim's fault. There will ALWAYS be guys out there that are ready and looking to do some pretty bad things to women, BUT there are many things a girl can do to help lower her chances of that.

[Anonymous]

Lawmakers, along with their prostitutes in the media (i. e. the gatekeepers and agenda setters) are pursuing a multi-pronged approach to make straight sex taboo. There are several ways social engineers are attempting to make heterosexual activity a legal and cultural albatross for men Anglo America and Europe. These are only a few of the ways this agenda is being pursued.
Constructing a “Human Trafficking” facade which is based on mostly spurious claims of women being forced into prostitution, then passing endless laws to combat this phantom enemy (sound familiar to terrorism?)
Passing endless rape laws pushing men farther into a corner with regards to normal heterosexual activity, i. e. the “Josie was drunk” ad campaign and affirmative consent laws
Promoting homosexuality as sacrosanct while prohibition and public shaming still extend to the world’s oldest profession, prostitution; Johns also have their lives and careers ruined around the U. S. by a voyeuristic police force and media
Promoting the view that sexuality is “dirty” and something to be embarrassed about among the Plebeian classes, as something reserved for the elite and well-heeled men
Promoting plague terror for over 30 years, especially a “cooties” campaign for adults as the HIV epidemic (contrary to what we were told in the 1980s and 1990s) remains confined to risk groups and the CDC’s own statistics say heterosexuals could have sex for more than a lifetime and never contract the virus (a nearly 1 in 10,000 chance of spreading the virus through vaginal intercourse)
Passing insane laws which are now making flirting illegal in the UK
Shaming men who have normal heterosexual urges and pushing HR policies which make both sexes behave androgynously
Promoting confusion of male and female genders with the transgender bathroom agenda being pushed by the U. S. government, extending into public schools and down to small children (get them while they’re young)
These are only a few of the ways sex is being made confusing and taboo among heterosexuals in America and Europe. But, there are calls among Neo-Puritans for the state to do even more to “protect” (i. e. pedestalize) women against us “evil” penis-wielding men.

[AbleLearner]

I've had about half of one beer in my life. Trust me, you haven't missed anything. It's disgusting.

I've never smoked nor done any illegal drugs, nor do I do anything "legal" either.

I find it disgusting that people who get WIC or earned income credit simultaneously have a one or two pack-per-day smoking habit and/or regular drinkers.

When the government actually takes a moral stand and bans harmful substances, most people don't do it. Crime statistics show a few percent of people still do it anyway.

When it's "legal" around 40% of people are completely and hopelessly addicted to it, because the government itself enables the addiction by keeping it "legal" and just "sin taxing" it.

The number of people killed or maimed each year in the U. S. by drunk drivers is higher than the number of murders, and the U. S. has an above average murder rate. They don't count the million abortions per year as "murder" though.

I'm in favor of a full ban on both tobacco and alcohol products. If people riot and what-not, just whip out the tear gas and rubber bullets.

The economic damage done by the violence, carnage, and disease produced by these substances is dibilitating.

Let's not hear the "drink responsibly" thing, because none of those 40% addicts drinks responsibly.

I won't win any popularity contests, but 30,000 drunk driving related deaths per year is a holocaust, as is the abortion issue.

True story:
American women have killed more people in the past 50 years than NAZI Germany did in All of World War 2 combined. They passed them about 6 or 7 years ago.

Alcohol drinkers and cigarette manufactures are in second and third place for homicides in the U. S.

[AbleLearner]

"Murderers" and "Terrorists" struggle to keep pace with the homicides done by alcoholics.

Think about September 11, 2001.

The Terrorists actually killed a small fraction of as many people as alcoholics did that year.

"Welcome to your annual Super Bowl, sponsored by your favorite homicide in a bottle."

Yeah. Beer commercials used to have two hot, perfect ten women in bikinis come running up to the guy with the chest of beer and hug him and take either hand. Sex sells apparently.

That is how they marketed homicide in a bottle to multiple generations of people.

Your brain cells.
Your liver cells.
Those "accidental" deaths from the drunk drivers.
Child/spouse abuse related to/enhanced by alcohol.

It's all "Part of the plan".
The capitalists who invest in the Beer companies don't care about the morality or ethics. "Drink responsibly" is just a marketing slogan. Nobody drinks responsibly.

[AbleLearner]

alcohol has killed more people than Al Quaeda and Isis combined, in just one or two years.

Cigarettes have easily killed more people than alcohol.

Abortionists kill over a million people per year in the U. S. alone.

Merry fuck-buddy go round.

It's all part of the plan.

One fourth of adults in Louisiana have one or more STDs, and this is an allegedly "Conservative Christian" state.

Looks like EVERYBODY gives a fuck! but nobody gives a damn!

I won't even be fingering a girl without a blood test. Never know what's been in there. Good God it creeps me out.

That's as good a reason to stay away from alcohol as any other.

[Anonymous]

Good point and I respect your sobriety. My best friend in college quit drinking for good after he got his second DUI at 24 (going on 10 years sober). I myself occasionally partake in booze but I have never had a problem. I just hate feeling hungover and watching my hard earned athletic physique suffer from excessive alcohol.

However I have to say this. Many sober people I've met come off as angry. I remember the straight edge subculture growing up (back in ancient history of the 90s). They were much more likely to angry/aggressive then the average HS/college kid who sometimes imbibed. I also know orthodox Christians who don't drink either (drunkenness is forbidden in scripture... but having 1 or 2 drinks is fine). However several of them happen to be overweight. Why? Food is the only pleasure they can indulge themselves in.

Also look at fundamental islam. Muslim countries have very strict laws on alcohol/drugs... but do they seem any happier?

Anyway I believe everything in moderation. Unfortunately that's just not possible for some people. If it was we would have so fewer car accidents, homeless people, domestic violence, early deaths, etc.

[sjoes006]

"I'm in my 30s, and I have never had an alcoholic beverage nor have I ever done any form of illegal drugs. When people hear that oftentimes it's met with disbelief"

Maybe not disbelief but it makes you unrelatible and slightly inaccessible.

I drive drunks around sometimes on Uber at increased rates and only from certain points where I know I won't have problem riders. I drive a luxury vehicle but will pick up base fare riders on Lyft if they are going my way. I don't pick them up for the money but because it is fun and they are being responsible AND because I'm often the one being picked up because I've had two drinks.

Abstaining from Sex and Beer shouldn't be preached to the masses. Calm yourself go find a topless beach and live a little.

[myTake Owner]

This is such an ignorant comment.

[vonasaurus]

while i do have the odd drink, i know what my limits are and stay well within them. i've never blacked out, done anything ridiculous/illegal, or driven drunk, and i don't associate with anyone who has.

as is quite common in italian families, i was introduced to alcohol at a young age and thus never saw the need to abuse it.

i think that part of the problem (at least in north america) is that, as with any age-restricted product, drinking is "taboo" (here in Canada, drinking age is 18 or 19, depending on which province you live in). reverse psychology, people~ instead of teaching your kids that something is off-limits (which will only make them want to do it more), you should teach them to respect it and cultivate a healthy relationship with it.

or you could scare the shit out of them, which works just as well (my parents told me that drugs would "scramble your brains", which put a horrible image in my head... still haven't touched that shit, never will.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I've never understood the appeal of drugs and excessive alcohol either. I'm turning 21 this month and while my friends are talking about me "getting wasted", I'm planning to have one small drink to celebrate and being done with it. I don't understand what people find to be so great about getting blackout drunk and then being hungover all day the next day. I also don't want to make any stupid decisions or be completely helpless and have to be babysat for the night. I've never understood what is so cool about having a drug or alcohol problem, although it seems to be romanticized and thought of as "cool". I actually had some friends drop me because I didn't want to get into drugs with them. While I am heading in the right direction and building my career, no one will hire them and they are struggling to find their way in life. I have absolutely no regrets.

[SovereignessofVamps]

I think your pov is very cool.

I like trying things but I think more people should get buzzed instead of wasted. And instead of getting high, you could just smoke herbs or something harmless.

[Anonymous]

Yeah say that to Brock Turner... please one night WILL define you because no matter how much you want to paint a rosy picture you are still responsible for your actions and they have a way of following you around the majority of your life.

[Anonymous]

Most people have the sense not to do anything too stupid even when drunk. But still it's best never to get that drunk, even if you don't do something bad you might say something you regret. Plus there's the hangover. So everything in moderation.
Apart from alcohol though I don't know any other drug that could make you do something like that. Weed doesn't do that, actually it does the opposite, it makes you feel calm and lazy so it makes it less likely to do something bad. On ecstasy you can still think straight, just you feel great and full of love. I think people on heroin hardly even move, they just lie there in euphoria. Maybe cocaine though can make you do stuff like that, I'm not sure what it does exactly, but I think it makes you feel confident and aggressive like alcohol

[myTake Owner]

See: Meth

[Opinion Owner]

Ah yeah meth's a bad one

[Blonde401]

I don't drink or do drugs often. The worst thing I've ever done drunk is throw up in the back of a cab. Not everyone does something inexplicably stupid while drunk/high. Some do, others know their limits and don't use being under the influence as an excuse to do dumb shit.

[Kuraj]

Alcohol is for toasts and to enjoy the taste of once in a while on an evening with maybe some hot tea.
Drinking to get drunk or to have "fun" is for losers, I don't care what some kids think is the definition of "fun" or "having a life", those are junkies and junkies are not the kind of people whose opinions I really care about.

[Scrambledagain]

I nearly trashed my life through drinking and driving. Its so common in South Africa. Luckily my "nice guy" personality saved my arse when the cop arrested me. She dropped the charge from "drinking and driving" to "drunkiness". Still spent the night in jail. Worst night ever!

[SuperNovaRoyalty]

Eh, South Africa, am I right? Not the best place to be right now.

[Saoirse_Nua]

Very good point especially in this day and age - Employers have been known to check your social media - I would stretch your point and say be careful about any public action (sober or under the influence).

[tyber1]

Non drinker who hasn't done drugs. I agree with you completely, I wish people would stop this nonsense. Alcohol is a curse, people would be wise to avoid it.

[Raymond_Reddington]

Alcohol is only ever a curse if you can't drink responsibly.

[tyber1]

@Raymond_Reddington I doubt anyone who starts drinking thinks it will ruin their lives. Regardless, ethanol is a weak poison which is why you become intoxicated by it. It's stupid to ingest it.

[Raymond_Reddington]

Lots of things I do are stupid. This might as well be one of them

[front2back]

This tends to only happen here in the US because for some reason we think drinking in public and drinking to get piss drunk is "fun"

[anonman32]

its good that i am the social happy kind of drunk lol. but i have stopped drinking alcohol now, i drink it only on special occasions now.

[Anonymous]

m.facebook.com/story.php

[realityphil]

didn't read, but is it about OP regretting alcohol-related casual sex?

[HellRider]

I been in jail before just for unpaid traffic tickets. Never for alcohol or other drugs