My Search For A Talent, A Passion, And A Future.

[ConfusedPsychotic]

Ever since I could remember, I've been searching for a talent, a passion, something that I want to do for a living, but I could never seem to find that spark no matter how hard I've tried. And while I'm still searching for that special talent, here is what I've come up with.

At first when I was little I wanted to be a chef, I cooked egg sandwiches and other stuff for my family, but I quickly got over that and it just does not appeal to me.

Then I wanted to be a Major League Baseball player, I obviously can't do that because they don't allow girls (and I'm not exactly the best player either, I mean it's hard enough for guys, let alone a girl who is about average.).

Then I wanted to be a singer songwriter but let's face it, I can't sing for crap and the songs I write are mediocre at best. (My voice is complicated, it's very nasal and flat, it's high but also deep too and just unpleasant in my opinion, my sister and best friend say I sing good but I believe they are just sparing my feelings.)

After that I decided I wanted to do something with animals, maybe a vet, an animal rescuer, or an animal rehabilitator. I mean why not? I've always been amazing with animals, I've been called "The Animal Whisperer" many times by many people. I could train the untrainable, catch the uncatchable. Feral strays would walk up to me and boom I could tame them, it was crazy. But I can't be a vet, I would never be able to put animals down, not only that but I couldn't afford vet school, and my academic level.. Well I'm not even going to get into that. And as for animal rescuer/rehabilitator, well I could see that, but everything would be out of my pocket, I couldn't make a living off of that. So I stepped off of this idea.

Then I had the idea of being a therapist, because I've been known to people to give good advice and be very comforting and reassuring. But that idea was short-lived. I am super sensitive and just too unstable to support my own emotions, let alone the emotions of other people like me.

"Well what about an artist?" I thought. My drawing skills are terrible, I just don't have the natural talent to draw, it's not for me. While I could take lessons or something, I just don't feel like this is for me. Plus I don't already possess the natural talent to draw anyways, so why bother?

Maybe being an actress was for me?

I've had many people say I should be in drama. I just have the personality for it, and I like it, so why not? I was in a play for my church with my best friend. it was a Christmas play. I joined late so there weren't any parts left, they said they would write us some, but a few rehearsals past and they hadn't, so I suggested that I write it, and I did. We were donkeys/news reporters (and don't ask how that fit into a Christmas play, I made it work). Everyone LOVED it, we were complimented on how well we did and a few people even said we stole the show. And right now I am rehearsing for an oncoming play for "Alice in Wonderland" as "the Queen of Hearts". And soon I'm going to be auditioning for a role in my church's VBS drama (it's huge, we have around 5,000 kids go to the VBS). Now while I haven't completely scratched off this idea, and am currently pursuing it, I am not so sure how I may do this as a professional. I don't have the prettiest speaking voice either, not that it matters that much, but still it has some effect.

Im also currently interested in some kind of writing, as I like to read/write. I write poems, short stories, books (I had a few W.I.Ps), Songs (as I've mentioned before), and some other stuff.

Im still not completely sure what I want to do for a living, but I will deal with that when it comes. For now, I will just do what I like, and live my life.

Thank you for reading!

[Soremain]

This was really good and not a coincidence I stumbled across this now. I just finished really good practice session with guitar and I now start to fully realize it's what I wanna do. My philosophy was always that you have to do what you are passionate about or life is not worth living. If you don't, you will just feel lack in your life and only good moments will be those little pleasures, often very unhealthy too.

You will for sure find out what it is and succeed in it because you are already passionate about finding out.
I wanna also give some tips:
- Don't worry so much if you are not naturally good at it. Most people are not naturally talented.
- Don't think about the obstacles. Only think in a way "if everything was possible"
- Try to think what it is that you like about what you like. For example my interest in music is not so much about the music. I like music because it makes me feel good. if it's played with a great passion, I can feel that passion. Music is tool to create emotions, feelings and atmospheres. And guitar is by far my favorite instrument because you can really "speak with your own voice" with it, when if you play piano for example, you cannot really tell the difference between two good players.
- When I was at concerts and festival I always kinda felt this sadness because I wanted to be on the stage. And sadness because I didn't believe I could do it. And I always daydream playing in the festivals and having interviews :D So pay attention to your daydreams.

And the most important thing that just hit me is that you are actually doing it right now. It doesn't have to be just one thing or one skill. It can be many things. The fact that you wrote this was you being on a right track, don't think that there has to be this end goal to find something you do for the rest of your life. Every moment do what you think is the most interesting and empowering thing you can do and I see this was it.

Also if you are interested there is this book called "Mastery" by Robert Greene and it's about this subject. I haven't read it very far myself but I might if I feel like it. Seems really good so far and interesting.

[ConfusedPsychotic]

Awesome. Thank you. Yes that's what I'm doing, I'm trying to find something that I love to do and am good at to do for a living. I want to be happy. I don't want some crummy job at a fast food restraunt, I want to be living life and pursuing dreams, but I have to find out what those dreams are still.

Yeah I love music as well. It makes me super happy and I always have a song stuck in my head! Like right now I have "into you" (I think that's the name) by paramore (don't judge me or my music tastes, but I like pretty much every kind of music because like you said you can feel the emotions. Oh except Justin bieber.. I hate his guts). My life is basically a musical with all this music all the time 😂 It's so cool that you love music! I have a guitar but I still haven't learned to play it..

If I could, I would be all of these things. But sadly I don't think I can.

Thank you so much for your opinion! 😊

[Soremain]

Nothing wrong with your music taste :D Any music that is played with passion is good music. And I understand your Justin Bieber hate. I think mainstream pop-music is more about looking good and collecting as much money as possible and not about love for music.

I've had guitar for 12 years and I still haven't learned to play either :D Well of course my definition is little different. I never really had the patience to learn the basics and I just jumped to the fastest and hardest songs and developed a sloppy technique and now I'm in process to fix that and learning the basic theory and I enjoy it. It's usually the most important things we resist and fear the most. I tried to go to music schools but I always quit or didn't go at all because "I'm not naturally good, I've no one in my family that plays music" and all kinds of excuses why I shouldn't do it and it always made me depressed.

[Soremain]

It's funny I just had a dream last night where I got this good idea to start online guitar teaching business with my own system. I always had this vision that I wanna make my own way to learn music theory and then teach it to others. But first I have to master it first myself.

You should definitely pick it up and start learning! It may seem intimidating at first but guitar is not hard to learn to get started. And there are millions of lessons on the internet that makes it so easy. Just learn a few chords and start strumming those and explore. Even if it's not the thing you are supposed to become master at, it's still fun and useful skill if you wanna do anything with music.

[ConfusedPsychotic]

Yeah I have tried learning online with videos, as it's the only thing I have available to teach me. But I haven't found any good videos, all the ones I've found have poor techniques and just aren't any good. I will try to find new ones and learn. I have an electric guitar. I had a band but we officially disbanded today because none of us knew how to play any instruments 😂 We also only had two members (including me).. Lol, yeah I didn't think we'd get very far. We had songs that I wrote and we sang them, that's pretty much it. Maybe once I can play I will start a new band with people who can actually play too 😂 Thank you. I wish you luck!

[Soremain]

The start will always be messy. A lot of trial and error. I'd recommend Steve Stein on youtube. I think he's the best guitar teacher I've come across. He explains everything very simply and so it all makes sense. Yea just keep going and pursuing your passion whatever it might be and you'll be successful. Even if it doesn't always work out it's better than to settle something you don't want. Good luck! :)

[ragequeen]

I can totally relate to this take. I`m still on the search of something I`m really good at and which makes me unique. I`ve always dreamed of having that special talent. When people ask me what my special talent is or what I`m particularly good at, I honestly don`t know what to say.

I tried designing when I was younger but I didn`t do it for a long time. Then I followed my love for animals and nature, and luckily I can se a better future with these interests, however, the road there is long and difficult.

I can`t even tell you a small hobby that I`m good at. I like to do many things, but I`m not good at them. I`m still on my way trying to find out who I am :)

[ConfusedPsychotic]

Yes! That is exactly how I feel. I'm not sure what hobbies or anything I'm good at either. I'm sure whatever you end up, you'll be happy. Still trying to find myself too, and maybe one day we will have a better understanding of our selves and know what we want to do. I wish you luck! Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I don't know who took that picture or where it was but they really should've cleaned the place before taking that photo.

Good Take otherwise.

[Soremain]

I didn't even notice, you must not be attracted to guitars very much. I was just staring the beauty of that thing. Those curves. I wish I could just grab it by the neck and plug it in if you know what I mean.. :P

[Opinion Owner]

@Soremain I am attracted to guitars. I'm also attracted to cleanliness. You should learn to be, too.

[Soremain]

Actually when I look at my guitar it's dirty as fuck.. You're right, I should clean it... tomorrow..

[ConfusedPsychotic]

I took the photo, that's my guitar. sorry about the mess but I wasn't planning on taking a photo but I had to, so I just did what I could. What you are seeing is mostly just stains though. In a house with 6 kids and a ton of animals, stains are common.

Thank you for reading, and thanks for your opinion!

[John_Doesnt]

A good mytake.

[ConfusedPsychotic]

Thank you! Your opinion is greatly appreciated.