My parents are kicking me out - Deadline to leave home @18

[tallandsweet]

I am sorry to only write someting about this now but I have been incredibly busy with fixing my life. I have one week of school left and need to make sure that I get very good grades - I should be left with an average grade of between 1.1 and 1.3, we will see. 1 is the best grade here and 5 is the worst - I have all ones and two twos (in Mathematics and French, each due to extreme anxiety during tests).

This is all relevant because all of a sudden I am in a situation where I will apply to German and Austrian universities outside of my hometown for my Bachelor's degree already. I am aiming to get into RWTH Aachen, but my chances are very slim because they only take 40 people for their Bachelor in Computer Science each year. If I get in, I'll move there in an instant because it will be easier to get into ETH Zürich afterwards for my Masters/PhD.

What happened

My parents kicked me out of their house. I will be gone by September. They have offered to give me money for basic stuff - rent, food and books - but I will not be able to go on holiday, save money etc. and my standard of living will decrease significantly. I should mention that I always knew that my standard of living would go down when I moved out.

Implications

I currently have the privilege to live in a house with a nice, green garden. I am surrounded by mountains and the air and water quality is amazing. I'd need a water filter in Aachen. I'd be surrounded by Braunkohlewerke as someone who values organic, tasty food and sustainability very much. It's paradox to me but I'd fit in somehow.

How I'm doing

I'm really tired right now because my life changed within a few hours but I also cannot wait to become more independent. I've been trying to keep it together for the entire week but to be honest the situation just is stressful and that's fine.

Nobody wants to be kicked out.

Next steps

I already had a conversation with my therapist about all of this and she believes in me. It'll all be fine but it will definitely be difficult. Especially because I will have to live an incredibly frugal lifestyle, which is somehing I am not accustomed to. I am used to being able to ask my dad to order stuff on Amazon, no matter how expensive they are. That will change dramatically but this is easy to eradicate. I will cut out all luxury of my life, not go on holidays and just try to save money through working small jobs on the side.

I'd love to hear some advice if someone experienced a similar situation!

[Barbarian8]

First I think this is common in Austria and Germany and usually the West, that the children leave their parent's house at age 18. I am sorry it hear that but just think in positive way, you will become way stronger after that and it will just be in the past as years move fast.
I admire your objective for continuing your education in ETH Zürich as it was my dream once in time. So, I hope you end in ETH Zürich or EPF Lausanne since you speak French.
Third, my advice for you. Get an admission at University that gives your choice first, then choose the one you like. Apply as many as you can in Germany, Switzerland and Austria. TU Graz is good choice in Austria.
Fourth, then apply for scholarships , Erasmus mendus scholarship, ... There are many that I have forgotten but I can reckon if you want.
Sixth, regarding your life standards, you can easily adapt to lower standards and you can be grateful that your parents will pay all your basic's need. Now think of your bachelor not living standards that you should keep high for whatever's reason.
Seventh, you are in Europe not in Africa where you risk your safety or dying from hunger, so relax and enjoy your transition
I would say everything is gonna be fine for you

[tallandsweet]

First of all, thanks for your answer.
Ich finde zwar nicht, dass es so normal ist bei uns, schon mit 18 auszuziehen, möchte aber auch anmerken, dass das ganze leichter zu bewerkstelligen wäre, wenn ich vorher gewusst hätte, dass ich ausziehen würde :)
I agree with you that I will adapt. I'll apply to tons of good universities and have very good chances at being accepted.

[6suejsjsj]

It's neither common nor legal.

[IlyaTheImpaler]

Uh oh 😂
Aachen is a spa city right?

Well I've been living in university hall of residence since 2016 so even if I could say I no longer live with my parents and they no longer paid for my expenses since I was 16 (except for holidays), I am still pretty much sheltered.
Good luck with exams. Over all don't stress over this too much, I believe your parents want to see you succeed, which is also their success in raising you, so until you get a stable income I really don't think they will cut you off financially.

[tallandsweet]

Whats a spa city?

I agree with you, thanks for telling me that.

[IlyaTheImpaler]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spa_town#Germany

If you want to be financially independent the earliest possible, you already have the greatest money maker of the 21st century: the personal computer!

just learn programming and use your parent's money for now. Probably the fastest route is cs50 series.

The time it takes for you to grab a professional certificate from HarvardX is probably less than the time you need to spend every week taking photos of your pussy and selling them for food lol

www.edx.org/.../harvardx-computer-science-for-artifical-intelligence
www.edx.org/.../harvardx-computer-science-and-mobile-apps
www.edx.org/.../harvardx-computer-science-for-web-programming
(pick 1, the program requires literally zero experience)

after that get an internship for a summer, then start earning serious money perhaps in less than 1 year.

[IlyaTheImpaler]

Note that all course materials are available for free. You pay a fee only if you want to add a verified certificate upon completion. Certificate looks nice but it's not important, after you finish the course you'd already have several projects in your resume to prove your skills.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

That's a nice suggestion with relative information cheers 👍nice work

[tallandsweet]

Thanks bud. Extremely helpful. I already have an awesome Computer Science internship for the summer at a university in Austria :)
Also I really worked my arse off at school so I honestly should be able to go to any university that I want to attend - the only problem is housing but I'll figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Rent and food paid for? you're so lucky. Stop complaining.
You are very fortunate. Trust me, many kids have been "kicked out" with nothing and regardless of what you're given. To some extent your standard of living will decrease after moving out. Even if its just because mom isn't making you dinner every night. Its called growing up. Its scary at first but soon you'll come to love the freedom.
you're very privileged. So in the nicest way. Get over yourself you drama queen

[tallandsweet]

My parents haven't cooked for me in more than a year. Just because I live in a nice area that doesn't mean that I am less able to live on my own than you are.

[emmily2396]

How are they kicking you out if you just leave to study? And why would you need to go abroad to study computer science? My teachers didn't teach me much, i found most of it online... And what will you do in vacation?

[tallandsweet]

They would kick me out either way. Where I live, it’s uncommon to move away to study.
It doesn’t matter what I do next, they don’t want me to live where they live anymore.
I can come home when I want to but I think that I’ll try to build a life somewhere else.
There aren’t any vacations lol. I can go on holiday whenever I have money for that. Belgium, France, the Netherlands aren’t far away and even Austria is big enough to enjoy going on holiday there. I don’t like big road trips and would rather stay in a hotel for three days than drive with a car somewhere (petrol is more than twice as expensive as in the US here).

[emmily2396]

By vacation i mean during the summer and holiday break when you don't have to go to college. I

[LEETSBEREAL]

I was kicked out when I was 16 no warning no funds nothing just 'Good luck' and what ever money I had at the time. I am happy to hear that they have at least left you with some cash its really important you budget and make this money stretch as far as possible to buy your self as much time as you can to make more money or look for work jobs on the sides is a good idea. Apply for work from your phone. You really need to be strategical and resourceful at this stage what are your skills? People said I was good at flipping CVs and portraying people in a positive light so I charged to flip CVs it was school leaving time so I was lucky coz a lot of kids were looking for work not going on to College so I charged £10 per CV as people got jobs they recommended me had to hustle for 6 months until I found employment. Couldn't stay with my mate so had to work between hostels and walking the streets coz I couldn't always afford hostel but it wasn't safe for me to stay in one place on the street at that point in my life so I always kept moving getting wifi where I could. Once I found work I was able to get my own place and then things started to get better. You can do this. For one you have got your head screwed on so I believe your going to come out the other side. You got this.

[Jjpayne]

I'm kind if in the same boat. Renting a room with a friend. Renting a room with one you trust can be a good option or moving on campus if you are still in school. But overall, the focus should be paying off the student loan and putting money aside for the next big move. I'm fact, do that right now for this one. Just keep putting money away and saving it as much as possible. Its going to kill all the things you like to do now but its saving for the future and im pretty sure you will thank yourself later for it, even if it's only a hundred dollars a month. I'd also try to earn more money if possible by even something simple like babysitting and throw all that into jar. Save up as much money as you can before the move. But also make sure you have some friends that you can trust to help you with the move when the time comes because that will be helpful as well

[Agape93]

My advice, do what you must to get ahead financially. Living hand to mouth is stressful, exhausting and depressing. Do NOT fall into that trap. If that means camming (with a hidden face of course), working a job you hate that pays really well, taking classes to increase marketability etc. will help in the long run.

Dm me if you want to talk love

[Finchie40]

That will be good for you and to be honest it isn’t that bad considering your parents are still willing to help you if you have trouble , My parents didn’t give me that I had to work my ass off to get where I am at today , so be thankful you have a supporting family pushing you to succeed

[leonidas69]

I didn't read any further than your bold "question" because tldr... 😂

I was out of home at 16. It was not a dealine I could work towards. It was immediate and immensely difficult but I think you should be more prepared than I was and you'll be fine.

[theCobbler]

You will adapt and overcome! Sometimes in life we need to be thrown out of our comfort zone and learn basic survival skills connected to our new environments! It's all about adaptability!
Stay positive and alert, you'll be fine! Blessings to You!

[OddBeMe]

You never receive more freedom than when you move out. No matter how liberal your parents are. Grow up, get some credit and get some rental history. There are apartment complexes that cater to teen renters. Especially near colleges, which I hope you attend.

[Avicenna]

If you study in Germany, wouldn't you be eligible for Bafoeg? Maybe Austria has something similar?

[tallandsweet]

The studienbeihilfe in Austria would give me 5€/month because my parents make too much money for me to be eligible... the Studienbeihilfe is mainly for people whose parents don’t have a job or where only one parent works a job with less than 15h/week.

[Avicenna]

Schade!

[tallandsweet]

Yeah. Maybe I could get Bafög though, and I’ll apply for scholarships... also handed my high school paper in for a competition and I had a good chance at winning some money there :)

[Avicenna]

Sounds like a plan. I'm sure you'll figure it out.

[tallandsweet]

Quick update; I won’t be getting Bafög because I don’t need it and I also didn’t realise that half of it was a student loan that I’d have to pay back eventually (max 10 000€ But still). I don’t think I’ll need it... my parents gave me a budget and I know them well enough, they’re reasonable and also very generous, if I need something and can’t afford it, I’ll be able to ask them to help me out.

[Avicenna]

Glad to hear this

[tallandsweet]

Yesss :))

[spartan55]

So, I don't understand something. Where will you stay when you are home from university? Is there a reason they are kicking you out?

[tallandsweet]

With them... it’s all extremely confusing to me as well.
We had a big fight.

[spartan55]

Oookay, how are you staying with them if they kicked you out? This isn't making sense.

[smokey15]

Parents shouldn't kick kids out at 18 they should have the kid to get a job and save money buy a car insurance yes charge kids rent so that they have an idea what it cost to live have them buy groceries make sure they can survive life frist

[Aakash_Hangargi]

The best you could do is take room as rent in your own house get a job and pay the rent of your share some responsibilities as well like you would do if you were on your own

[emmily2396]

Studying computer science and getting a job? Lol. Maybe in computer science, another job would. be too much. You wouldn't pass.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Why so you need communication if you have information you can work anywhere any job, how many people do job as what they have learnt or degree is quite different there education and job doesn't match its just will power confidence and communication you can work its not that impossible

[Aakash_Hangargi]

You can make blogs, YouTube videos online classes like udemy, unacademy and earn monthly income

[emmily2396]

Because i studied computer science and it is difficult to pass without a job.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

I have done the same earning a decent money 😊 got a some what good job

[emmily2396]

I don't know about you but most students at my college didn't manage to finish a year without at least 1 failed exam. And many didn't have a job. Those who had a job in the field did better, but somewere probably smarter too. Just because you did it that doesn't mean everyone will manage

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Yes, that's what I am telling I am not the smartest but I still have made it somewhat good, if not that they can still do something that they are better at they can choose to develop that and also pass the exam patience and persistence is the key

[Aakash_Hangargi]

And failure doesn't mean that you are bad but you get another chance to prove yourself

[tallandsweet]

@emmily2396 Where did you study if I may ask?

[emmily2396]

Romania

[hunt101]

I was on my own simce14. I remember being 25 and I was still a child then. I needed a lot of help had to rasie myslef

[nodnol32]

Why are they kicking you out but still paying your rent and all that? I can't get my head around it. Sorry. Is it a love hate relationship?

[tallandsweet]

I don’t want to talk about it anymore

[tallandsweet]

LOL did you seriously anonymise your opinion because you were embarrassed of this being on your profile?

[nodnol32]

I wanted to delete my opinion but i can't seem to be able to do that. Its a tense situation for you for now. I hope it all works out for you. I just wansn' happy with my opinion, I felt was too insensitive maybe.

[Ricebeans]

That's something that I find crazy in North Americans life. For us Puerto Ricans you still have a good 10 more years to stay home and if is a girl you can be 30 years old and been living at home easily.

[yenofed840]

If yuo are interested in computers then you can earn money throught blogging or affiliate marketing, in a 6 months you can earn that much.

[COMMODOREII]

Why are they kicking you out? I have lived on my own before it is quite fun. I had a good job to live on. Are you going to be working also?

[thisisausername9999]

thats kinda messed up. I pay rent with my parents, but I never been flat out kicked out

[Christina_99]

Good Luck been their at 17 but when I came out luckily my grandmother took me in part of it just to piss my mom off.

[Anonymous]

they'll pay your rent and for your needs so you won't be on your own anyway. i understand it's hurtful to your pride but ultimately what's the issue?

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Sorry to hear that. Wish you the best of luck.