Education & Career

The Dumbest Professor I've Ever Met

The Dumbest Professor I've Ever Met

It's no a secret that university professors have been the subject of criticism from the Right, mainly for their political views and indoctrination. In case you haven't notice which chances are you haven't, I have been critical of college professors on this site before. I simply pointed out that the majority of college professors seem to have little or no knowledge of subjects outside their field. One of the replies I received was, "Why would they have knowledge of topics they are not being paid to specialize in?" Well, because they are still required to take general-ed courses, so you'd think they'd at least somewhat well rounded. But, recently I met a university professor who was SO dumb, it made me call into question our entire education system. Since that faithful day, I have been asking myself the nagging question, "How did someone so dumb end up with a PhD?"

I'm about to introduce you to the dumbest professor in history.

As much as I'd love to post his name and school, I don't wanna get sued, so let's just him "Professor DumbDumb". What I can tell you about Professor DumbDumb is he is biracial, fluent in Spanish, a spokesperson for the NAACP, has a PhD in Sociology, and teaches Sociology to PhD students at a university in California.

I had the misfortune of being stuck behind Professor DumbDumb on a cramped tour bus for 12 hours. His stupidity was already showing when tried to unrecline the seat in front of him for more leg room, instead of just moving over one seat. This would be the first in a series of embarrassing gaffes, largely in the geography department.

Shortly after the seat incident he was talking with our guide and another passenger and said, "I visited some castle yesterday." Okay, sometimes we forget names of places we've been to, except this "castle" wasn't a castle but Barcelona's famous Sagrada Familia Church. And so it began.

We arrive at our first town. Our guide tells us, "This region we are in is called Catalonia. Other regions in Spain are Andalucía, Galicia, etc.... In Barcelona, there is a Plaza Catalonia. Now, someone tell me, do you think there is a Plaza Catalonia in other cities in Spain? Yes, Professor DumbDumb."

Professor DumbDumb: "YES, because there is a Plaza Catalonia metro station in Barcelona."

Tour Guide: "Aha! But that's in Barcelona. What about in other cities?"

Professor DumbDumb: YES!

Tour Guide: NO! Only in Catalonia is there Plaza Catalonia. In other Spanish regions the plaza is named after THAT region. Why would there be Plaza Catalonia outside of Catalonia?

Professor DumbDumb: OH.

Back on the bus and on to lovely France. We cross the border and suddenly we have a view of the spectacular snow covered Pyrenees. I'll say that again, you can see snow covered mountains through the bus window. Suddenly, Professor DumbDumb says to our guide, "Are we gonna see any snow?"

The tour guide replies, "There is snow right there on the mountains, so YES."

OMG, I wanted to say something SO badly but I didn't want to cause a scene.

Continuing through lovely France. Our dumb professor is having a conversation with an Australian girl sitting next to him.

Professor DumbDumb: "WHAT? You were a cheerleader in middle school? I didn't know cheerleaders could be that young.

Aussie Girl: They can. So tell me about your work history.

Professor DumbDumb: "It's interesting. I taught in Texas for a while. HATED IT! I prefer California. Then one day I got call that I'm being transferred to a school in Delaware. I had to look up where Delaware was. It's such a small state, I didn't know where it was."

WOW! Really dude? You have a PhD and you don't know the geography of your own country?

We're approaching our stop in France. Suddenly, Professor DumbDumb asks, "Excuse me, tour guide. Do they speak Spanish in France?"

Tour Guide: There are some people who might speak it, but the official language in France is French."

Professor DumbDumb: Okay, thank you.

Finally, we were in the lovely French town. I would FINALLY get a break from Professor DumbDumb. After his French remark, I really thought I'd heard it all, but it gets worse.

Back on the bus, and on to Andorra. We've probably been driving for 40 minutes when Professor DumbDumb asks, "Excuse me Mr. Tour Guide, is Andorra part of the European Union?"

Now you're probably thinking, "Oh hey, Professor DumbDumb actually asked a smart question. Yes he did. Only problem is, he asked it about 20 minutes AFTER our guide gave a 10 minute talk explaining why Andorra isn't a member of the European Union. Yeah. Professor DumbDumb must suffer from short term memory loss. Either that, or he has a short attention span. Imagine if one his students did that during his lectures.

That's probably the worst of it, but still not everything. It was time to leave Andorra. Everyone was on the bus except Professor DumbDumb. One lady in the tour cleverly remarked, "He's a professor, he should never be late." Where could he be? With no sign of Professor DumbDumb, our guide went to go look for him. It turned out Professor DumbDumb got lost while shopping, but it didn't take long for our guide to find him.

Heading back to Barcelona. Professor DumbDumb decided to sleep and recline his seat back, completely cramping my leg room, even though at the beginning of the tour he had been complaining about being stuck in the same uncomfortable position. Talk about selfish and inconsiderate.

Our tour bus pulls in Plaza Catalonia, in Catalonia, not Andalusia.

ME: Excuse me Professor DumbDumb, can you put your seat forward so I can get my backpack out?

Professor DumbDumb: Oh yes, of course. I didn't even realize it was that far back. Um, I'm not really sure HOW to?

Are you SERIOUS? Our guide already showed you how. Do it the same way you reclined it back!

After about thirty seconds, Professor DumbDumb figured out how to put his seat forward, and I was finally free of the dumbest professor I'd ever met.

Thanks for reading. If you know any professors like Professor DumbDumb, we'd like to hear about it in the comments section.

The Dumbest Professor I've Ever Met
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